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View Poll Results: Marriage Counseling or Not?
Yes Ron.....I did get counseling now I'm divorced! 3 5.88%
No Ron.....I did not get counseling, now I want out. 3 5.88%
Yes Ron, I did get counseling. 15 29.41%
No Ron, I did not get counseling 19 37.25%
Ron, why are you so damn nosey? Shouldn't you be looking for a job? I thought you got fired?! 5 9.80%
Why are you concerned about my marriege Ron? 3 5.88%
Ron, you need to stop with all of these silly little threads! 3 5.88%
Voters: 51. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-01-2010, 01:41 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,521 posts, read 13,569,137 times
Reputation: 8079

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WFW&P View Post
The poll closes on when?!!!!
This poll will close on 09-03-2011 at 04:36 PM
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Old 08-01-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 6,136,381 times
Reputation: 2883
I had to get counseling (and get baptized) to get married in a specific church. It was nice, but pretty redundant with my own premarital preparation. If you are objective with your own premarital assessments you can probably do without.
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Old 08-01-2010, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,758,930 times
Reputation: 14503
Ron, You are, obviously, bored and need something, constructive, to do , lol.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,685 posts, read 4,130,261 times
Reputation: 7506
You didn't offer a mixture of the first two:

Yes, Ron -- I did get counseling and now I want out.
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Old 08-01-2010, 04:31 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,279,906 times
Reputation: 45821
Because we were married in the Catholic church, we had pre-marriage counseling. Oh my God, it was a gigantic waste of time.

Basically the whole point of counseling is to state the obvious. As in "Talk to your partner every day. Don't spend more than you make. Be open with your partner in every way. Blah blah blah." I guess if you're 18 and stupid it's one thing. But we were in our late 20s and had been around the block a few times. And, during the session on sex, it was obvious that everybody in the room had had a lot more sex than the Catholic priest ever had. Yet he was the one lecturing us.

I mean, how hard can this stuff be? Wait, upon reading some of the questions posed on this message board, maybe you should take a test to decide if you need it or not.
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,065 posts, read 20,559,906 times
Reputation: 20408
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
Answer The Poll Question Please.

I am just curious to know. Also do you think it would have been a good idea to get the counseling?

Would you recommend it to soon to be married couples, even if you did not get it yourself?


Discuss and ad whatever you like to the topic.


If you'd like, tell us how long you've been married.

Ron
(Be nice)
First marriage we had to meet with the preacher for about an hour, but I wouldnt call it counseling. I dont remember anything he said. That marriage lasted 5 yrs. Second time, no. Marriage lasted 10 yrs. we were together about 5 before we married.

Yes, I would recommend it. I still think it is a good ideal, if done right. Actually, I would like to see marriage/parenting classes mandatory for high school students and classes/counseling before a marriage license is issued.
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:39 AM
 
1,891 posts, read 3,840,459 times
Reputation: 1463
Quote:
Originally Posted by woxyroxme View Post
I was dragged into the pre-cana thing because DW and family was catholic, I was raised in a hell-fire and brimstone evangelical fundamentalist KJV bible preaching church. This priest knew as much about marriage as an Amish man would know about auto mechanics and this "counseling" was nothing more than a platform to pitch religious dogma.

Interestingly, this priest died of AIDS a short time later, I have to wonder how many altar boys he infected.


1. Are you still a "hell-fire and brimstone evangelical fundamentalist KFJ Bible preaching" person?
2. How did the DW react when he/she learned the priest died... of AIDS?
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Heart of Oklahoma
1,173 posts, read 1,294,818 times
Reputation: 466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
Answer The Poll Question Please.

I am just curious to know. Also do you think it would have been a good idea to get the counseling?

Would you recommend it to soon to be married couples, even if you did not get it yourself?


Discuss and ad whatever you like to the topic.


If you'd like, tell us how long you've been married.

Ron
(Be nice)
The only good thing that came out of the counseling when I got married was the marriage license was way cheaper.
I am now happily divorced for four years.
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,685 posts, read 4,130,261 times
Reputation: 7506
I notice a LOT of people dismissing pre-marital counseling out of hand.

Pre-marital counseling is a lot like ANY class out there:

There are good classes filled with insight and discussion, things to make you sit back and say "Hmmmm...."

There are BAD classes, people who don't know squat about the topic they're allegedly "teaching".

There are good students who listen and take the subject material and pry it apart at the seams, examining critically; and there are bad students who are there to get the credit and nothing more.

I was a good student, discussing and weighing and considering; my wife was a bad student, there because it was a prerequisite for being married through her church. I saved the sheets from class for opening discussion, she treated the questions in a Boolean fashion: Yes/No. No thought, no consideration, no objective perspective, just do it and get it over with.
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,866 posts, read 7,078,901 times
Reputation: 5113
We did not get counseling because we could not afford it. WE were both completely unemployed this time last year.

But I thought we had some issues to work out so we both agreed to list our issues out on a piece of paper and find resolutions for each. It ended up being an easy conversation and everything got worked out.
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