Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, the problem I've had in the past wasn't "needy" friends, but "possessive" friends. They were very possessive of our friendship. They wouldn't like if I spent time with other people, or planned a getaway with someone else. They would get very jealous if I was building other friendships and felt that they always needed to be included.
I can't feel suffocated in friendships. Although I'm loyal to couple of my friends who would always come first, the reason they still remained my friends is because of the space that they've given me over the years.
Those are the WORST! I don't have any friends like that anymore, I had to cut ties. A friend of my friend gets so angry when I want to hang out with her because "they were friends first". Ridiculous, we aren't in highschool anymore.
Do you have many "needy" friends? How would you define "being needy?"
I have one friend who I would define as "needy". The way I define a "needy" relationship is that is it one-sided and unbalanced.
You can tell you are with a "needy" friend when they only call when they need something. When they are bored, or sick, or upset. You'll find that when you call them, they often seem distracted and uninterested.
I put up with it because this person is younger and she just kind of needs (there's that word again!) help and guidance.
I'm pretty good at setting boundaries with her. I can say "no". I also find that my relationship is not as...deep (I think that is the word I want) as some of my friendships with people who are more stable and mature. I see those friends as my equals.
With the "needy" friend, I give her tons of advice (when asked) and support for instance, but I would never turn to her when I need help or advice.
I don't think you should define yourself as "needy" if you sometimes ask for help and support from friends and loved ones. As long as you are ready, willing , and able to reciprocate when the time comes, you are not "needy", but rather a good friend.
Well, the problem I've had in the past wasn't "needy" friends, but "possessive" friends. They were very possessive of our friendship. They wouldn't like if I spent time with other people, or planned a getaway with someone else. They would get very jealous if I was building other friendships and felt that they always needed to be included.
I can't feel suffocated in friendships. Although I'm loyal to couple of my friends who would always come first, the reason they still remained my friends is because of the space that they've given me over the years.
I have a friend who was emotionally needy to begin with - the type that, is she calls you on Monday night and you don't call her back, then she calls on Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. My other friends understand that I got their message and will return their call when I have a minute (and vice-versa). Maybe they would call again the following week, but not the next day (unless it was urgent). Well, this friend unfortunately is going through a very rough time - she lost her mom (she was an only child and, at 43, still lived with her mom) and she is going through some tough financial times - so her neediness has gone through the roof. She doesn't ask for money, but she calls a lot and her messages are sometimes rather desperate, emotionally. I do understand - and I have been the best friend to her that I can be (hopefully), but it gets taxing at times.
That is what made my wife and I so compatable when we first got together......we were BOTH "needy" and "clingy" towards each other. Wanted to do everything together and be together every minute we could. The "needy" and "clingy" thing sure worked for us!
That is what made my wife and I so compatable when we first got together......we were BOTH "needy" and "clingy" towards each other. Wanted to do everything together and be together every minute we could. The "needy" and "clingy" thing sure worked for us!
Awwwww. Shucks.
My guess is that what made it work though, was the fact that you were both needy, AND both willing to give.
That is what made my wife and I so compatable when we first got together......we were BOTH "needy" and "clingy" towards each other. Wanted to do everything together and be together every minute we could. The "needy" and "clingy" thing sure worked for us!
You know, maybe it's not such a horrible thing. Maybe this society has bought too much into the self-sufficiency in EVERY area blabber.
Depends on your definition of needy - but in general these people don't hang around too long because I don't give into there needs if they are unreasonable or burdensome.
This doesn't apply to my close circle of friends of course. I don't care if there need is something I consider unreasonable - I'm so there. Course they don't do that a lot.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
