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Southern men tend to be more polite, well-mannered etc. than northern/western men. People in general, not just women, tend to be more friendly in the south.
Yes. But, based on your previous post, you seem to think there is a bifurcated code of conduct towards others, based on whether you like them or not. To me, that signals a rather cavalier approach to the subject, as if common courtesy is something that is conditional.
To me, you are polite to others regardless of your feelings for that person--short of axe murderers and child molesters.
Nope. I have read here more than once about what "bless your heart" really means when southern women use it. All the "sugar" and "darlin'" crap that's really just a facade. If that is how some people want to be, fine, but don't use it as proof that southern women are so much friendlier than other women.
There's a difference between polite and fake. With few exceptions, I am polite to people whether I like them or not. However, I don't go out of my way to be fake and fawn all over them.
Nope. I have read here more than once about what "bless your heart" really means when southern women use it. All the "sugar" and "darlin'" crap that's really just a facade. If that is how some people want to be, fine, but don't use it as proof that southern women are so much friendlier than other women.
There's a difference between polite and fake. With few exceptions, I am polite to people whether I like them or not. However, I don't go out of my way to be fake and fawn all over them.
you're just proving his point, that you miss the nuances of what it means to be polite. (it has nothing to do with calling people "sugah" or "darlin".)
being nice to people that you like is not "polite", it is normal.
knowing how to make strangers feel good, even when they disgust you, that is what it means to be polite. yeah, it can be fake, but that's how it goes.
you're just proving his point, that you miss the nuances of what it means to be polite.
being nice to people that you like is not "polite", it is normal.
knowing how to make other people feel good, even when they disgust you, that is what it means to be polite. yeah, it can be fake, but that's how it goes.
I personally don't think that fakeness/manipulation is a positive trait. I agree that people need to be polite to folks whether you like them or not, but there is really no reason to lay it on thick like I've seen some southern women do.
Nope. I have read here more than once about what "bless your heart" really means when southern women use it. All the "sugar" and "darlin'" crap that's really just a facade. If that is how some people want to be, fine, but don't use it as proof that southern women are so much friendlier than other women.
There's a difference between polite and fake. With few exceptions, I am polite to people whether I like them or not. However, I don't go out of my way to be fake and fawn all over them.
Well, since when is "bless your heart" not preferable to "My God, you are a stupid biotch"?
Something tells me that you belong to the school of thought that people should say exactly what they're thinking precisely at the moment they're thinking it, without concern for the other person's feelings or airing disputes in public.
You also, based on this post, seem to think that politeness is situational, only to be used on people you find agreeable. Other than that, it's a waste of your time and energy. And the fact of the matter is that Southern women are actually telling you exactly what they think of you. It's just that your social antennae might not be as finely calibrated as they should be. Being subtle isn't the same thing as being fake.
Back to the original point. The litmus test of who you are is how you treat those you don't necessarily care for. After all, anybody can be nice to their friends.
I personally don't think that fakeness/manipulation is a positive trait. I agree that people need to be polite to folks whether you like them or not, but there is really no reason to lay it on thick like I've seen some southern women do.
You can be polite while keeping your distance.
people know it when you keep your distance. it makes them feel bad, and that is impolite.
IMO some folks are under the misconception that being polite is supposed to be a wholly positive endeavour. No, being polite is difficult, it requires attentiveness and sacrifices, and it comes with a few negative consequences. nothing is black and white.
i say this because i was raised in an environment that was obsessed with politeness. it is not all roses.
Well, since when is "bless your heart" not preferable to "My God, you are a stupid biotch"?
Something tells me that you belong to the school of thought that people should say exactly what they're thinking precisely at the moment they're thinking it, without concern for the other person's feelings or airing disputes in public.
You also, based on this post, seem to think that politeness is situational, only to be used on people you find agreeable. Other than that, it's a waste of your time and energy.
I would argue the exact opposite. The litmus test of who you are is how you treat those you don't necessarily care for. After all, anybody can be nice to their friends.
You know very little about me and have no idea how I treat people. I do not say exactly what I'm thinking without concern for the other person's feelings. There are a few people that I would not be polite to and I have my reasons for that. I do believe in being polite to the vast majority of people, whether I like them or not.
Of the two alternatives, it would be better to say "bless your heart." However, if it is only said as an alternative and is not sincere it is fake. There's nothing inherently wrong with being fake rather than rude. Just don't use that as some sort of proof that southern women are so much better than other women.
I personally don't think that fakeness/manipulation is a positive trait. I agree that people need to be polite to folks whether you like them or not, but there is really no reason to lay it on thick like I've seen some southern women do.
You can be polite while keeping your distance.
Agreed. Just because they can lay it on thick doesn't make them better than anyone else. It just means that they are good at being fake.
You know very little about me and have no idea how I treat people. I do not say exactly what I'm thinking without concern for the other person's feelings. There are a few people that I would not be polite to and I have my reasons for that. I do believe in being polite to the vast majority of people, whether I like them or not.
Of the two alternatives, it would be better to say "bless your heart." However, if it is only said as an alternative and is not sincere it is fake. There's nothing inherently wrong with being fake rather than rude. Just don't use that as some sort of proof that southern women are so much better than other women.
I didn't say they were. I said they were different.
However, I will say that a euphemistic phrase is far better that being blunt. Both parties, assuming basic social skills, knows exactly what message is being delivered.
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