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Old 07-02-2010, 07:54 PM
 
354 posts, read 616,254 times
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My ex fiancee of 5 years left me almost 1 year ago. I remember that the first couple of months after the breakup I thought about taking my own life. It was the first time in my life that I ever had these thoughts. Deep down I knew that I would never follow through with this and the thoughts subsided after a while. Thinking back at those times I am astonished at myself. I was just wondering if these thoughts of suicide are normal for someone to have after the end of a relationship?
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Old 07-02-2010, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Lyon, France, Whidbey Island WA
20,830 posts, read 16,995,249 times
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Tough to answer that question, but feelings like that are common. Are you talking with someone about it? Just askin, not trying to be intrusive but those feelings should be taken somewhat seriously, no?
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Old 07-02-2010, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,709,454 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanman76 View Post
My ex fiancee of 5 years left me almost 1 year ago. I remember that the first couple of months after the breakup I thought about taking my own life. It was the first time in my life that I ever had these thoughts. Deep down I knew that I would never follow through with this and the thoughts subsided after a while. Thinking back at those times I am astonished at myself. I was just wondering if these thoughts of suicide are normal for someone to have after the end of a relationship?
Oh yeah when I was younger. It's the highest form of rejection. You feel like crap after it. But please please remember life goes on, and there is always someone better for you. Not to preach religion (from an ex Catholic) but god has a plan for all of us!
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,602 posts, read 4,147,852 times
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What your feeling may be the pain in your heart of loving someone and having to forcefully move on. Often, relationships last longer then they really should because people know they just aren't working out, yet, they aren't ready to let go for one reason or another ... Often fear of being a lone, or what if they don't find someone else, or maybe, they're hoping the other person will change. People don't change. Not unless they themselves want to change for them. You can't change for someone else, you will only grow to resent that person at a later time-

You should feel as though your life is worth significant deep, meaningful, driven, passionate purpose and if you don't know what that purpose is, or if you don't feel passionate about "life" then something is not right. Breakups take a lot out of someone, but you should still feeling as though you are worthy of someone who will love, respect, honor and "want" to be with you and hold this in high regard. If none of this is even close, then you should seek therapy for a while. There is absolutely nothing wrong with therapy, I think everyone in this world could benefit from sessions time to time, really. I want to add, you should look in the mirror and love yourself, you create your own happiness. Letting someone else bring you down is just not healthy ...The best thing you can do to get back at an ex is go on with life and be happy !!!!

Choose life and focus on the path ahead. Now is the time to create new goals, dreams, visions and chase them on your own !! You can't be with someone else if you can't even stand on your own.

In my honest opinion, if someone was seriously posting a thread about suicide, it would be their way of asking for help. In that, it's their first step in the right direction. They shouldn't be afraid to to seek an outside source in refocusing on life's journey.

Last edited by ImCurlybelle; 07-02-2010 at 08:16 PM..
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:20 PM
 
3,059 posts, read 8,254,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanman76 View Post
My ex fiancee of 5 years left me almost 1 year ago. I remember that the first couple of months after the breakup I thought about taking my own life. It was the first time in my life that I ever had these thoughts. Deep down I knew that I would never follow through with this and the thoughts subsided after a while. Thinking back at those times I am astonished at myself. I was just wondering if these thoughts of suicide are normal for someone to have after the end of a relationship?
Is it normal? Absolutely. The pain of losing someone you love, of feeling rejected, can be excruciating.
I am glad you are through it and it is just "thinking back" and analysis at this time.
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Denver
690 posts, read 2,103,426 times
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I think it's normal. I've felt that way over breakups from relationships that were much shorter than five years.
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:26 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,954,697 times
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It's not normal for me. I understand the pain but I never once thought about taking my life after a break up. Maybe I'm too in love with myself.
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,602 posts, read 4,147,852 times
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I think it's normal to want to lay down and not get up, your entire world has come crashing down, but to seriously think, "I'm going to hang myself today," or "I'm going to overdose on drugs today" is not normal. There's a fine line. And, in therapy they will ask you, "Do you have thoughts of suicide". Because this is taken VERY seriously. It's those that say, "No, I'm just saying it" that turn around and do it".
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,617,183 times
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Yep, very normal. Also normal to have those thoughts at other times in life when it feels incredibly painful to be in whatever situation you find yourself. What is NOT normal is following thru. Because, of course, the situation eventually does pass.
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Old 07-02-2010, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Denver
690 posts, read 2,103,426 times
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What I usually did was buy a really big bottle of aspirin (I'm not even sure if the bottle had enough in it to actually kill me, though) and I'd stare at it. I would look at it and think about how, if things didn't get better, maybe that would end my misery. But, even on bad days, I always had this feeling that things were going to get better. And they eventually did, it just took forever.

Now I think I'm a little better at managing those feelings. I recommend vigorous exercise to people who feel that way. I still get really upset from time to time, but I always feel much better after a nice run.
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