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Old 06-29-2010, 01:53 PM
 
943 posts, read 1,871,112 times
Reputation: 484
Default Just found out this guy I've been dating for months

has a girlfriend. My friend discovered some very recent photos of him together with his girlfriend, and got the confirmation through a close source that they are an item. I was so heartbroken and disgusted/chocked that I just deleted his info from my phone (bbm and number) without confronting him about anything. What pisses me off the most is that I met him though mutual friends and no one told me anything until now. Should I have at least confronted him first?
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,366 posts, read 14,246,705 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1 View Post
has a girlfriend. My friend discovered some very recent photos of him together with his girlfriend, and got the confirmation through a close source that they are an item. I was so heartbroken and disgusted/chocked that I just deleted his info from my phone (bbm and number) without confronting him about anything. What pisses me off the most is that I met him though mutual friends and no one told me anything until now. Should I have at least confronted him first?
I would say no. You don`t owe him an explanation for anything after that incident, but I would, however, be sure to go out of my way to ask your "mutual friends" about it.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:00 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,928 posts, read 4,462,055 times
Reputation: 12139
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1 View Post
has a girlfriend. My friend discovered some very recent photos of him together with his girlfriend, and got the confirmation through a close source that they are an item. I was so heartbroken and disgusted/chocked that I just deleted his info from my phone (bbm and number) without confronting him about anything. What pisses me off the most is that I met him though mutual friends and no one told me anything until now. Should I have at least confronted him first?
I don't understand why people take such extensive measures without going to the source first. If you've been seeing this guy for a few months, why not take the time to ask him about the photos? Doesn't he deserve the opportunity to provide an explanation....don't you deserve one?
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
3,979 posts, read 3,009,452 times
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Did he tell you he wasn't dating anyone else, or did you just assume that? Many times people don't date only one person exclusively. I would have talked to him about it, rather than 'confront him', only if he had told you that you were exclusive and the only woman he is dating. What you assume is really not his fault. To me confronting him has a negative overtone, talking to him does not. If you do talk to him, you might find out there is more to the story that what it appears to be.

Last edited by Nite Ryder; 06-29-2010 at 02:20 PM..
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:11 PM
 
943 posts, read 1,871,112 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
Did he tell you he wasn't dating anyone else, or did you just assume that? Many times people don't date only one person exclusively. I would have talked to him about it, rather than 'confront him', only if he had told you that you were exclusive and the only woman he is dating. What you assume is really not his fault. To me confronting him has a negative overtone, talking to him does not.
He told me that he was single and was just dating other people. There is a distinct difference between having a girlfriend and dating other people non exclusively.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:14 PM
 
943 posts, read 1,871,112 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
I don't understand why people take such extensive measures without going to the source first. If you've been seeing this guy for a few months, why not take the time to ask him about the photos? Doesn't he deserve the opportunity to provide an explanation....don't you deserve one?
I don't think I want to hear anything from him at this point.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:16 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,791 posts, read 2,445,073 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1 View Post
has a girlfriend. My friend discovered some very recent photos of him together with his girlfriend, and got the confirmation through a close source that they are an item. I was so heartbroken and disgusted/chocked that I just deleted his info from my phone (bbm and number) without confronting him about anything. What pisses me off the most is that I met him though mutual friends and no one told me anything until now. Should I have at least confronted him first?

Nope he dont deserve any attention from you
he did you a big favor by having you not ending up with a loser
Now enjoy your single life and when the time is right find someone who is worthy of you...
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:17 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,928 posts, read 4,462,055 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1 View Post
I don't think I want to hear anything from him at this point.
So automatically guilty with no chance of being proven innocent, huh? If that's the way you want to handle it, that's your call.

I can understand you're p*ssed but I wouldn't waste anymore emotion on it if you're not going to at least hear what he's got to say about it. If you don't think you deserve an explanation.......move on....end of story.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:18 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
11,996 posts, read 12,085,335 times
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If hes never asked for an exclusive relationship, that means hes free to date others and so are you. But, its apparent you had the feeling you were. Theres no point in seeing him bc you'll always have this in the back of your mind, so I'd say your relationship with him is done and I wouldn't confront him with what you know unless he contacts you. Its time to move on and find the guy you can be exclusive with.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,301 posts, read 54,771,183 times
Reputation: 37020
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1 View Post
has a girlfriend. My friend discovered some very recent photos of him together with his girlfriend, and got the confirmation through a close source that they are an item. I was so heartbroken and disgusted/chocked that I just deleted his info from my phone (bbm and number) without confronting him about anything. What pisses me off the most is that I met him though mutual friends and no one told me anything until now. Should I have at least confronted him first?

I say, it's dangerous and foolish to make assumptions. Sometimes things can look one way when the reality is something far different.

Be a grownup and call him. Give him a chance to tell you if those pics are 5 years old, or maybe the girl in them is his cousin. Basically, I wouldn't assume the worst until I had more facts. I mean, isn't it possible none of your "mutual friends" told you anything because there was nothing to tell? Why are you so ready to believe the worst?
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