Need a Male Perspective - Relationship Issue (dating, wife, girlfriend)

[beckyboo71]

I am just curious. I have been dating this guy on and off for about 1 year now (he's 42 and I am 39) and he recently contacted me after about 6 weeks after we split up. He sends me a text message at 1:30 a.m. and asks "Where are you". The conversation starts off good and then he starts saying he was seeing this 27 yo bartender for about a month and it didn't work out because he had to wait til after 2 a.m. to see her. Then proceeds to tell me he was out on a date with this 25 yo. a few nights ago. He asks me if I want to see him and I tell him it is probably not a good idea (as he constantly tells me all these young girls he sleeps with) as I am tired of playing his stupid games. He then tells me I know he is the man of my dreams and would marry him if he asked me. I tell him again probably not a good idea and he says ok this is the second time I've turned him down. I send him a text of "good nite" and he says "It could have been". He then sends me a text message at 12:40 a.m. the following day to tell me sorry that he didn't get back to me that his girlfriend came home. WTF. Why does he do this stupid s*it. Like I said he's 42 5'10 about 220 lbs and he's not drop dead gorgeous. My friends constantly ask what the hell I see in him and to be honest I couldn't tell you. But I don't understand why he has to lie about it. Does he think it makes me jealous, cause it doesn't or that it will make me want to run and be with him? As he should know by now it just pushes me away. Oh and btw he only seems to date girls under 30.

Any input guys of what he is really thinking?

[2RUGGED4YOU]

Originally Posted by beckyboo71

I am just curious. I have been dating this guy on and off for about 1 year now (he's 42 and I am 39) and he recently contacted me after about 6 weeks after we split up. He sends me a text message at 1:30 a.m. and asks "Where are you". The conversation starts off good and then he starts saying he was seeing this 27 yo bartender for about a month and it didn't work out because he had to wait til after 2 a.m. to see her. Then proceeds to tell me he was out on a date with this 25 yo. a few nights ago. He asks me if I want to see him and I tell him it is probably not a good idea (as he constantly tells me all these young girls he sleeps with) as I am tired of playing his stupid games. He then tells me I know he is the man of my dreams and would marry him if he asked me. I tell him again probably not a good idea and he says ok this is the second time I've turned him down. I send him a text of "good nite" and he says "It could have been". He then sends me a text message at 12:40 a.m. the following day to tell me sorry that he didn't get back to me that his girlfriend came home. WTF. Why does he do this stupid s*it. Like I said he's 42 5'10 about 220 lbs and he's not drop dead gorgeous. My friends constantly ask what the hell I see in him and to be honest I couldn't tell you. But I don't understand why he has to lie about it. Does he think it makes me jealous, cause it doesn't or that it will make me want to run and be with him? As he should know by now it just pushes me away. Oh and btw he only seems to date girls under 30.

Any input guys of what he is really thinking?

He wants his youngins for sex and you for a relationship. I'd put a Wolverine Durashock in his arse and send him on his way!LOL.......

[SeattleCat]

Yeah, I would block his phone number and have no more contact with this guy. He is using you.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by beckyboo71

I am just curious. I have been dating this guy on and off for about 1 year now (he's 42 and I am 39) and he recently contacted me after about 6 weeks after we split up. He sends me a text message at 1:30 a.m. and asks "Where are you". The conversation starts off good and then he starts saying he was seeing this 27 yo bartender for about a month and it didn't work out because he had to wait til after 2 a.m. to see her. Then proceeds to tell me he was out on a date with this 25 yo. a few nights ago. He asks me if I want to see him and I tell him it is probably not a good idea (as he constantly tells me all these young girls he sleeps with) as I am tired of playing his stupid games. He then tells me I know he is the man of my dreams and would marry him if he asked me. I tell him again probably not a good idea and he says ok this is the second time I've turned him down. I send him a text of "good nite" and he says "It could have been". He then sends me a text message at 12:40 a.m. the following day to tell me sorry that he didn't get back to me that his girlfriend came home. WTF. Why does he do this stupid s*it. Like I said he's 42 5'10 about 220 lbs and he's not drop dead gorgeous. My friends constantly ask what the hell I see in him and to be honest I couldn't tell you. But I don't understand why he has to lie about it. Does he think it makes me jealous, cause it doesn't or that it will make me want to run and be with him? As he should know by now it just pushes me away. Oh and btw he only seems to date girls under 30.

Any input guys of what he is really thinking?

I'm a girl, but will answer anyway.....

With behaviour like that who cares what he is thinking?

[beckyboo71]

lol - but the thing is, I don't beleive he's got all these "younger" girls at his beckoning call like he says he does and I definately don't believe he's having sex with them either. This is terrible but he once told me that this really "hot" girl wanted to date him and I know this is bad but I read the text message that he sent to her while we weren't together that said "I really like you and think you are a sweetheart and I wouldn't never do anything to jeopardize your job, I just hoped you would go on a date with me". Then he told me later that it didn't work out because she was too much like his ex-wife. LOL.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by beckyboo71

lol - but the thing is, I don't beleive he's got all these "younger" girls at his beckoning call like he says he does and I definately don't believe he's having sex with them either. This is terrible but he once told me that this really "hot" girl wanted to date him and I know this is bad but I read the text message that he sent to her while we weren't together that said "I really like you and think you are a sweetheart and I wouldn't never do anything to jeopardize your job, I just hoped you would go on a date with me". Then he told me later that it didn't work out because she was too much like his ex-wife. LOL.

More reason not to go out with him.

[wilmingtonangel]

A 1:30am text message probably means he wanted a "booty call". I wouldn't waste any more time on him - he is obviously playing games.

[Huckleberry3911948]

he is looking for some free sex and attention give him neither. the more important issue is why are you attracted to such men. figure that out and he will disappear.

[2RUGGED4YOU]

YouTube - Get Over It Eagles

[415_s2k]

Sure, simple.

1. He's probably full of crap.

2. He's almost certainly full of crap.

3. If he could be any less full of crap, he'd still be ten pounds of crap in a five-pound bag.

4. The only reason that one would message an ex to tell them how awesome their current/last SO was is because they're some sort of petty sadist who wants to make the person feel bad about themselves, or is so socially inept they think that the fact they've (allegedly) been in the sack with someone hotter than the person they're attacking would actually want them more based on their ability to attract someone more attractive.

I dunno about you, but when someone's trying to use me as a booty call, I want nothing more than to hear that they did someone way better than me in the meantime. That gets me as hot as a summer night in Nevada

5. One time was a kid, I was at the county fair and eating ice cream watching this bull, and it let rip right there. The pile of crap that resulted, relative to the level of truth of what this guy is saying, still doesn't broach the the magnitude of what this guy is telling you. And this pile of crap was epic, it gave me nightmares for weeks.

6. From the onset, he really thinks very highly of himself. The reality is that he probably knows that, as you said, he's in his early 40's and not the best looking dude out there and is horribly insecure about this. He can't take take the shame of not being what he'd like to be, and so he tries to make you want to come crawling back to him so he can feel like he's worth something.

7. Guaranteed, if he really did screw these girls, they're not calling him back because he's so crappy, and this (combined with #6) makes him feel really small. Five bucks says he turns on the shower, sits in the corner, and cries before he starts texting you with all his BS.

8. The reason he texted you again the next morning is because he needs to make himself feel like less of an epic failure than he knows he is, and he failed his way out of that one, too.

What a loser.