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Not for nothing, but I'm surprised you found a doctor who would perform that procedure on someone so young. Maybe men don't get the paternalism women do. If a 26-year-old woman wanted her tubes tied, she'd be hard-pressed to find a doctor who would do it because "Oh, honey, you just haven't met the right person yet. When you do, you'll want to give him children."
That's not to say men don't change their minds. My ex-husband said he wanted a vasectomy when he was 28. Now he has two kids with his second wife.
But hey, good on ya for knowing what you want and taking action. I commend you for being in control of your reproductive fate. Surely, there are women out there who think like I do. If I were single and your age and knew a man like you, I'd consider the vasectomy a plus. But that's just me, because I knew in my early 20s that I didn't want kids. (And 20 years along, that never changed.)
So he never got the vasectomy, he changed his mind, or did his vasectomy fail?
Can a guy tell his fiance that he was born infertile?
I wouldn't recommend it. With all the technology in the world today, she might just try to have him see if it can be corrected. Just be honest up front.
I just want to know why does society still seem to project the image of being childless, with no desire to have biological children as being socially abnormal.
I'm a young, single male who opted to have a vasectomy at my current age of 26. Not only have my family and friends given me a hard time (instead of just accepting my decisions) but one of my prospective urologist advised I see a psychotherapist for possible mental issues. Needless to say I opted for a different surgeon.
My reasons for making this decision have nothing to do with my physical desires for the opposite sex or underlying emotional issues. My parents have been happily married for 40 years with 4 boys as a result. I just sincerely believe that, if chosen as an option in the future; adoption is a selfless way of providing an otherwise unwanted child with the opportunity to have a great life. Although I do have to admit my parents were severely heartbroken upon hearing the news. I just believe procreating for the sake of "leaving a legacy" is quite vain and immature.
Certain women, especially minority (black, asian, hispanic\latin) seem too quick to write off someone such as myself upon finding out I'm snipped without letting me give a legitimate explanation. I am black and my actions seem to be taboo for my community which is absurd. Is it because of strong ties to their cultural and religious beliefs? I'm not the lest bit discouraged, just a bit curious as to why this is even an issue for society as a collective. I couldn't be more happy with my decision.
You sound like a good guy...smarter than average. Don't listen to too much nonsense or let people get you down about your big boy decisions. It's your life and you have to live it the way you see fit.
I just want to know why does society still seem to project the image of being childless, with no desire to have biological children as being socially abnormal.
I'm a young, single male who opted to have a vasectomy at my current age of 26. Not only have my family and friends given me a hard time (instead of just accepting my decisions) but one of my prospective urologist advised I see a psychotherapist for possible mental issues. Needless to say I opted for a different surgeon.
My reasons for making this decision have nothing to do with my physical desires for the opposite sex or underlying emotional issues. My parents have been happily married for 40 years with 4 boys as a result. I just sincerely believe that, if chosen as an option in the future; adoption is a selfless way of providing an otherwise unwanted child with the opportunity to have a great life. Although I do have to admit my parents were severely heartbroken upon hearing the news. I just believe procreating for the sake of "leaving a legacy" is quite vain and immature.
Certain women, especially minority (black, asian, hispanic\latin) seem too quick to write off someone such as myself upon finding out I'm snipped without letting me give a legitimate explanation. I am black and my actions seem to be taboo for my community which is absurd. Is it because of strong ties to their cultural and religious beliefs? I'm not the lest bit discouraged, just a bit curious as to why this is even an issue for society as a collective. I couldn't be more happy with my decision.
Amazing how you glossed right over the operative phrase, "certain mental issues." I'm guessing that he detected other aspects of your personality that were worth looking into and you blew him off.
Adoption is fine. But it is not the first choice for 99.99% of humanity who want children. Essentially what you are doing is denying a life partner the opportunity to pass down her genes to the next generation, and that's a big damned deal. It's neither vain nor immature. It's as instinctive to the human species as breathing, regardless of what your ideology here might be.
As for the rest of the world, how would they possibly know unless you advertised it? I mean to you have a t-shirt that says "Relax. I've Had A Vasectomy." emblazoned across the thing?
Big thumbs up to modestmike for doing the mature responsible thing and keeping the birth control firmly in his hands so that he doesn't have to hear the words "honey I forgot my pill" or something like that. More men need to step up to the plate and do this if they don't want kids.I was however surprised at your age that you found a doctor to do it.
I know this thread is over a year old but good for him. It's completely his decision and his only. Whatever makes him happy is all that counts. TRUST ME, I'd love to meet a guy who has the same interest (no kids) and has already been snipped. After STD tests are all good, no birth control. PERFECT!
My husband was 36 with 4 kids when we went in for his consult for a vasectomy.
The doctor told us that he was hesitant because of my husbands age (he used the example of something happening to me and my husband remarrying someone that wanted children) and because our reason for the procedure was that we had an "oops" one night when the condom broke...that it may be a rash decision.
It's not just the young men out there that are being told "wait".
Same goes for women who want their tubes tied. My friend was put through the ringer when she got hers done.
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