True or False: Lots of men in their 40's lose interest in women. (couple, casual)
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I am a woman, and will say the door swings both ways.
I don't see why there should be any gender difference, and in fact I think women think exactly the same way. The women I'm dating certainly think that way, as do I. We are not hot to hit the sheets. We want to make sure if we hit the sheets it's for an exclusive LTR.
There are always those of both genders who prefer FB and FWB relationships. Nothing wrong with that, it's just not me.
I don't see why there should be any gender difference, and in fact I think women think exactly the same way. The women I'm dating certainly think that way, as do I. We are not hot to hit the sheets. We want to make sure if we hit the sheets it's for an exclusive LTR.
There are always those of both genders who prefer FB and FWB relationships. Nothing wrong with that, it's just not me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,930,903 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound
Where did you get that 6 months figure? I never said that.
The correct answer: I'll know it when I see it and not before. And remember there are two people involved, this is not my decision to make alone.
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You said you won't have sex until you were in an exclusive LTR.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound
These days I require an exclusive LTR before sex.
I was asking when you thought you had a long term relationship. I was just throwing out numbers. Clearly 1 or 2 or 3 mos isn't a long term relationship (not for most adults), so no sex would be happening. You must have some idea of what constitutes "long term" in your head. I was just wondering when that is. For me it doesn't get consideration as long term until we reach a year.
You said you won't have sex until you were in an exclusive LTR.
I was asking when you thought you had a long term relationship. I was just throwing out numbers. Clearly 1 or 2 or 3 mos isn't a long term relationship (not for most adults), so no sex would be happening. You must have some idea of what constitutes "long term" in your head. I was just wondering when that is. For me it doesn't get consideration as long term until we reach a year.
Long term means to me that I plan on being with that woman exclusively for a whole long time, and likewise for her. I didn't mean to imply it was long term before deciding to have sex.
I'm not going to place numbers on how long I must know some woman. And being exclusive does not imply sex. It means we are not dating anybody else and seeing if we can stand each other with no other dates. If the feelings grow we'll know if sex is appropriate.
You can't put numbers on affairs of the heart. I have a date with my first time ever OLD date very soon (we've already agreed, except which day). We haven't been together for months. Our first date was early January. She wants to see me again and I snapped that up in a New York minute!
And anyway, plan for the best. There isn't going to be any first date sex for me, no FBs or FWBs. I won't have sex outside of an exclusive relationship. I'm not criticizing others, that's just what's best for me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,930,903 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound
Long term means to me that I plan on being with that woman exclusively for a whole long time. I didn't mean to imply it was long term before deciding.
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Gotcha. That makes sense. It didn't read that way to me.
Who are these people who seem to think that life stops if you aren't relationship-minded?
I'm not saying that you said that.
Why would someone who is not relationship minded be in a Relationship Forum?
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Gotcha. That makes sense. It didn't read that way to me.
Hey Timber, you're an acquired taste. I like you and respect you a lot more after reading your posts the last few months. We are different but there are multiple ways to view the world. You can I both be right even with divergent views. No one thing works for everybody or all we'd have is just one thing!
Why would someone who is not relationship minded be in a Relationship Forum?
It's a question for the ages, ain't it?
Wait...somebody call Scribbles, he was really good at answering this one back when he spent a lot of time here telling us all why he ducks and dodges and keeps the evil love bug at bay...
Men in their 40s haven't lost interest at all. It's just that they aren't idiots about sex and women anymore. A 25 year old man will put up with all sorts of shenanigans, manipulation and drama if he thinks there's a good chance he will get laid that night. A 45 year old man isn't going to sit around putting up with that anymore, he doesn't feel he needs sex that badly, so he'd rather go home and have his peace and quiet. They are very much as interested as ever, but if you aren't a pain in the ass.
"I am sixty two and have a healthy libido, but have talked to many men (over a hundred) who freely admit that they lost interest in women by age forty. They are not gay males, just turned off towards women. Something about the male female games seemed to turn them off and they would just as soon have a date with their left hand. I know that sounds crude, but it is a reality for many men.
What do you think it is?
The definition in society world wide is that a man is a provider. Could these men be disinterested in being a provider? Could the responsibility associated with having to provide for a family be driving them away from women?
Could it be that they have just met too many artificial women who have turned them off to women in general?
Any other ideas?"
Please discuss?
PS- I DID NOT write this NOR am I saying I agree or disagree with it.
Guy in his 40's here.
I haven't lost complete interest in women, but I don't feel I have the ability to love a woman anymore.
I generally don't get along with a large percent of women these days as well.
I'm sure there are women that feel the same about men. The thing is a lot of men can only get burned really bad a couple times in regards to long term relationships before it will wreck them for good. I'm one of those guys I guess. I've been in two long term relationships over the last 20 years and both ended with my wife/GF leaving me for another man.
I just can't trust women anymore, and I feel we live in a society that makes it almost impossible to provide enough attention to keep a lot of women interested. The Internet has destroyed a lot of relationships. I can tell you that.
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