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Old 07-17-2010, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,697,018 times
Reputation: 14495

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Quote:
Originally Posted by email_lover View Post
A male relative of mine is 51 years old and recently divorced. He is quite attractive and financially successful. He THINKS he looks 40. (Isn't funny that most men think they look so much younger than they really are?)

Anyway, he decided to look for love in the personal ads and has put in an ad. He is getting quite a bit of replies from women in their 50s. He looks at their pictures and is shocked. He keeps saying, "she looks so old!!" (Actually they look about as old as he does, but he does not see this!) He said no successful young looking 51 year old man wants to date the typical woman who is in the personal ads over the age of 50. He said the 50-60 year old replying to his ad could be seen as very attractive if they were your long term wife and you grew old together, but as a new person in the dating world she seems just old and unattractive.

My male relative is looking at woman mostly from 35-45 and thinks he will find love with a younger woman. What do you think?
Reminds me of when my dad moved into the senior apartment complex. He kept complaining that all the women there were old. He had 10 years on most of them, lol.

What do I think? Tell him to put a picture of a 35 year old next to his picture and ask him if he looks like her dad. He'll have better luck in the 45-55 year range but my real guess is he doesn't want to date. An easy way to avoid what you don't want to do is to set really high expectations and not settle for less. If he keeps going after 35-45 year olds, he'll likely sit home a lot which may be what he wants to do.

Also, I'm 12 years younger than my husband who was 50 when our youngest was born. He might want to watch how young he goes....

 
Old 07-18-2010, 06:11 AM
 
154 posts, read 445,779 times
Reputation: 110
Because historically men are older than woman in second and third marriages men feel they have the OK from society to date a woman 10-15 years younger than they are. I still say that a good looking white 51 year old white collar professional man, who takes care of himself, GENERALLY looks alot better than most woman who do everything they can to look young. Middle aged woman can look good but most of the time look old by age 50 and their wrinkles and sags are more noticeable.
 
Old 07-18-2010, 06:53 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,457 posts, read 16,404,322 times
Reputation: 13154
Quote:
Originally Posted by email_lover View Post
Because historically men are older than woman in second and third marriages men feel they have the OK from society to date a woman 10-15 years younger than they are. I still say that a good looking white 51 year old white collar professional man, who takes care of himself, GENERALLY looks alot better than most woman who do everything they can to look young. Middle aged woman can look good but most of the time look old by age 50 and their wrinkles and sags are more noticeable.
You're a real charmer, ain't ya. So tell your relative to go chase the 35 yo since that's what you all want anyway. Obviously, to you, women in their 50's are not dateable, so why did you ask?
 
Old 07-18-2010, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,697,018 times
Reputation: 14495
Quote:
Originally Posted by email_lover View Post
Because historically men are older than woman in second and third marriages men feel they have the OK from society to date a woman 10-15 years younger than they are. I still say that a good looking white 51 year old white collar professional man, who takes care of himself, GENERALLY looks alot better than most woman who do everything they can to look young. Middle aged woman can look good but most of the time look old by age 50 and their wrinkles and sags are more noticeable.
At this age, it makes little sense to be about looks. You'd think men would outgrow being so shallow.

Women need to remember that the greater the gap in age between her and her man, the more time she'll spend at the end of her life alone. Unfortunately, men do not want to date women over 50. They just don't. Younger women beware. If he's older than you, you're going to end up that over 50 woman who no one wants to date.

Women have good reason to avoid dating men older than them. Unfortunately, age differences don't become noticeable until men hit about their 50's. I swear my husband was 12 years older than me when we got married but some days it feels like more like 20 years now. When I'm 59, he'll be 71. Unfortunately, I, very likely, signed myself up for a long, lonely, widowhood.

Women should be finding younger men so that they have more time with their partners. We have this backwards.

Actually, I see the opposite. I see men letting themselves go more than women. Most women I know in their 50's still look pretty good. Most men, we're talking pot belly, wrinkles and out of shape. I see they're now making wrinkle creams for men. Maybe that will help.
 
Old 07-18-2010, 07:17 AM
 
23,903 posts, read 31,123,865 times
Reputation: 28539
Quote:
Originally Posted by email_lover View Post
Because historically men are older than woman in second and third marriages men feel they have the OK from society to date a woman 10-15 years younger than they are. I still say that a good looking white 51 year old white collar professional man, who takes care of himself, GENERALLY looks alot better than most woman who do everything they can to look young. Middle aged woman can look good but most of the time look old by age 50 and their wrinkles and sags are more noticeable.
Not so. These days, older women are FAR more likely to be hitting the gym and taking such good care of themselves, that they are putting the potbellied pony-tailed 50-yr old men to shame. You have a lot of growing to do.
 
Old 07-18-2010, 08:50 AM
 
8,792 posts, read 9,617,809 times
Reputation: 6682
IMO A 50 year old guy has more choices looking for a 50 year old woman. Thats what the early stages of dating is about isn't it? having more choices. Of course a financially well off 50 year old will think he is all that if he is looking at 35 year olds. Women in their 50's maybe financially well off too, or at least more so than a 35 year old. I'm speaking from purely personal bias here, but my advice to a 50ish man who thinks he's landed a young babe is, "fools rush in where angels fear to tread"
 
Old 07-18-2010, 09:22 AM
 
8,792 posts, read 9,617,809 times
Reputation: 6682
Twenty years or so ago I had a troubled female youth tell me "If I haven't fallen in love by the time I am 40, I'm going to marry an old rich guy." The term rich is relative to her station in life but the fact remains its an ace in the hole for her.

Last edited by thriftylefty; 07-18-2010 at 10:08 AM..
 
Old 07-18-2010, 11:03 AM
 
8,792 posts, read 9,617,809 times
Reputation: 6682
Its too bad those little blue pills; don't put hair on your head, teeth in your mouth, and take inches off your waist.....dam
 
Old 07-18-2010, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,321,130 times
Reputation: 3045
Quote:
Originally Posted by email_lover View Post
A male relative of mine is 51 years old and recently divorced...My male relative is looking at woman mostly from 35-45 and thinks he will find love with a younger woman. What do you think?
I think that:
1. Yes, women in their 50's may be desirable for dating.
2. As this data from dating site okcupid reveal, men in their 50's will often look for women who are in their 30's and 40's. And the odds are pretty good that they will find someone. Numerous women seek older men becasue, frankly, far too many young men are selfish and immature.

The real problem with age differences in dating seems to be among younger men -- in their 20's/early 30's -- who focus their attention almost exclusively on younger gals. This is likely because these young men dwell too much on a youthful physical appearance (a dating objective which, if pursued too much, is itself a sign of immaturity and inexperience). As it turns out, those men (especially younger men) who dwell exclusively on younger women are putting themselves at the worst odds.

Far too many people get much too hung up on looks and age -- it is ATTITUDE (i.e. having a positive attitude that is good, giving, and game) that matters infinitely more.

Last edited by professorsenator; 07-18-2010 at 11:14 AM..
 
Old 07-18-2010, 11:20 AM
 
9,834 posts, read 5,715,842 times
Reputation: 9736
Quote:
Originally Posted by professorsenator View Post
I think that:
1. Yes, women in their 50's may be desirable for dating.
2. As this data from dating site okcupid reveal, men in their 50's will often look for women who are in their 30's and 40's. And the odds are pretty good that they will find someone. Numerous women seek older men becasue, frankly, far too many young men are selfish and immature.
Men in their 30s and 40s are not young. Women that age looking for 50+ men are seeking money, or they can't get guys their own age.
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