How women view the second or third date (love, attracted, younger)

[JSizzle225]

Well....my sister just spilled the beans:

Date #1--looking to make you spend as much money as possible.

Date #2--Making you spend more money...and then going back to your place to case your joint.

Date #3--This is where things get sinister. More money being spent. Going back to your place. From there they will have the sex with you. When you are asleep they will steal your identity. Then they will marry and divorce you and take 31% of your stuff and you will cry.


Run run away from women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wanderlust76]

Originally Posted by Ep-

women on dating sites can line up pretty much unlimited dates a whole lot easier then they can in real life. log on after work while watching tv and have dozens of msgs just sitting there from d00ds wanting a date. i know some girls that just use sites to serial date over and over because they never meet "that perfect guy"

This is my experience and what I have heard as well. From what I understand women using an online dating site like match or p.o.f. can like up like 5 first dates a week easily...men are just sort of a number to them and there's no incentive to actually take the time to get to know someone.

[wanderlust76]

Originally Posted by professorsenator

I think miu is essentially correct here. I would add, too, that as one becomes clearer about what they want and what they don't want, it becomes easier to say "next candidate, please." One could have a very pleasant date with someone, but if neither party sees it meeting thier objectives then a second date is not in the cards.

I think the sex-on-the-third date thing stems from this logic. If you're willing to go on a second date w/ a person, it clearly means that you found something attractive during the first. And after two dates, if you still like them and are willing to go out again, then the chances are high that there's a pretty good groove on. For many people, that it enough for sex.

Indeed, lots of folks would rather have sex sooner rather than later -- if the sex is bad or you're incompatible in the bedroom, then there's no point going further and getting more emotionally attached. Plenty of people s1ut their way into a relationship and, truth be told, it can be a pretty good strategy in finding a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Obviously, of course, others want to wait. To each their own.

I agree this is how a lot of people approach dating...I think it's sad and just disagree adamantly with it. Sure looks matter and other basic things but once you start nit-picking too much you're probably going to end up writing off a lot of great people too soon...that's pretty much what serial daters do and the people that go on one date with someone then poof. It takes time to truly get to know someone. Also there is no rulebook on sex - plenty of people like to wait on that for down the road when there's more of an emotional connection.. or they at least have no problem with it or are open to waiting.

[professorsenator]

Originally Posted by wanderlust76

plenty of people like to wait on that for down the road when there's more of an emotional connection.. or they at least have no problem with it or are open to waiting.

That's undoubtedly true, and if works for them then that's great.

But what if two people honestly and truly have high libidos and like to get their inner kink going? Neither one of them wants to wait becasue that's not who either one of them is. In fact, such folks shouldn't wait, and if one party is a "not yet, I want to wait" kind of person then this sends a signal to the other person that the two of them are not incompatible.

The fact is that waiting to have sex works if both parties want to, and are willing to, wait, and if waiting is something that they both find value in. This, in and of itself, is a matter of compatibility. Some people are simply NOT "wait" kind of folks. And, therefore, they shouldn't wait.

[BigCur]

Originally Posted by Backliteyes

Good observation. Funny, since without it they wouldn't have had that date at all. Better to step up to bat and strike out than never get a chance.

Yea, rejection makes you feel so good and is a real boost to your mental well-being.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by Ep-

women on dating sites can line up pretty much unlimited dates a whole lot easier then they can in real life. log on after work while watching tv and have dozens of msgs just sitting there from d00ds wanting a date. i know some girls that just use sites to serial date over and over because they never meet "that perfect guy"

This has more to do with the person than it does with online dating per se. The women who serial date until they meet the perfect guy would probably do that even if they weren't meeting men online. But because online dating broadens the number of men they can meet, it ends up being a magnet for these kinds of women. But that still doesn't mean all the women on there are like this.

[SamuelBrock77]

oh man, i dont even know what to say. is this a put on? oh man... boy oh boy, jeez. you must not get out much. oh man, i cant believe it.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by JSizzle225

Well....my sister just spilled the beans:

Date #1--looking to make you spend as much money as possible.

Date #2--Making you spend more money...and then going back to your place to case your joint.

Date #3--This is where things get sinister. More money being spent. Going back to your place. From there they will have the sex with you. When you are asleep they will steal your identity. Then they will marry and divorce you and take 31% of your stuff and you will cry.


Run run away from women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You forgot the part where we make you run the obstacle course, perform feats of strength, and then solve complicated logic puzzles. Chicks dig testing men, after all.

[TaoistDude]

There have been plenty of women who didn't want a second or third date with me, and conversely, there have been plenty of women I didn't want to see again for a second or subsequent date.

It's very simple - we weren't sufficiently compatible in some way that mattered to one or both of us.

Next!

[miu]

Originally Posted by wanderlust76

This is my experience and what I have heard as well. From what I understand women using an online dating site like match or p.o.f. can like up like 5 first dates a week easily...men are just sort of a number to them and there's no incentive to actually take the time to get to know someone.

Well... of the women you have dated off of these sites, how would you grade them? Are they above average in looks compared to the single women around you in your normal social and work circles? Or are they average looking women like the women in your life, but just that they are single and actively looking for a boyfriend?

Another thought is that these women on the dating sites are looking for a boyfriend that is more special than the men they normally encounter in their own lives. So if you go on these first dates with them, and you don't come across as being a better catch than what they already have access to, then they just aren't going to pursue a relationship with you. I think that you've described yourself as an average looking nice guy, but that isn't going to cut it with these online dates.

When you are going through these online profiles, what motivates you to contact these women? What is your criteria for picking out the ones you ask out to date? Do you weed out the ones that aren't skinny? What about the plain Janes, do you ask any of them out? Or do you gravitate towards the prettiest ones? Maybe you are trying to date out of your league with these women, but you are persistent enough that they will allow you one date with them.