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I guess you're missing my point. I didn't say it had to be money. I did mention stay-at-home-dads, and education.He could cook, clean, take care of the kids while she works, or going to school for higher education: Something. Not just living like a teenager with no responsibilities while she has to work, cook, clean pay bills, etc.
Obviously he's providing something that she wants. Or she wouldn't be with him. So he's doing his part.
I also thought people sometimes do question the role reversal: she's called a "gold-digger" or a "trophy", depending on who's speaking.
That is a small subset. Usually, the man is blamed for only looking at a woman's attractiveness. BTW, in my long experience, I've only seen a few really clear cut situations like this. Attractiveness may be important to many men, but to go exclusively for this is rare.
In contrast, it seems quite common for women to think they can save or change losers. However, perhaps this is because, being a man, I have a pretty good idea who the losers are - and its generally not the guys who aren't getting laid.
Obviously he's providing something that she wants. Or she wouldn't be with him. So he's doing his part.
It might not have been enough. I've gotten a hint that he's getting the job (and another) so he can move into her place and also pay his portion of rent. That tells me while she appreciates him enough to still be in a relationship, she's no pushover; or that he's turning a corner and trying to mature.
That is a small subset. Usually, the man is blamed for only looking at a woman's attractiveness. BTW, in my long experience, I've only seen a few really clear cut situations like this. Attractiveness may be important to many men, but to go exclusively for this is rare.
In contrast, it seems quite common for women to think they can save or change losers. However, perhaps this is because, being a man, I have a pretty good idea who the losers are - and its generally not the guys who aren't getting laid.
This is true. Guys may fawn for a model, but will be happy with a decent looking woman with personality. Women do like to think they can change men/people in general; of course only the men can change for themselves.
I don't mind if a woman lives with me and doesn't pay a dime or contribute in any other way. Perhaps I have a female counterpart who would do the same thing?
I don't mind if a woman lives with me and doesn't pay a dime or contribute in any other way. Perhaps I have a female counterpart who would do the same thing?
I have a GF, who I call the "Bum Magnet". The last 3 guys she's been with have been total leeches. She has an advanced degree and a good job, yet she consistently dates unemployed or under-employed jerks, who always seem to want to live in her nice house and drive her nice car, yet never add anything significant to the relationship.
I think its more about her lack of self-esteem and willingness to put up with crap just to have a man around. More worrisome is that she has a couple daughters that are seemingly falling into the loser mantrap!
My general question is why would women get involved/stay involved with men that don't have it together?
my experience is that women want someone driven and ambitious, but men don't care about those qualities very much in women. men just want someone attractive and sweet.
therefore if a woman lacks those qualities that a man wants, her best options might involve settling for someone who lacks the qualities she wants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar
If women were equal, there would be no stigma. So I guess they aren't.
Workaholics rule ... ambitious amphibian .. people call us big sharks !! .. i hate nose bleeds
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