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Old 06-28-2010, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
4,611 posts, read 3,164,466 times
Reputation: 2880
Smile Guy Tips

So ladies.....

You know what you want and when you say it sometimes () your guy doesn't get it.

Guilty as charged here.

But every now and then, the light comes on and I get that ah-ha moment.

Like this weekend. My wife said something and to my guy brain is was a question, but not much more. I could say yes or no-no big deal. Something like "do you think it would be nice if....?" Or "what do you think of XYZ?" My ah-ha moment came and I realized she was making a request, not simply asking for my opinion.

So this morning I thought.........wow, wouldn't it be nice if some of you women would be kind enough to share some tips to help us poor lugs understand what our wives/girlfriends/SO are really saying.
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,715,341 times
Reputation: 9099
I don't even know what some women are saying--and I'm a woman. I don't get the hints and subtlties that many women use to try to...persuade or whatever. I'm not that patient so I just come out with it. So my tip would be, tell her point blank, "Just tell me what you want, spell it out".
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 5,401,876 times
Reputation: 3512
When I say I want to spend time together, I mean without distractions. Being in the same room together watching a movie doesn't count--I want his undivided attention.

Since I told him that, my husband's been wonderful about making time each day for real conversations and activities.
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Old 06-28-2010, 12:17 PM
 
951 posts, read 991,128 times
Reputation: 615
Write down what you want. Set priorities. Then communicate it to him. Get out of the way unless he asks for your help.

My mother does none of these things. I never really know what she wants. She starts yammering about something, in an oblique way just before I plan to leave. Usually requires at least one tool thats not available. I'm dressed in work clothes!

I thought the women's movement would improve things in this area but I was wrong!
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Old 06-28-2010, 12:39 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,893 posts, read 18,495,497 times
Reputation: 29267
I don't like the subtle hint approach. If the trash is full, I won't say, "Wow, that trash can is really full" in hopes that my husband will jump up and take it out. Knowing him, he'd say, "I guess you better take it out then" anyway, or maybe, "Gross." If I want him to take it out (I am in the middle of making dinner, for instance), I just ask him. The simplest route between A and B is a straight line: question and answer.

OP, to your question, one thing that seems to tick a lot of women off is when men say they will do something and then don't. If I ask you to take out the trash but you're in the middle of something and say, "I'll take it out in a while," that's fine. What isn't fine is when the trash just sits and sits. (The trash is just an example; I'm not equating taking it out with a "man's job.") Maybe you forgot? Okay. But when we have to remind you again and again, now we're nagging. We really hate nagging. And if, after the third or fourth reminder, you're just going to come back with, "Why don't YOU do it?" that's no better than the "subtle hints" women are criticized for.

If you say you're going to do something, do it. That's the only tip I can think of right now.
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Old 06-28-2010, 12:45 PM
 
951 posts, read 991,128 times
Reputation: 615
Of course, you can always find the type of man who anticipates problems and acts on them. I'm that type and women do recognize these attributes in a man. Unfortunately, it is their mother who sees this. The kiss of death.
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Old 06-28-2010, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
4,611 posts, read 3,164,466 times
Reputation: 2880
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
If you say you're going to do something, do it. That's the only tip I can think of right now.
Thanks.

That is one of my weak areas-sometimes I forget that I said "I'll do it later". They my wife reminds me.
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:26 PM
 
5,891 posts, read 4,504,731 times
Reputation: 2753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
So ladies.....

You know what you want and when you say it sometimes () your guy doesn't get it.

Guilty as charged here.

But every now and then, the light comes on and I get that ah-ha moment.

Like this weekend. My wife said something and to my guy brain is was a question, but not much more. I could say yes or no-no big deal. Something like "do you think it would be nice if....?" Or "what do you think of XYZ?" My ah-ha moment came and I realized she was making a request, not simply asking for my opinion.

So this morning I thought.........wow, wouldn't it be nice if some of you women would be kind enough to share some tips to help us poor lugs understand what our wives/girlfriends/SO are really saying.
The best guy tip a guy can give another guy is these, "huh what did you say"?LMAO...... The best $14 you will ever spend buddy! Low Profile Shooting Muffs: MGW
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