Women who ask men out. (Asian, American, couple, looking)

[Toxiclove]

I'm 30 and I have never asked a guy out.

I don't think I would take rejection well.

[TaoistDude]

Being unwilling to ask a men for a date may result in lost opportunities. Many really great men are shy, or perhaps too respectful to approach a woman for a date unless the circumstances lend themselves to it. Women who see someone they like should ask, otherwise, they may miss out on meeting someone who would be great for them. I appreciate proactive women, though not all may be suitable for me. Rejection IS part of the risk, of course, but I think it may be worth it.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by Lucario

Yeah. I would love to be asked out by a woman. I would love for a woman to show interest, but on the other hand, maybe they might have in the past, but I didn't know about it. As MM said, clues and signs are not enough, because there have been times I thought a woman was giving me clues and signs, but she wasn't.

Lucario,
It's not common for women to ask men out, as many already have agreed in this thread and others have said they would never do that or gave up the only time they tried. Not something necessarily bad, its just, say, a custom or tradition/culture I guess. Travel a bit to the east and your possibilities of having a woman ask you out will be higher. It seems to be acceptable in their culture or maybe it is just mere coincidence but that's how it has happened to me. It's fun planning your activities to take a girl out, find out what can be enjoyful, good places to eat, etc. Dropping your date back at home, walking her to her door, and just seeing that look on her face that she had a great time and would like to do it again . I find it as enjoyful to know that a girl took her time to plan something that she thought I would enjoy and all. Feels pretty good too.

As for hints, indirect messages, clues, etc. Many times I'll just think a girl is being friendly and flirty just like she would be with any other guy. I am not the kind that will think a girl totally digs me just because she giggled with me, told me she thought I was cute, smiled, etc. It's nice and appreciated when a girl is that friendly and I just take it like that "Hhhmph! Nice friendly girl", that's it. Now, have a girl be more direct and its a go . There was this girl I mentioned last week. Called me, arranged to meet, etc. later on that day straight out told me she felt like having some Mexican food. She took me out for dinner .

[enigmaingr]

Originally Posted by TaoistDude

Being unwilling to ask a men for a date may result in lost opportunities. Many really great men are shy, or perhaps too respectful to approach a woman for a date unless the circumstances lend themselves to it. Women who see someone they like should ask, otherwise, they may miss out on meeting someone who would be great for them. I appreciate proactive women, though not all may be suitable for me. Rejection IS part of the risk, of course, but I think it may be worth it.

It's better than sitting around complaining about not having a date. For both sexes, dating is like finding a job. No employer is going to knock on your door asking if you want a job. You have to put yourself out there. Oftentimes, with ladies, opportunities come to you; sometimes though, you have to actively go after that dream job. Everyone has a choice: pick from the options presented to you or go after the one you want.

[thebobs]

Originally Posted by swanstone1

By all means, ASK! And before you know it, it becomes second nature. If I see someone that intrigues me, I always ask and have never been turned down. Ok, it took the braveness of late 30's to do it....but, hike up those pants, switch the imaginary package to the other side and make the call. Hey, a call works too! Beats the heck out of what if-ing yourself silly

And believe me. I've heard some women what if the heck out of things.

[mandavaran]

Originally Posted by annika08

Oh yes! I wasn't going to say anything. When I was 19 I worked at a pizza place, and there was a guy at the hardware store next door who always came in to get a slice of pizza, talk and flirt a little. I had the biggest crush on him, and he gave very strong signals he was interested. I slipped him my number in his pizza box one day and told him to call me sometime. He made a face and told me had a girlfriend. I never asked a guy out again.

I'm married now, but if I were single again I would probably be hesistant due to my age.

Ah you poor lil' ting! And you actually survived!?

Gee, I wonder how many guys go through that kind of thing all the time and lived to tell of it? Probably a few million. Course, we got the cajones and are just supposed to ball up and take it without collapsing in a fetal position or drowning ourselves in anti-depressants or carrying a complex the rest of our lives.

So women want to be president, champions of industry, sports champions and all around super humans but can't bear the pain of ONE, count 'em, ONE rejection?

[GeorgeLucasLongLostChin]

I never asked a woman out in my life. Always been them who asked me out, so I guess it's common

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

Two common things that happen...overly optimistic men will think that a woman who merely smiles and says hello is madly in love with him and will interpret that innocent hello as throwing herself at him. That's why some attractive women put up the b*tch shield. They might be the nicest person in the world, but they need to insulate themselves from unsolicited advances.

Then there are the women who will try to offer subtle hints, but if she's generally a friendly person to everyone, the man she's interested in may just shrug off those subtle hints as part of her personality, thinking she's that way with everyone and that he's no more special in her eyes then the next guy.

Yes, both scenarios are very possible. It's like being at the party and flirt with everyone in sight and have only one man in mind, but this man doesn't know it because she doesn't give any special treatment towards him, but the rest of the men think that she likes THEM.

[*VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*]

Originally Posted by annika08

Oh yes! I wasn't going to say anything. When I was 19 I worked at a pizza place, and there was a guy at the hardware store next door who always came in to get a slice of pizza, talk and flirt a little. I had the biggest crush on him, and he gave very strong signals he was interested. I slipped him my number in his pizza box one day and told him to call me sometime. He made a face and told me had a girlfriend. I never asked a guy out again.

I'm married now, but if I were single again I would probably be hesistant due to my age.

You poor thing.

I too don't understand how guys go through this sort of thing over and over, mandavaran. I think it's a little unfair that they are expected to do all the approaching/asking out/phonecalls first, so in my case I just took initiative. These days if I were single and I was going to ask someone out, I would get the scoop from one of their friends or something first.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by TehB33nz

I recently asked a guy out for the first time. He did not say yes but did not say no either. I heard from another friend that he was not interested in me more than a friend. I have seen this particular person a few times since then and acted just as friends. I dropped the subject for now but, I made the effort and if he were interested he knows how to contact me. oh well! Next!

I'm sorry it didn't work out. But you will find someone.