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Old 07-13-2010, 12:18 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 1,597,700 times
Reputation: 616

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vynlriche View Post
I would never tell a woman! anything they could bring up years later... my gawd..
Some things are just better off left untold.
I don't see what's up with the ''Confess and risk your relationship'' many keep advising when a SO mess up. Next thing you would have to deal with after doing the so called ''right thing'' is either lose your relationship or answer too many questions to the point they won't leave you alone.
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Old 07-13-2010, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 55,155,285 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
What makes you think that??
Admittedly, nothing more than general impression and sixth sense. Of course, in addition to this incident not really being an accident. That's not something that suddenly came up that night while being drunk. It's been on your mind for a long time and you just acted on it when your inhibitions were lowered. As the saying goes: in vino veritas.
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Old 07-13-2010, 01:28 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,211 posts, read 12,747,264 times
Reputation: 13628
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Admittedly, nothing more than general impression and sixth sense. Of course, in addition to this incident not really being an accident. That's not something that suddenly came up that night while being drunk. It's been on your mind for a long time and you just acted on it when your inhibitions were lowered. As the saying goes: in vino veritas.
Have to agree with you again sierra, theres more going on and alcohol always takes the rap.

Sunflower
You're not ready to be in a committed long distance relationship and thats okay...you're young and relationships are about having fun and finding the right person, you're not there yet. I don't think you should purge and tell all to the bf, but you need to be honest with yourself.
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Old 07-13-2010, 04:02 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,435 posts, read 1,277,822 times
Reputation: 2186
What you did was cheating.
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Old 07-13-2010, 04:36 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,433,582 times
Reputation: 2106
Long distance relationships suck. What's the point of them? Obviously your LD Relationship isn't meeting your needs for companionship.

Unless the long-distance thing is a very temporary thing, I'd cut your boyfriend loose.
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:47 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,789 posts, read 2,572,562 times
Reputation: 3223
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
would it be an immediate deal-breaker? I just spoke about this with two female friends at work and both told me it was not worth getting worked on and not to mentioned a single word about it to my long distance b/f.

I'm going to briefly state what happened on Saturday (well it was a bit more than 2 am). It was a whole day of sleep over at this co-worker's house. Approximately 25-30 people arrived and so did my guy friend (who I secretly have a crush on from months ago since February). This is the same guy I mentioned on a previous post, the one who would throw papers at me and I would flirt back. Let's call me P.

Anyways to make this story short, both me and P were drunk. We headed towards the balcony and started dancing (the type of dance where it involves some touching and rubbing.. dirty dance I would call it). We started talking and afterwards sat on a bench. I was sitting on his lap and there was some touching (caressing) but it never got to kissing nor further.

There were several times a kissing would have probably taken place if he were to initiate it but he didn't. This is what I'm starting to question... what if he had kiss me (our faces were close when dancing). Part of me says I would have told him ''I can't.. I got a boyfriend'' but another part says what if my inhibitions would have decrease a bit more. At one time I recalled telling him ''What would it have been if I would have met you instead of my boyfriend''? In the end, I would have back off.

Ok so technically I didn't cheated but it seemed like a close call... barely passing from crossing the line (similar towards passing an exam with a C-).

Or did I failed it (since some people would have probably consider this crossing the line already)?

How would any of you react if your SO did this (either they told you about it or you found out)? Would you tell if you did this?

I have decided not to mentioned a word about this and simply have better judgment. It takes me a long while to get drunk but did that day...

Its called cheating....and yes you did....so tell your bf see he can make decision to stay with you or not...or dont tell him and dont get mad if ever cheats on you..
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:52 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 1,597,700 times
Reputation: 616
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepgirl27 View Post
Its called cheating....and yes you did....so tell your bf see he can make decision to stay with you or not...or dont tell him and dont get mad if ever cheats on you..
I'm not going to tell him. If he did the same thing, I wouldn't want to know about it either.
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Old 07-13-2010, 11:36 AM
 
Location: southwest TN
6,776 posts, read 7,565,688 times
Reputation: 10939
Sex is not what is the arbiter of whether there is a relationship - same thing with cheating. So you didn't have sex with the guy - you did worse - you had romance and cuddling. You cheated. You cheated the moment you acted on your feelings of having a crush. When you took it past the flirting and into "almost kissing".

So now you have to decide whether you are really committed to your relationship with your bf or whether your feelings for your crush and the proximity to him will grow. Far better to end your long distance relationship while it is based on what is/is not happening within that relationship rather than to end it when there is more involvement with a third party. Be fair - your feelings towards your long distance bf are not strong enough to keep you from "falling in love" with another.
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Old 07-13-2010, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Ca2Mo2Ga2Va!
2,297 posts, read 4,071,671 times
Reputation: 983
I think you crossed the line and aren't very trustworthy...imo
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Old 07-13-2010, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,249 posts, read 57,435,689 times
Reputation: 38527
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
This isn't usually my normal state of mind. I realized now how some people can cross the line while drunk (now that I hardly pass). It starts making you do/say things you wouldn't ever dream of if sober.
Nevertheless I still love my boyfriend. However, I got to admit that if the tables were turned around, yes it would upset me.

Cry me a river

Blaming the alcohol is like blaming the gun for killing - PEOPLE have to pull that trigger and PEOPLE chose to drink to excess.


YouTube - Jamie Foxx-Blame It (On the Alcohol) Lyrics + Song (re-done) + Dowload Link
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