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My BF invited me to a picnic within his community. I agreed to go, but 2 days before he mentioned that I may not be comfy cause most of the people attending would be new to me. He even told me that he volunteered me help him sell 50/50 tickets. Then he tells me about how he is only thinking of me when he mentioned me being around people I don't know. I never said anything about not going - but when this came up, I felt he didn't want me there. I told him I was fine with not going and now he says I bailed on him, because I didn't show. Am I missing something here? Wasn't he the one that suggested I stay home? Now he and I have split and he says that I was wrong? Please tell me what went wrong here.
My take on this is that he was being sensitive when he said you may not be comfy because you did not know most of the people. Sounds to me like it occurred to him sometime after inviting you that it might not be the most comfortable situation, and he was giving you an opportunity to say whether you were okay with it or not. I think you should've been honest with him about whatever you felt at the time, and I think you should have gone to the picnic.
We readers of your OP are not privy to the tone of your voices, body language, etc. from that conversation, so we can't be sure what his intention was when he mentioned you might not be comfortable at the picnic, nor how you reacted at the time.
Two people who cannot communicate well do not a successful couple make.
My BF invited me to a picnic within his community. I agreed to go, but 2 days before he mentioned that I may not be comfy cause most of the people attending would be new to me. He even told me that he volunteered me help him sell 50/50 tickets. Then he tells me about how he is only thinking of me when he mentioned me being around people I don't know. I never said anything about not going - but when this came up, I felt he didn't want me there. I told him I was fine with not going and now he says I bailed on him, because I didn't show. Am I missing something here? Wasn't he the one that suggested I stay home? Now he and I have split and he says that I was wrong? Please tell me what went wrong here.
I think you were wrong. He was showing genuine concern for you and your feelings. I really think he wanted you to go.
I was very honest with him - I told him if he wanted me to be there - I would be there. That is why I am so pissed at him. I never once gave him any idea that I was not willing to go or that I would be uncomfy. He just came up with it and that is why I didn't go. I honestly wanted to go. I wanted to be there with him, but I felt that maybe he was the one who was going to be uncomfy, so I didn't show. I kept thinking that I would be more uncomfy being with him if he wasn't happy I was there. I still can't understand why he even said it. I keep thinking if he really wanted me to attend, why would he say anything negative. Then he told me that I am not the outdoor type of girl. I am the one who would take walks and go on hikes with him. I may not be out there hunting and fishing with him, but... I really think we are thru, but I just need "closure". I feel as if he was the one trying to be in control of the situation and it backfired, so it is easier to blame me. YOu tell me.
OMG THANK YOU That is exactly how I feel. He even made a remark on his facebook page when asked by a friend how the event was. His remark "ah, same as always". Makes me wonder about what he expected this small community picnic to be. I am so confused as to how this all got to this point. We were so good together for a long time, we always had our moments, but not like this. You are all great - it really helps to vent.
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