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I will not settle simply means you won't settle for anything less than what you know you deserve.
The problem is that a lot of people have an unrealistic idea of what they deserve. There's a sense of entitlement, especially among younger people. These people really need to come back down to Earth. They're not as great or as deserving as they think they are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
Ahh you're totally correct Denny this isn't just a problem with the speed daters this is also the whole problem with all the online daters.
Good point. There so many threads on here bashing online dating. People sign up and expect to meet someone immediately. When they don't, they declare online dating to be a waste of time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayoi
So what if someone has unrealistic standards. It's of no consequence to any of you. MYOB!
If it's a small percentage of people, it's no big deal. But when a significant portion of the population is like this, it skews what people start to think is realistic. If you think you're entitled to a job that pays 100K, most people will think you're being unrealistic. But imagine if everyone else you knew had that same expectation. That makes it harder to recognize that you're being unrealistic.
if i date someone with unrealistic standards, that is of consequence to me.
I'm talking about single people who will not "settle". If you're dating someone whose standards you do not meet, then they're already "settling" to a certain degree. If you're not even dating yet, then their standards are of no concern to you.
Hey. Aren't we on a discussion forum? The topic was opened by the OP and up for discussion last I thought.
Just like the OP can open a thread on this topic, I can offer my input on it. I'm not telling people they can't discuss the topic. I'm giving my opinion on what they need to do when it concerns other people's dating criteria
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
If it's a small percentage of people, it's no big deal. But when a significant portion of the population is like this, it skews what people start to think is realistic. If you think you're entitled to a job that pays 100K, most people will think you're being unrealistic. But imagine if everyone else you knew had that same expectation. That makes it harder to recognize that you're being unrealistic.
The person with the "high standards" will ultimately suffer. If no one is hiring them then they will learn quick that they need to change their thinking. Same thing for dating.
Just like the OP can open a thread on this topic, I can offer my input on it. I'm not telling people they can't discuss the topic. I'm giving my opinion on what they need to do when it concerns other people's dating criteria
The person with the "high standards" will ultimately suffer. If no one is hiring them then they will learn quick that they need to change their thinking. Same thing for dating.
Now if I say "MYOB" it sounds like I'm kinda saying "don't offer input."
I'm just saying...
Anyway, having high standards does not necessarily mean sufferring, if you have some flexibility to accept something lessor. Whereas setting them low, and leaving little wiggle room, seems to guarantee lower quality and perhaps more sufferring so-to-speak.
The person with the "high standards" will ultimately suffer. If no one is hiring them then they will learn quick that they need to change their thinking. Same thing for dating.
Eventually they'll realize they have to lower their standards. But it won't necessarily be quick. A lot of people take years to finally accept that. It doesn't help that they're constantly being bombarded with messages from society that says "you deserve the best" and "never settle".
Eventually they'll realize they have to lower their standards. But it won't necessarily be quick. A lot of people take years to finally accept that. It doesn't help that they're constantly being bombarded with messages from society that says "you deserve the best" and "never settle".
Yes Mr. Crane!
Reminds me of a scene in Meet The Fokkers where Gaylord Fokker's childhood wall is being viewed. On it are several seventh and eighth place ribbons. Who knew they gave those out? Is this part of the reason so many coddled children seem to feel entitled to so much?
To add on to your sentiment, D. Crane, I would submit that we get a "we are all equal" vibe too. Perhaps from that, programs like No Child Left Behind (NCLB) are born. Clearly not every child is college bound but none-the-less, a multi-billion dollar testing industry (can you say college aptitude for eighth graders?) has developed partially in answer to this notion of equality.
So all you average people out there...dream all you want about George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie and all the other pretty people. But set your sights lower than that because winning a lottery is probably more likely. In that sense, all of us are settling for less.
Reminds me of a scene in Meet The Fokkers where Gaylord Fokker's childhood wall is being viewed. On it are several seventh and eighth place ribbons. Who knew they gave those out? Is this part of the reason so many coddled children seem to feel entitled to so much?
I received ribbons like that when I was a kid. But even then, I knew enough not to let it go to my head or make me feel like I should get a ribbon no matter how I placed. Those of us who received them understood we were just getting them for the sake of not letting anyone feel left out. But it does seem like these days, they've taken it much farther, to the point where kids don't realize that being ranked 7th isn't the same as coming in 1st. It's like parents and educators are so worried that kids' egos are so fragile that they need to be reinforced no matter how average they may be compared to other kids. When it comes to dating, there's that same sense of "I'm just as good as everyone else and therefore deserve just as good as them." If one person ends up with someone really attractive and successful, their friends start to think, "I deserve just as much."
from all the social dances i have attended for 15 years, allow me to translate. i will not settle -
i divorced him-- got money and condo and have starved myself and take 1000 dance lessons-- i like looking good--dressing up --- though i am post cougar period. i just wana relive my youth a few times a week at these dance clubs.
thanks but i like going home alone, ballroom dancing with you for 5 minutes is my entire current sex life.
after the cha cha, im done. was it good for you?
I received ribbons like that when I was a kid. But even then, I knew enough not to let it go to my head or make me feel like I should get a ribbon no matter how I placed. Those of us who received them understood we were just getting them for the sake of not letting anyone feel left out...
I had seen such things in satire mentioned, I just did not know it was really happening. So they really do hand out ribbons to those who did nothing but show up?
All I can say is
One problem of living as a old hermit, even with the news and Internet, it is hard to follow all social trends. I recall when political correctness first started to be made humor of back in the '70s, did not stop it from being realized by the '90s. If this "all children are special" has gone beyond the joke stage, I shudder to think of the eventual consequences.
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I'm giving my opinion on what they need to do when it concerns other people's dating criteria 
