Would you get married again? (men, looking, people, love)

[chey2u]

Originally Posted by birdrgal

For those either divorced or widowed: Do you want to, or would you, get married again?

I would not, because I discovered that I love my independence and having my living space all to myself too much to ever consider giving it up. But I have a few friends of the same age (late 50s) who are at the other extreme, desperate to find a spouse because of either being lonely or afraid there "won't be anyone to take care of" them "in their old age".

Two of my other friends are like me, we all say "Never again".

How about everyone else?

You did not offer a selection for those of us that are married. Would we do it again if we knew then what we know now etc?
I would definitly get married again and am very happily married . Just had our 16 year wedding anniversary. My first marriage was 13 years and hale no I would not marry him again. Though he gave me my beautiful son he treated me less than and was a major cheater PIG. I have known him since I was 4 & I am 49 now. I should have known better. The best part is after he married his current love bunny he appologized to me. Said he treated me horrible and that I was the best wife and the new onw=e makes him miserable. I did not feel sorry for him but it felt good to hear it because I know I am a great wife,

[AliceT]

That's a tough one. It takes a very determined man to get me to say "I do." I married my first and only husband when I was 41. He proposed 14 years before I said yes. I initially said no. He told me to let him know if I ever changed my mind. He waited for me to change my mind. We went fishing or boating most weekends during that time, but never lived together. I wouldn't have anything to do with that. When I finally asked him if the offer still stood, he asked if tomorrow was too soon. It was. We were married the following week. He died two years later. He taught me what real love was. He also taught me what a broken heart feels like. I'm not sure I have what it takes to survive that kind of grief again or even if I could dismiss the fear of it happening again if I ever allow myself to love so completely - a second time.

[fjtee]

I'm happily married and plan on staying that way to the very end of our marriage's possibility. Meaning, most likely one of us will die first and it won't be a joint venture, so to speak. If I outlive my husband, I might consider remarriage. It would depend upon my age. At 80-something, no way would I remarry. I'd just shack up if I was insane enough to feel the need. 40-something - then, yes, I wouldn't close the door on that possibility.

My father died last year after being really ill for over a decade. While my mother misses him, she has freedom for the first time in her life. She can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants and doesn't have to take care of anyone. I know she'll never remarry. My grandmother was the same way. They both married much older men and went straight from taking care of children to taking care of their spouses. Neither had many years of carefree living once the kids moved out of the house.

Anyway, there is my little story for the evening. I'm no Hemmingway; sorry for that.

[Aylalou]

I find it's mostly (not always) middle-aged women who have been married and no longer are, who are not anxious to remarry. After a breakup, death or divorce, most men are anxious to marry or hook up again. For the most part, men don't do as well as women when single. I think it's because women give more to the relationship in most cases (that's just the way it is. As someone who gave a talk once said, men aren't that good at relationships. If the woman wants the relationship, she has to accept that men will put sports and job first, then the partner - in most cases, I repeat). Women have better relationship skills. So once they are alone and find new-found freedom, it is very hard to give up, and most choose to stay single.

A survey was once taken - happiest people - unhappiest people.
Happiest: married men - single women
Unhappiest: - single men - married women

This doesn't apply to everyone here, of course, but generally speaking, I think it's true.

[future1]

I voted to stay open-after a disasterous 30+ year marriage I wasn't even interested in dating. But...met a really nice man who is worth the time and effort to engage in a relationship. Marriage, don't know but it would take someone very special to get me to think of sharing my life that completely again. Maybe the pluses would be greater with a decent human being rather than the person I spent my early years on. Would be nice to spend more time with a special someone

[Huckleberry3911948]

solitude is preferable to bad company

[2mares]

Almost divorced when widowed, waited 15 yrs. married again, now almost divorced again. Will NEVER marry again. Should have my butt kicked for doing it the second time. I do have a boyfriend and am happy with that. I see absolutly no reason to enter into a martial contract.

[TexianPatriot]

Originally Posted by AliceT

That's a tough one. It takes a very determined man to get me to say "I do." I married my first and only husband when I was 41. He proposed 14 years before I said yes. I initially said no. He told me to let him know if I ever changed my mind. He waited for me to change my mind. We went fishing or boating most weekends during that time, but never lived together. I wouldn't have anything to do with that. When I finally asked him if the offer still stood, he asked if tomorrow was too soon. It was. We were married the following week. He died two years later. He taught me what real love was. He also taught me what a broken heart feels like. I'm not sure I have what it takes to survive that kind of grief again or even if I could dismiss the fear of it happening again if I ever allow myself to love so completely - a second time.

That's really sweet. Don't let it get you down though. The people you love are never "gone". Remember that next time you feel like you have no where to turn.

[Capt. Dan]

Only if COLDIAMOND asked me nicely!!!!

[MommyV]

Gosh, this is a tough one....

Maybe yes, but since I screwed it up the first time, I might let my mother pick out the next one. LOL