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Old 07-16-2010, 06:56 AM
 
Location: East Coast
2,293 posts, read 2,039,830 times
Reputation: 2810
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Yep it's happening out there. I've heard a number of stories in recent times about this going down. Someone a few days ago I saw posted a news story in the P&C forum about one guy in Michigan they were threatening to put in jail over child support for a child that was not his.
Is this the story?

He has a DNA test to prove it's not his son, but still has to pay child support

Quote:
Dorothy Hoose is Harperís former girl friend and the biological mom to a young man, Thomas Matero, who was born in 1988. When Hoose signed up for state aid she gave Harperís name as the father and that was it. The state considers Matero Harperís son.


ďI donít think itís right, not at all, not one bit because heís not the father. Heís not. I thought he was, but heís not,Ē says Hoose.


All this went down when Harper was behind bars. When he got out in 2003 the state said if Harper could prove he wasnít the father, he would be free and clear. But Harper didnít have the $500 at the time for a DNA test. He had the test done years later.


But none of this matters to the state. The law gives a limited window for a paternity test to be done. Harper was too late.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:18 AM
 
9,692 posts, read 11,450,396 times
Reputation: 7024
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Before you marry them, I suppose! After, they have more reason to hate men. I've certainly seen this. They often have a love/hate relationship with their ex. He was their first love and sperm donor to their "perfect" children. However, he left them or didn't prove to be responsible. Now all men are suspect and to blame for this.

The poor second husband doesn't stand a chance and will usually find himself locked in to this unhappy situation. Her ex had nothing to lose, but he does.
Well I wouldn't throw them all into that same basket.

But yes no question some of them turn into wolverines. They allowed people to do stuff to them, now it's payback on anyone that comes along.

I think with the OP, I smell a lot of desperation. She probably knows with a child and getting older her desirability goes down. And in some ways it does, but in other ways off loading your child and playing the desperate card usually puts you into the irresponsible behavior zone again with a repeat of more dodgy behavior, and that only hastens the decline.

A lot of it I think boils down to maturity. 18-25 is a bad time. Everyone at that age thinks they know it all and all the hormones and chemicals are pumping. Only later in life they might have some perspective, maybe not, but I probably wouldn't want to date a single mother in that age group.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:19 AM
 
9,692 posts, read 11,450,396 times
Reputation: 7024
Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraGirl123 View Post
Yep that's the one.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:29 AM
 
14 posts, read 20,338 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Are you serious. Why do you think a little girl wouldnt be ok with her dad. They are both the childs parent. What about little boys living with their mothers?

She stated he is a good father and is active his daughters life. I just hate the mind set that only a mother can love and care for children. Fathers are just as capable. I dont understand why anyone wants to make the OP feel bad if she believes her daughter would be happier living with her father.
Sure there are fathers that are a MILLION times better parents that the mother, I will give you that. Me in my PERSONAL opinion, i can't imagine myself being primarily raised by my father, even though he is a wonderful man.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:56 AM
 
40 posts, read 6,454 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswee View Post
No offence but your mother is being an a-hole, my grandmother was the same way, AND my mother.... that is just such a horrible thing to put in someones head!!!

You are SOOOOO not doomed!

Some of the happiest couples/families I know are two single parents that got together, or someone who fell in love with a single mom or a pregnant woman.

In fact you weed out the selfish and materialistic guys, because the real men want to step up and help you and be a man.

Chin up and happy hunting, you will do fine!
So single men (who have never married and never had kids), who do not step up and help her are selfish and materialistic, and are not real men?

Last edited by nkiller231; 07-16-2010 at 12:05 PM..
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Old 07-16-2010, 01:25 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,230,865 times
Reputation: 1768
dont fall for that old mess...women telling men how to be men...when's the last time you heard a woman ask a man what it means to be a woman?...extactly..the stone age.

Men like what they like, and most disfavor single mothers and their children.
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:06 PM
 
12,374 posts, read 7,611,549 times
Reputation: 4538
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswee View Post

In fact you weed out the selfish and materialistic guys, because the real men want to step up and help you and be a man.
Hi misswee,

I am going to have to go ahead and agree with some of the other comments. This attitude moves the needle from oops I made a mistake to bar skank entitlement. It does not go from the back of the sedan to the sedan chair. Tanned and oiled muscles will not weed in like kudzu around your yoke.

Lose the entitlement complex, otherwise its not a mistake but character manifest.
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Duh mountains
484 posts, read 151,676 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
And pray she doesn't come after you 8 months later for child support. I would never recommend the ole "hit it and quit it" school of thought.
Who said I would ...uh.. make a deposit? Plenty of ways to avoid entanglements and complications.
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:14 PM
 
40 posts, read 6,454 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire View Post
dont fall for that old mess...women telling men how to be men...when's the last time you heard a woman ask a man what it means to be a woman?...extactly..the stone age.

Men like what they like, and most disfavor single mothers and their children.

I'm not falling for that. I just find the sense of self-entitlement extremely disturbing.

Just because men (who have never married and never had kids), do not step up and help her, they are labelled selfish and materialistic and are not real men?

No man owes anyone a living, single moms or not. A man is not ethically, morally or legally obliged to "help" a single mom out.

Consider Male A : Young, tall, work on fitness, worked hard to put himself through grad school, has a good job, makes a good living, no baggage, never married, no kids

While there is a possibility a single mom might get Male A to date her, it is unlikely as Male A has many other choices. The single mom then starts to label all men as narrow-minded and not being real men just because she is single mom.

My point is, one has to be realistic and adjust your expectations accordingly.

My profile is basically similar to Male A. I am in a relationship now but if I were single and looking, I would not date single moms. I make NO apologies for having such standards.

There are many single women out there who would not date single dads, so it works both ways. Are they not real women, selfish and materialistic??
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Duh mountains
484 posts, read 151,676 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelk316 View Post
I recently broke up with my boyfriend with whom I had a child with.
My mother was lecturing me today and she basically said that I am tarnished and no good men would want me so I should never date again.
But mostly I fear having men around my daughter which is the reason i am going let her father have custody of her.
Now i feel im going to be alone for the rest of my life.

What do you guys think about single mothers and dating.
Single mothers often use phrases like my kids come first. I've read and heard that enough to know single mothers are only good for a booty call, and often not even that. I don't take them seriously.
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