Was my bad experience typical? (with Meetup group) (women, friend, couple)

[stars99]

Some months ago I decided to try a Meetup group in our area.

I arrived at the restaurant the group was supposed to meet at ontime. (I now realize that was a mistake). The organizer of the group was 45 minutes late, so I had to sit there and wait. (Even though she had emailed a set of stern rules to the group on protocol for emailing and texting her before the meeting, she could not be bothered to show up on time for the group). She and I sat down at a table and one other person arrived a few minutes later. Eventually a couple more people arrived about an hour later.
Everyone was at this meetup for the first time, except the organizer.

As it turned out, the group organizer has some kind of hearing problem. Which would have been okay (I have nothing against those with disabilities), but she chose a very loud restaurant with salsa music for the group to meet at. Consequently you almost had to shout for her to hear anything. I was hoarse by the end of the evening. She also speaks in a very faint voice so you had to strain to hear her. She also had nothing interesting to say, compared to the other people, but because of the way the tables were setup and the fact the she was the group leader, it wasn't possible to just leave her out of the conversation.
So, shouting and straining to hear for three hours.

Then, at the end of the group, the organizer revelead that she had come to the group on the bus and needed a ride home from somebody, because it was late.

Are all of these groups this pathetic? This was not what I was expecting at all, and I haven't been back to meetup again because of this experience. I don't know if I should give it another try.

[stepka]

No, I've only had good experiences from meetups. Why not try a different group with a different organizer? THis one was just a pain in the A.

[Curmudgeon]

We've had periodic meet-ups here in SW MO and they've always gone well, meeting for coffee or over pizza.

[stars99]

Thank you. Another question: In the future, is it considered rude to leave a meetup shortly after arriving if it sucks? The reason I was at this other terrible meetup for over 3 hours was because the the organizer (and then other attendees) were so late. Also, the organizer (when we were the only two people there) mentioned to me at the beginning that she needed a ride home at the end of the group, so I was kind of on the hook for that the whole time. In the end, though, someone else ended up giving her the ride though, because they were headed in the same direction.

[Curmudgeon]

Originally Posted by stars99

Thank you. Another question: In the future, is it considered rude to leave a meetup shortly after arriving if it sucks?

Perhaps a bit awkward or socially clumsy but it might be better than three miserable hours in company you don't enjoy. After all, you never have to see them again!

[JoanD'Arc]

I organized a meetup group and it lasted for one meeting. I planned everything out, including contacting the restaurant (where I had already been plenty of times) making up some talking points, making sure everyone knew where to go, etc., etc.
Four people eventually showed up, which I thought was a good start. I introduced myself and invited the others to take turns saying what they wanted. That turned into a BS session, with each person vying for the "floor" and complaining about their situations. Efforts on my part to get to the subject of the meeting were ignored. (I'm not a bad leader; I have done that many times.)
One guy even turned his attention to the TV in the room while he was waiting for another opportunity to commandeer the conversation!
In the end, one of the attendees asked if we could meet on the other side of town next time as it was closer for that person. One other person agreed, and I didn't see a problem with it.
I asked both of them to contact me with the name of a restaurant that would be convenient for them and I never heard from either one of them. Everyone had my email address so I can only assume they wanted to sit back and complain while leaving someone else to do all the leg work.
I never called another meeting and chalked it up to experience.

[stars99]

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Perhaps a bit awkward or socially clumsy but it might be better than three miserable hours in company you don't enjoy. After all, you never have to see them again!

Well, I didn't have a problem with the other people there, just with the organizer because you had to shout to have a conversation with her, and she never had anything interesting to say, just the babbleof an almost borderline retarded person (sorry, there is no nice way to describe it, she seemed mentally and socially "challenged" in addition to her hearing issues, as well as having no common sense about personal safety, seeking rides from strangers). So you can imagine what being stuck with such a person for 3+ hours was like. I felt like I had been through a meatgrinder by the time I left. She also implied that meetup was paying her to run these groups, and that she was running multiple groups, including one in Austin that Meetup paid her to fly to and run. I got the idea that she was only running these groups for the money.

I see from Joan Arc's post that it can work both ways, though.

Does Meetup screen or train the people running these groups?

[bluesky42day]

I went to my first meetup here in Nashville this week & it was SO much fun. There were 50 people & we went to the O'Charley's Test Kitchen at their headquarters & were able to eat & drink for free while sampling potential new menu items.

It was awesome, but with that being said, if it was only 3 other people & I was miserable, I would have left. I also brought a good friend with me because it was my first meetup & I didn't know what to expect.

[stars99]

Originally Posted by bluesky42day

I went to my first meetup here in Nashville this week & it was SO much fun. There were 50 people & we went to the O'Charley's Test Kitchen at their headquarters & were able to eat & drink for free while sampling potential new menu items.

It was awesome, but with that being said, if it was only 3 other people & I was miserable, I would have left. I also brought a good friend with me because it was my first meetup & I didn't know what to expect.

Well she mentioned that there were 12 women at the last group she ran, and it was just her + three guys at this meeting, so I think there is 100% turnover at each group she runs, because she's so bad.

Maybe I'll try another group.

[JoanD'Arc]

Originally Posted by stars99

I see from Joan Arc's post that it can work both ways, though.

Does Meetup screen or train the people running these groups?

Thanks, stars!! I agree that it can work both ways. I'm sure it depends on who shows up and how well the thing is run, etc.

If I had had your experience, I would have made an excuse after a while and left. Life's too short to be miserable for 3 hours if there's an alternative. You didn't owe anyone anything at that meeting, save basic civility and an honest effort.

I never heard of anyone being paid to run the meetings; what I learned is that Meetup charges everyone something like $30 every month (can't remember) to have access to their services. Seems like a money-maker for them, so why would they pay people to run meetings when people actually sign up to do it for nothing, and pay them as well?
Sound suspicious to me, but who knows!