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Let's take a look at some of the negative qualities you listed. Moodiness, financial irresponsibility, being cold and distant, etc. Are these exclusive to single moms? No. There are plenty of childless women out there who have these same traits. Suppose you met one, started dating her, then discovered all this about her? Would it cause you to be reluctant to date any other childless woman? Of course not. Because you'd know that these qualities have nothing to do with whether a woman is childless. But in the case of this woman you dated, you seem to be unable to separate her negative qualities from the fact that she's a mother. Pretend for a moment that she didn't have a kid. Then it should become clear the real reasons you broke it off with her.
I dated a lawyer who was also a workaholic. I could've done what you did and conclude that all lawyers are likely to be workaholics and avoid dating any other lawyers. But I didn't do that because I don't believe in making generalizations about groups based on one bad experience. Not all lawyers are workaholics and not all workaholics are lawyers.
How many thousands of posts on this beaten-to-death subject can possibly make you understand that people don't necessarily have a problem with the character of the mother but with the logistics of the situation?! God, this is sickening! OCD doesn't even begin to describe it!
How many thousands of posts on this beaten-to-death subject can possibly make you understand that people don't necessarily have a problem with the character of the mother but with the logistics of the situation?! God, this is sickening! OCD doesn't even begin to describe it!
No, I'll tell you what's sickening. It's when someone doesn't even bother reading before replying. Why don't you go back and look at the other person's posts. He's describing issues with her character, not simply the logistics of dating a single mother. Oh and if you have a problem with a topic being beaten-to-death, then the answer is simple. DON'T READ IT!!! Maybe you're the one with OCD if you have to go around telling others to stop discussing a topic.
I am in my early 30's and have dated several single mothers but never got too serious. I am no longer dating as I am now engaged to the mother of my child who had no children when we met. I don't think that single mothers are gold diggers persee, but they are usually seeking out guys who they see longer term relationship potential in. You know someone who has his own home, a nice car, makes a nice income, is not dating multiple women, etc. It's important not to sugar coat the single mom thing. Only 15 percent of these women are single moms because of a divorce. The overwelming majority of these women were never married to the men that they had a child with. 27 percent of single mothers and there children live in poverty and on average earn far less than single women there same age without children.
I find that the men who most of these women are seeking out now are entirely different than the kind of men that they were attracted to before and probably still attracted to. But these single moms now see that having relationships with those kind of men will lead nowhere and harm there child's future. So these women seek out more stable guys who are able to deal with the responsiblity of being with women who already have children, and in many cases these single moms are also seeking out potential father figures for there children. Most men who end up with a single mom and eventually marrying a single mom are the kind of men who would have never had a shot at those women before they had kids. These tend to be the more i guess you could say normal, goal oriented, hard working guys who may also have a few less desirable social qualities like being a little nerdy, introverted, being a bit socially insecure, have a hard time approaching young attractive women, etc. Single moms in alot of cases sacrifice also and settle for men that they may not be that attracted to, but who possess all the great qualities for taking care of a family. That being said from what I have seen single moms tend to make good long term partners and usually are willing to give a nice guy a shot for once.
Last edited by allen2323; 12-06-2010 at 12:50 PM..
I find that the men who most of these women are seeking out now are entirely different than the kind of men that they were attracted to before and probably still attracted to. But these single moms now see that having relationships with those kind of men will lead nowhere and harm there child's future. So these women seek out more stable guys who are able to deal with the responsiblity of being with women who already have children, and in many cases these single moms are also seeking out potential father figures for there children. Most men who end up with a single mom and eventually marrying a single mom are the kind of men who would have never had a shot at those women before they had kids. These tend to be the more i guess you could say normal, goal oriented, hard working guys who may also have a few less desirable social qualities like being a little nerdy, introverted, being a bit socially insecure, have a hard time approaching young attractive women, etc. Single moms in alot of cases sacrifice also and settle for men that they may not be that attracted to, but who possess all the great qualities for taking care of a family. That being said from what I have seen single moms tend to make good long term partners and usually are willing to give a nice guy a shot for once.
Very good analysis.
That's why nice guys shouldn't date single moms. Those women would've never considered nice guys when they didn't have kids. Now that they're in a bad situation, they began to realize that going out with *******s aren't worth it anymore.
It's her fault that she got pregnant by an *******. I'm not going to help her clean out her own mess.
That's why nice guys shouldn't date single moms. Those women would've never considered nice guys when they didn't have kids. Now that they're in a bad situation, they began to realize that going out with *******s aren't worth it anymore.
It's her fault that she got pregnant by an *******. I'm not going to help her clean out her own mess.
As harsh as this sounds, you make a very good point.
Most men who end up with a single mom and eventually marrying a single mom are the kind of men who would have never had a shot at those women before they had kids.
In my case, I knew she was not marriage material and two, she was average, who I could had gotten in HS or college. I do not plan to get married, but I do want a long term relationship. As I gotten to experience her life more, I knew we were complete polar opposites.
I have dated more attractive ones, however, believe it or not, it was her personality and survival that won me over. If she did not change and act like the wicked witch of the west, we may have still been together. I assure you, it was not me who changed. And the people who knew we were dating also agreed that I did just about everything to make it work. She gave up, not me. But, you know what, I learned an important lesson. I will always be # 3 or # 4 with a single mother. # 1 is the child. # 2 is the ex, # 3 is her family. # 4 might be me. Therefore, I will not put myself in that situation again.
I will always be # 3 or # 4 with a single mother. # 1 is the child. # 2 is the ex, # 3 is her family. # 4 might be me. Therefore, I will not put myself in that situation again.
That's a bit optimistic... She probably has animals, too. Oh, OK, you did say "might."
I recently broke up with my boyfriend with whom I had a child with.
My mother was lecturing me today and she basically said that I am tarnished and no good men would want me so I should never date again.
But mostly I fear having men around my daughter which is the reason i am going let her father have custody of her.
Now i feel im going to be alone for the rest of my life.
What do you guys think about single mothers and dating.
I am going to speak for myself. I have dated a women with kids. I don't have kids at all. The relationship was good in the beginning and it ended that she dump me because she led me on. Alot of mens would date women with kids, however men don't want the women to be all about using for his money or stuff. Also the mens want the women to make sure that whatever is between her and her husband is square away in which it doesn't be trouble. Don't give up but also realize that you got to be honest with him and all and not be around the bush. What you got to do is Fix yourself up to attract the man you want. Be prepare when you tell him, he is going to have alittle cautious feeling about taking the challenge of being in a relationship with you and your children.
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God, this is sickening! OCD doesn't even begin to describe it!
