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After 25 years of devotion to my wife, the time finally came to end my marriage and move on. The love had died and "the thrill" had long since departed. We both knew the time was right. Our two children were adults and in college. This was exactly three years ago this July.
I now have a wonderful partner and soulmate; a lovely soft spoken woman with a gentle spirit. Our love and devotion is honest. Our relationship is beautiful. So what's the problem? She wants to marry and I don't.
After 25 years of marriage, I am convinced that there is no need to engage in that experience again. What for? We're in our 50's so it's not like we're gonna procreate. Our children are all adults and are either done or almost done with college.
My soulmate's fear is that without the union of marriage she may wind up on the short end some day. To her fears I responded that marriage guarantees nothing. As an example I pointed to my marriage which ended after 25 years. Therefore - I say to her - she will have to rely on my word, my love, and my dedication to her and to what we have built and continue to build together. Marriage. . .is not an option.
If you two marry, she will be able to collect your SS if you pass on. If you don't want that for her, offer some other tangible benefits.
Get a big life insurance policy and name her the beneficiary. Put her on the title to all houses & cars...She's looking for security in her old age, not a fight with your adult children.
for women I think sometimes marriage is the most romantic gesture a man can make. women love romance. if she is your 'soulmate" even if marriage is not important to you, why hold back something from your soulmate she finds important. talk IS cheap. telling her all day long she is your soulmate is not going to convince her. you sound pretty selfish about this one dude
If you two marry, she will be able to collect your SS if you pass on. If you don't want that for her, offer some other tangible benefits.
Get a big life insurance policy and name her the beneficiary. Put her on the title to all houses & cars...She's looking for security in her old age, not a fight with your adult children.
We also were divorced after long term marriages, and my partner was the one who didn't want to get married again. She couldn't see what purpose it would serve, but as we got older, the realization regarding the financial benefits became more important, especially health care. We considered a legal contract to be drawn up, but there are many ramifications to that avenue. We know many couples who are not married living together after a long term marriage, but their reasons in most cases, are purely financial.
You both need to be honest with your reasons for and against getting married again. If it is financial, with one having a lot more than the other, your option would be a pre-nup. My spouse didn't want to get married because she couldn't deal with the legal and long process of another divorce. She finally relented and we have been happily married for 12 years.
Don't really have any advice for you. Just wanted to say I can't imagine how two people can be together for 25 years before splitting. Either you're in love the entire time or your not. I think when we hear stories like this it's usually someone else involved and splitting is just an excuse to be with the new person. Just boggles the mind.
I've been with my wife for 33 years and married for 27. I can't imagine not being with her.
Don't really have any advice for you. Just wanted to say I can't imagine how two people can be together for 25 years before splitting. Either you're in love the entire time or your not. I think when we hear stories like this it's usually someone else involved and splitting is just an excuse to be with the new person. Just boggles the mind.
I've been with my wife for 33 years and married for 27. I can't imagine not being with her.
I admire the fact that you have had a long and happy marriage. Here are two scenarios, both unrelated to cheating:
Spouse becomes an alcoholic and is abusive to spouse and children.
Spouse ignores other spouse or their needs completely, insists everything be done their way, including type of employment. Refuses to allow any interference with raising the children.
Unfortunately the people we marry are not always forthright in who they are. They play a role until the ring is on your finger, or many times we are blind to reality. I have to admit, the second time around we are best friends and extremely happy. Too bad we didn't find each other the first time.
After 25 years of devotion to my wife, the time finally came to end my marriage and move on. The love had died and "the thrill" had long since departed. We both knew the time was right. Our two children were adults and in college. This was exactly three years ago this July.
I now have a wonderful partner and soulmate; a lovely soft spoken woman with a gentle spirit. Our love and devotion is honest. Our relationship is beautiful. So what's the problem? She wants to marry and I don't.
After 25 years of marriage, I am convinced that there is no need to engage in that experience again. What for? We're in our 50's so it's not like we're gonna procreate. Our children are all adults and are either done or almost done with college.
My soulmate's fear is that without the union of marriage she may wind up on the short end some day. To her fears I responded that marriage guarantees nothing. As an example I pointed to my marriage which ended after 25 years. Therefore - I say to her - she will have to rely on my word, my love, and my dedication to her and to what we have built and continue to build together. Marriage. . .is not an option.
How do I calm her fears?
Her "fears" are justified. Not so sure about yours
After 25 years of devotion to my wife, the time finally came to end my marriage and move on. The love had died and "the thrill" had long since departed. We both knew the time was right. Our two children were adults and in college. This was exactly three years ago this July.
I now have a wonderful partner and soulmate; a lovely soft spoken woman with a gentle spirit. Our love and devotion is honest. Our relationship is beautiful. So what's the problem? She wants to marry and I don't.
After 25 years of marriage, I am convinced that there is no need to engage in that experience again. What for? We're in our 50's so it's not like we're gonna procreate. Our children are all adults and are either done or almost done with college.
My soulmate's fear is that without the union of marriage she may wind up on the short end some day. To her fears I responded that marriage guarantees nothing. As an example I pointed to my marriage which ended after 25 years. Therefore - I say to her - she will have to rely on my word, my love, and my dedication to her and to what we have built and continue to build together. Marriage. . .is not an option.
How do I calm her fears?
"We're in our 50's so it's not like we're gonna procreate", lmao! That's wrong, but I get what you are saying though ...
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