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Old 07-08-2010, 05:35 PM
 
8,743 posts, read 10,272,184 times
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I ended it last night because I felt we were too different. I didn't feel the sparks anymore and it was getting too much for me to handle with school, work and hiding it from both mine and his parents. We couldnt tell our parents because mine are traditional Indian who want me to have an arranged marriage.

His parents were Chinese who wanted the same thing. It was getting so hard for me to hide it.

But I am so depressed about it.

I am 22 and have been with him since I was 18. For my age, that is almost a quarter of my life.

Any advice? I feel so broken.

Last edited by Theliberalvoice; 07-08-2010 at 05:52 PM..
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:46 PM
 
6,127 posts, read 6,442,655 times
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I'm sorry you're going through that. It's tough.

You probably have heard this enough, but time really does help. Four years is a long time to be with someone, especially when you are that young. My advice would be to focus on yourself. Do things that make you happy or try new things you never thought you would.

Best of luck.
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:49 PM
 
8,743 posts, read 10,272,184 times
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We were high school sweet hearts. This really sucks. I just want to make sure I did the right thing.
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:50 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,402,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
I ended it last night because I felt we were too different. I didn't feel the sparks anymore and it was getting too much for me to handle with school, work and hiding it from both mine and his parents.

But I am so depressed about it.

I am 22 and have been with him since I was 18. For my age, that is almost a quarter of my life.

Any advice? I feel so broken.
I don't think any of us knows the need of hiding your relationship from both set of parents and I'm not sure it matters...I just want to offer my support.
It's hard to break up with a person you spent so much time with. I can understand the heartbreak you are feeling. Just spend a lot of time now with people you love and doing things you enjoy doing.
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:51 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,402,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
We were high school sweet hearts. This really sucks. I just want to make sure I did the right thing.

Only you can answer that if you look deep down inside. We can all just speculate and make suggestions.
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:52 PM
 
8,743 posts, read 10,272,184 times
Reputation: 3385
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I don't think any of us knows the need of hiding your relationship from both set of parents and I'm not sure it matters...I just want to offer my support.
It's hard to break up with a person you spent so much time with. I can understand the heartbreak you are feeling. Just spend a lot of time now with people you love and doing things you enjoy doing.
We couldnt tell our parents because mine are traditional Indian who want me to have an arranged marriage.

His parents were Chinese who wanted the same thing. It was getting so hard for me to hide it.
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Old 07-08-2010, 06:03 PM
 
6,127 posts, read 6,442,655 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
We were high school sweet hearts. This really sucks. I just want to make sure I did the right thing.
Unfortunately, you're the only one who can decide if it's the right thing. I often think young people who have been in LTR's can benefit from being single for awhile. It can be a great opportunity to find out who you really are, what you want out of life, etc.

Breakups suck and it will hurt for awhile, but hopefully with the support of friends and/or family it will start to hurt less and less. Try not to let anyone tell you when you SHOULD be over it, though. You will get through it in your own time and in your own way. Please take care of yourself.
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Old 07-08-2010, 06:18 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,402,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
We couldnt tell our parents because mine are traditional Indian who want me to have an arranged marriage.

His parents were Chinese who wanted the same thing. It was getting so hard for me to hide it.
I bet that put a lot of pressure on the romance in this relationship. In the beginning hiding can be exciting and then it just becomes a burden...Unfortunately "Romeo and Juliet" didn't work out in the book and rarely works out in real life.
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Old 07-08-2010, 06:24 PM
 
29,988 posts, read 37,190,235 times
Reputation: 12760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theliberalvoice View Post
I ended it last night because I felt we were too different. I didn't feel the sparks anymore and it was getting too much for me to handle with school, work and hiding it from both mine and his parents. We couldnt tell our parents because mine are traditional Indian who want me to have an arranged marriage.

His parents were Chinese who wanted the same thing. It was getting so hard for me to hide it.

But I am so depressed about it.

I am 22 and have been with him since I was 18. For my age, that is almost a quarter of my life.

Any advice? I feel so broken.
Sounds like it was your choice. You must have thought it out well. The broken feeling will pass with time. You have lost someone who had become part of yourself. It takes time. Focus on your work and school. The next time you date for a long-term relationship decide up front if you are willing to allow the relationship to live up to your own expectations, or that of your parents. You are an adult and should not have to "hide" anything from your parents. That you did for the past 4 years and that you ended the relationship probably means that it was not important enough to you to confront your parents and fight for it.
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:06 PM
 
5,457 posts, read 6,897,712 times
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Your screen name says you are pro Freedom, pro choice, and pro woman, but you are allowing your parents' outdated view on arranged marriages to prevent you from seeing who you want?

Your ex may not be the one you want, but do you want to have someone chosen for you? It just doesn't seem like you to allow someone else to decide your future happiness.
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