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Interesting when I was dating my boyfriend he wanted kids while I never did (and still don't). Couple years later, he's ok with my choice. Hopefully it stays that way.
A kid running around or throwing tantrums would be enough to turn my hair gray. Plus what if your disciplinary method fails? Then what? If it's too hard they'll resent you for a life-time and if it's very lenient they'll blame you either way so it would be a lose/lose issue for me. Lastly, teaching isn't my hobby.
I think there are probably at least a couple of types of men who like kids - those who are more interested in kids when they are babies and those who are more interested in kids when they are older and able to communicate better. Personally, I had eczema as a kid and I chose not to have any of my own as I do not want to a) pass it on and perpetuate it, and b) have my kid go through what I went through.
Basically, I also think that (some) men are like only-children - they want all the attention from their wives/gf and they have got used to this. Before the baby comes along they are the focus of the relationship for the woman. As soon as the baby comes along, he/she gets all the attention and there is no time for the husband as all the attention has to go on the baby. This is my theory why some men run off and have affairs or leave at this time. They do not realise that this is what happens and they are not prepared for it.
So... now you can shoot me down and tell me this is a load of rubbish.
No fatherly instinct here. And even if I had a fatherly instinct I still wouldn't want to have kids. Just think about how this world will be in 20-30 and more years. Every time I see a kid I feel terribly sorry for it.
While out and about on the weekend I noticed that a lot of men with children seem to have a very tired "just kill me now" look about them when their kid is misbehaving.
It made me wonder if men would even have kids if it weren't for the wishes of their wife/partner?
Guys, do you have the fatherly instinct or did you have children because you thought it was the natural relationship progression, not because you actually wanted them?
I believe that a "paternal instinct" is learned behavior and not inherent. Some men seem to truly enjoy a family. Many do not.
I think at some point, 99 percent of all parents wish that they did not have children. This may be a fleeting wish based upon momentary frustration or anger or disappointment. Nevertheless, my opinion is that most men would be perfectly happy without a child or children to be responsible for.
The problem stems, I believe, from the fact that men are not emotionally equipped to deal with children. It is not their role in nature. It is a role that society has thrust them into. If a man looks frustrated or angry because of a misbehaving (or "fussy") child it is because in nature it is very unlikely that he would have to deal with this - since typically, the female of the species is better equipped to handle it.
Speaking in generalities that is. Personally, I'd rather strangle a kid than have to deal with a crying, sobbing, whiney little creature. But hey, that's me.
Personally, I'd rather strangle a kid than have to deal with a crying, sobbing, whiney little creature. But hey, that's me.
LOL that's how I feel. Babysitting my boyfriend's 2 nephews with him is like hell on earth to me, even if they are well behaved. I feel like they have to be constantly entertained and are constantly asking questions.
its not the kids they hate, its the powerlessness to provide the discipline they so desperately need.
they know they are watching a young upcoming rapidly developing confident utter failure b4 their very eyes. without constructive punishment and progressive discipline we do not learn critical life skills.
we did not like the way our grandparents did things so we did our own version, we have failed.
dr spock-- another false prophet of the 60's.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 06-27-2010 at 11:22 PM..
Is it horrible that I would rather a pet over a child anyday?
If the shoe fits wear it!
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