Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-24-2010, 08:36 AM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,182,643 times
Reputation: 13485

Advertisements

This just shows my age I guess. When any of my ex bf's get married, it's always a bit of a shocker. Typically, a happy wow! So far 3 of my ex's that I'm friends with have gotten married. All three have gotten divorced as well. The marriages lasted about 1 year for each. One of them just married again. This one is more of a shocker. It really brings all the stats we're always discussing home. We're all in our 30s.

Any way, he's such a great guy and I'm happy for him. He got in touch with me when he divorced the last time and we had some great talks. They're a cute couple from what I can see on fb. They haven't been dating all that long, tho. Maybe just over a year. I'm hoping she's as chill as he is and that they'll be attending my end of summer BBQ.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-24-2010, 09:42 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,448,814 times
Reputation: 22752
Why do you care about what is going on in someone's life if you are no longer a part of it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 09:53 AM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,182,643 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Why do you care about what is going on in someone's life if you are no longer a part of it?
Well, I guess it comes down to having neurons that become excited when new information enters the brain. It's subsequently processed and a reaction, however small or large, results.

Again, it's one thing to discuss and read about stats on the net. It's even different when considering a parent's generation. Witnessing it in my own cohort brings it closer to home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 09:58 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,448,814 times
Reputation: 22752
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Well, I guess it comes down to having neurons that become excited when new information enters the brain. It's subsequently processed and a reaction, however small or large, results.

Again, it's one thing to discuss and read about stats on the net. It's even different when considering a parent's generation. Witnessing it in my own cohort brings it closer to home.
I guess I don't understand your point - "witnessing" WHAT? That people date each other but don't necessarily marry each other? That people feel left behind when someone they were hot over dumps them and then marries someone else? That people think it's fine to marry someone and then split up after a year?

Actually, the divorce rate has declined in the last decade, if that is what you are trying to make a point about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 09:59 AM
 
5,024 posts, read 8,891,134 times
Reputation: 5775
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Again, it's one thing to discuss and read about stats on the net. It's even different when considering a parent's generation. Witnessing it in my own cohort brings it closer to home.
I understand exactly what you mean. When my ex-husband got married less than a year after we got divorced, I was shocked and amazed how quickly he regrouped. I think men need women more than women need men, in my opinion.

I'm still not married, even though I'm with someone. I can only speak for myself when I say the failure of my marriages (one that lasted one year, the next that was 12 years) did something to my psyche.

The ex-husband is still married, to my knowledge. She can have him.

Last edited by cricket_factor; 07-24-2010 at 10:00 AM.. Reason: Clarification.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 10:07 AM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,182,643 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I guess I don't understand your point - "witnessing" WHAT? That people date each other but don't necessarily marry each other? That people feel left behind when someone they were hot over dumps them and then marries someone else? That people think it's fine to marry someone and then split up after a year?

Actually, the divorce rate has declined in the last decade, if that is what you are trying to make a point about.
First off, do me a favor and take whatever personal issues you have and shove them back up your sphincter. I have no use for them.

As far as the divorce rate declining in recent years, that's pretty much what I'm talking about. It's one thing to note this or that statistic as some intangible number a few horizons a way, it's another to take note of what's going on around us, which I haven't really done until today.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 10:16 AM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,182,643 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by cricket_factor View Post
I understand exactly what you mean. When my ex-husband got married less than a year after we got divorced, I was shocked and amazed how quickly he regrouped. I think men need women more than women need men, in my opinion.

I'm still not married, even though I'm with someone. I can only speak for myself when I say the failure of my marriages (one that lasted one year, the next that was 12 years) did something to my psyche.
Yea, that's at the heart of my shock as well, or at least partly. I was also wondering if it's easier to get married a second time. Or, if it was at least easier for him. I was happy when he met her because his divorce left him in a dark state. He did go on to some soul searching activities just before he met her, which was another shocker for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 10:24 AM
 
5,024 posts, read 8,891,134 times
Reputation: 5775
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Yea, that's at the heart of my shock as well, or at least partly. I was also wondering if it's easier to get married a second time. Or, if it was at least easier for him. I was happy when he met her because his divorce left him in a dark state. He did go on to some soul searching activities just before he met her, which was another shocker for me.
Yes, my ex-husband "got religion" for a spell and was attending one of those "mega churches" for awhile.

I personally don't think he needed to do that. If he had apologized for HIS behavior and what HE had said to me, we may have been able to mend fences and keep moving forward. He never apologized, ever.

It all turned out for the best, though. I'm glad I'm where I am today.

But man, he found a "replacement wife" right away!

(I understand the thread topic is "boyfriend" but the ex-husband was once a boyfriend, as well.)

Braunwyn, you hit a nerve here with me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 10:40 AM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,182,643 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by cricket_factor View Post
Yes, my ex-husband "got religion" for a spell and was attending one of those "mega churches" for awhile.
Most of my previous break ups included a full dive into my spirituality. I would give myself 3 weeks of dedicated grieving. I spent more time at my meditation center and I was always determined to find the good in it and grow lol. I think it's a survival mode. That's exactly how my ex sounded when we spoke just after his divorce. I was wowed. To be clear, he isn't and never was an ass. He's one of the jolliest guys I know with a smile that can knock your socks off and should be the last person on earth to emotionally suffer, imo. Even my dh thinks he's pretty awesome.

Quote:
I personally don't think he needed to do that. If he had apologized for HIS behavior and what HE had said to me, we may have been able to mend fences and keep moving forward. He never apologized, ever.

It all turned out for the best, though. I'm glad I'm where I am today.

But man, he found a "replacement wife" right away!

(I understand the thread topic is "boyfriend" but the ex-husband was once a boyfriend, as well.)

Braunwyn, you hit a nerve here with me.
Well, I started the thread for other people's experiences. Sorry your ex was an idiot. When ever a break up occurs both should be apologizing up front and center for any pain caused, imo.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2010, 10:50 AM
 
5,024 posts, read 8,891,134 times
Reputation: 5775
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Most of my previous break ups included a full dive into my spirituality. I would give myself 3 weeks of dedicated grieving. I spent more time at my meditation center and I was always determined to find the good in it and grow lol. I think it's a survival mode. That's exactly how my ex sounded when we spoke just after his divorce. I was wowed. To be clear, he isn't and never was an ass. He's one of the jolliest guys I know with a smile that can knock your socks off and should be the last person on earth to emotionally suffer, imo. Even my dh thinks he's pretty awesome.
Quote:
Well, I started the thread for other people's experiences. Sorry your ex was an idiot. When ever a break up occurs both should be apologizing up front and center for any pain caused, imo.
Thanks for caring - it's been several years now. I'm envious that you are still on good terms. Just some of those sentences leaped out at me. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Enough about me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:53 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top