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Old 06-29-2010, 11:56 AM
 
4,445 posts, read 4,251,693 times
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...Do women feel this disgusting need to be with a man all the time?

I have 2 of my best friends making me feel horrible about myself because I haven't had a boyfriend in a year. I'm only 24 and they're annoyed and disagree on that if I'm not attracted to someone, I won't date them because I think, what's the point? I simply don't believe in half-assing a relationship. I think my friends are being immature and insecure and above all, really rude and uncalled for. They even went as far as saying I needed "flirting lessons" because I wasn't all over these really attractive guys I had just met a few nights ago that one of their friends knew. I have no problem attracting men and letting them know I'm attracted to them, but not when I've known them maybe 5 minutes. That's just the beginning of their insults too. I also think these friends of mine are the worst people to take dating advice from, seeing as one is dating a man she's not in love with, and the other is dating a guy who lives in another state (she met him while she lived there) and she just got out of a 4 year relationship not even 3 months ago. I even told her I didn't think she should jump in so soon, but of course, why listen to the single girl? they're both really young, 23 and 21 and act like they know it all. I don't think I know it all and I'd rather learn from people who have more wisdom than me. What they're doing is their decision, but if I don't agree with it, I don't feel the need to take advice from what I disagree with.

I'm very independent minded and although I don't enjoy being single that much, I'd much rather wait for someone it feels "right" with than just take any guy that pays attention to me. But that's me.
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:59 AM
 
Location: In my skin
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Some people, not just women, can't be alone. And some people think that having a partner/getting married makes you complete. Far from the truth.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:00 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,259 posts, read 19,316,653 times
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Sounds like you hate your friends.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, B.C., Canada
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it sounds like you get you head on right and have out grown your friends in terms of maturity level. I would just keep doing what your doing and not worry about what they say and who you should date. Because in the end it is up to you to decide who you like not them.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,033,452 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Some people, not just women, can't be alone. And some people think that having a partner/getting married makes you complete. Far from the truth.
What she^ said. I'm not so sure I'd call it disgusting. Interesting choice of words. I knowmany independent people--male and female--who feel they need to be in a relationship and that's ok. Everyone has different needs. They need to be true to themselves regardless of what others think.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:05 PM
 
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My mother had a phrase that came in handy for dealing with people like that: Let it go in one ear and out the other.

My own two cents is: No one can make you feel horrible about yourself without your permission. Expand your circle of friends to include people who are not so needy and judgmental. Plenty of women out there see life as you do. Come and join us. We have cookies.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:09 PM
 
Location: The Milky Way Galaxy
2,249 posts, read 3,804,410 times
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That's just a blanket statement of all girls which is not true (I'm a guy by the way).

I know you say they are best friends but they're not acting like it. You hit it on the money...they are insecure with themselves and feel the need to have someone else like them in order to make themselves feel they are up above yourself or other people.

Continue with your thinking. Independent minded is good... it tells me you are happy with yourself which is a key step before getting into a relationship.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:14 PM
 
4,445 posts, read 4,251,693 times
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chocolate-that sounds about right!

Julia-I hate them right now..but really I do love them, they're like my little sisters.

GTO-You're onto something. I really do feel like I've outgrown their maturity level.

Whyte-ha, I guess disgusting was the wrong word to use, but sometimes that neediness really is disgusting. You have a point about independent people needing relationships and I get that, but the only relationship I need is one that feels right. I'm talking about people who will get into any relationship, even if it doesn't feel right, just because they need someone all the time. I mean this is why divorce is so high, people don't get married for love anymore, they get married because they can get something.

Avienne- you're right, and I don't think about their horrible words until we speak and then it hurts. I have a wide variety of friends and everyone else I spoke to thinks they're being really out of line and rude.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,033,452 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86 View Post

Whyte-ha, I guess disgusting was the wrong word to use, but sometimes that neediness really is disgusting. You have a point about independent people needing relationships and I get that, but the only relationship I need is one that feels right. I'm talking about people who will get into any relationship, even if it doesn't feel right, just because they need someone all the time. I mean this is why divorce is so high, people don't get married for love anymore, they get married because they can get something.

.
After reading posts here for so long, I think a lot of people marry out of, partly, exactly what you're talking about, but I'll break it down to this--their desire to be loved. They're so eager to be loved they see things in situations and people and relationships that aren't really there. It leads to settling so often.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:18 PM
 
4,445 posts, read 4,251,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgt04 View Post
That's just a blanket statement of all girls which is not true (I'm a guy by the way).

I know you say they are best friends but they're not acting like it. You hit it on the money...they are insecure with themselves and feel the need to have someone else like them in order to make themselves feel they are up above yourself or other people.

Continue with your thinking. Independent minded is good... it tells me you are happy with yourself which is a key step before getting into a relationship.

thank you! I think I'm pretty awesome! They say they're trying to "help" me because I guess they think I'll be single forever or something and no, I didn't mean all women as I know some very independent ones myself, thanks for correcting me
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