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I think you did fine. It is okay to describe behavioral traits that you believe would best serve the long-term relationship. I do it, and it's been nearly 25 years. We change over time, and our likes and dislikes change. As long as you are open to his requests, no problem.
Had I faced your situation, I think I would've been tempted to say something like: "Hey, that's great, because I just decided to take the weekend off and go see (name the two of your favorite place, here). And go upstairs and pack. Let him spend the weekend with Princess Mom, alone.
Seriously, if this is an oft repeated theme, you may want to reconsider your choice of partners.
He may have used leaving an item there as his excuse and possibly made this arrangement with mom beforehand. I agree, its not unreasonable for you to expect discussions about weekend plans in advance but this seems to be a point of contention between the two of you.
So, as I see it the issue isn't were you wrong, all your asking is the respect of a discussion, but knowing how you feel about his mother and you've posted this in the past, is resulting in deception and obviously he feels you're unreasonable and does what he wants. It was his choice to leave and take her home, but you already know you're going to be the bad guy. Instead of taking liberties, he may actually discuss it with you the next time.
Thanks V. I totally agree (especially the first line and I feel so betrayed).
54, never married, hangs out with mom a lot? Why are playing house with this guy? You are wasting your time. This relationship is a loser, I know that without even hearing the background. Time to move on.
Years of experience and observational skills. Very few of us are as unique as we think we are. Most people, given the same set of circumstances, will behave in a similar fashion and have similar feelings. (Do you remember being 13 and feeling awkward, thinking it was only you? Turns out, almost all 13 year olds feel awkward.)
No, not all 50-something unmarried men in their 50s are undateable....but enough of them are that you are chasing after a bad bet. Do you play poker? Dating & living with this guy is the equivalent of betting 3/4 of your chips on an inside straight draw, when at most you might win 10% of your bet. It doesn't make any sense.
He says that his mom had neither a good life, a good marriage, and a good man (yes, his father). So he's trying to make up for the time wasted. He worships him mom. It's actually becoming very creepy now. Oh, did I mention he just turned 54? Mom would come here and send me around like I'm her little maid. "MissLucky, can I have a bowl of cereal and grape juice please?" **** that. I'm done.
Yikes! are you sure he's not gay? J/k...But really, 54? Maybe suggest he pay fo a campanion for his Mom, to reduce his guilt.
So here's the the usual trend. He'll call or come back at some point tomorrow, pretending all is fine and everything is alright. Can you guys tell me how I proceed with this? I feel like I want out though.
Yikes! are you sure he's not gay? J/k...But really, 54? Maybe suggest he pay fo a campanion for his Mom, to reduce his guilt.
I think he has a "crush" on his 81 yrs old mom. Seriously. If he was to start his life all over again and God asks him if he would rather be his mom's son or husband I'm pretty sure he'll pick husband.
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are you sure he's not gay? J/k...But really, 54? Maybe suggest he pay fo a campanion for his Mom, to reduce his guilt.