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I had to get counseling (and get baptized) to get married in a specific church. It was nice, but pretty redundant with my own premarital preparation. If you are objective with your own premarital assessments you can probably do without.
Because we were married in the Catholic church, we had pre-marriage counseling. Oh my God, it was a gigantic waste of time.
Basically the whole point of counseling is to state the obvious. As in "Talk to your partner every day. Don't spend more than you make. Be open with your partner in every way. Blah blah blah." I guess if you're 18 and stupid it's one thing. But we were in our late 20s and had been around the block a few times. And, during the session on sex, it was obvious that everybody in the room had had a lot more sex than the Catholic priest ever had. Yet he was the one lecturing us.
I mean, how hard can this stuff be? Wait, upon reading some of the questions posed on this message board, maybe you should take a test to decide if you need it or not.
I am just curious to know. Also do you think it would have been a good idea to get the counseling?
Would you recommend it to soon to be married couples, even if you did not get it yourself?
Discuss and ad whatever you like to the topic.
If you'd like, tell us how long you've been married.
Ron
(Be nice)
First marriage we had to meet with the preacher for about an hour, but I wouldnt call it counseling. I dont remember anything he said. That marriage lasted 5 yrs. Second time, no. Marriage lasted 10 yrs. we were together about 5 before we married.
Yes, I would recommend it. I still think it is a good ideal, if done right. Actually, I would like to see marriage/parenting classes mandatory for high school students and classes/counseling before a marriage license is issued.
I was dragged into the pre-cana thing because DW and family was catholic, I was raised in a hell-fire and brimstone evangelical fundamentalist KJV bible preaching church. This priest knew as much about marriage as an Amish man would know about auto mechanics and this "counseling" was nothing more than a platform to pitch religious dogma.
Interestingly, this priest died of AIDS a short time later, I have to wonder how many altar boys he infected.
1. Are you still a "hell-fire and brimstone evangelical fundamentalist KFJ Bible preaching" person?
2. How did the DW react when he/she learned the priest died... of AIDS?
I am just curious to know. Also do you think it would have been a good idea to get the counseling?
Would you recommend it to soon to be married couples, even if you did not get it yourself?
Discuss and ad whatever you like to the topic.
If you'd like, tell us how long you've been married.
Ron
(Be nice)
The only good thing that came out of the counseling when I got married was the marriage license was way cheaper.
I am now happily divorced for four years.
I notice a LOT of people dismissing pre-marital counseling out of hand.
Pre-marital counseling is a lot like ANY class out there:
There are good classes filled with insight and discussion, things to make you sit back and say "Hmmmm...."
There are BAD classes, people who don't know squat about the topic they're allegedly "teaching".
There are good students who listen and take the subject material and pry it apart at the seams, examining critically; and there are bad students who are there to get the credit and nothing more.
I was a good student, discussing and weighing and considering; my wife was a bad student, there because it was a prerequisite for being married through her church. I saved the sheets from class for opening discussion, she treated the questions in a Boolean fashion: Yes/No. No thought, no consideration, no objective perspective, just do it and get it over with.
We did not get counseling because we could not afford it. WE were both completely unemployed this time last year.
But I thought we had some issues to work out so we both agreed to list our issues out on a piece of paper and find resolutions for each. It ended up being an easy conversation and everything got worked out.
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, lol.
