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I would have done it for my husband. Not a big deal. I get volunteered to do stuff all the time. My mom helped a friend paint and I got stuck with kid duty. I might be a little put off then but I always do it because I know that my friends and family do the same for me.
Did she clean the house every now and then at least?
She didn't have to. My wife's cousin who stays with us during the week handles all cooking and cleaning during the week, and takes my daughter to her activities (be they after school, or day camp). My wife and I pay her to do this, and my wife let her friend know she needed to work out compensation with her cousin with regards to cooking, cleaning and taking care of her child as well. My wife's friend did pay accordingly, and also gave my wife money to wards the house, so I can't complain about that.
My wife's friend continually FAILED to inform us of changes I.E. she spent one weekend in Washington D.C., and of course let us know Friday morning before she was leaving that she would NOT be taking her daughter with her. She further informed us that her daughter's father would pick her up on Sunday at 12 noon to spend he day with her. That Sunday we had to attend a memorial service for another relative and we had to be at the memorial by 1 p.m.. At 12:15 p.m. her father calls us to tell us he would not be able to pick her up until 2 p.m.. We had to then find something appropriate for her to change into and we arrived a half our late to the memorial. There were other incidents similar to this on and that is where the bulk of my complaint stems.
This is a case of one of my wife's friends making a life change (poorly executed, and poorly planned) as I have previously stated in theother post as well as this one, and the "safety" net that is my wife. My wife asked me to participate and I did willingly. I took a stand when I had enough, and TOLD her that I could no longer participate. I communicated my unwillingness to do something INSTEAD of having a nasty attitude, and acting out. Again I did my part which in my opinion is the kind of wishy washy things I thought I would have to go through with say my children, NOT some 40 year old woman who wants to live out her Eat, Pray, Love fantasy.
Eat Pray Love is all about narcissism and it certainly applies to this gal.
Hey you were nice and helpful and you went way beyond the call of duty. I think for your wife to press you further it is an "unreasonable expectation". Being the man of the house you also have a right to delineate boundaries.
Would not allow yourself to be manipulated into "feeling guilty".
As I said before this isn't your problem to solve, engineer, strategerize, eliminate or enable.
To me it seems the guest was the self-centered one. How can you expect people to just do everything for you like that - the use of a car, the free babysitting, free room and board? It sounds to me like the guest wants to be taken care of.
Adult relationships should be about give and take - what did the woman ever offer in return? She was on her way to becoming a moocher but the husband stopped it.
Its called sharing and caring. Do we all need a refresher course in kindergarten here or what? The future is unwritten. You don't know what she is or isn't going to do to help out them when she gets on her feet.
Adult relationships should ALSO be understanding and compassionate. Sometimes people fall in **** they can't get out of themselves.
Not getting your way for only 6 weeks and then having a fit about too is not exactly
I asked my boyfriend about this + the situation. He said:"He would not help a couple women move stuff?" And then he laughed. And I thought maybe he was siding with "no help" so I asked "what". "People just disgust me. I'm lazy but not that lazy."
He always does help people move though. He considers it a good workout if nothing else. I don't know why people make a big deal of it. Order a pizza and get some beers and make it moving party. Or you can pout all alone in your principles. I am sure thats much more fun and flattering than breaking a sweat carrying a few boxes etc.
Unhelpful people are perpetually miserable. Just something I noticed. And I always wonder why they are so unhelpful & self centered if its not making them happy. Its not fun for anyone else either.
Pick a new style and put on a happy faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.
~ jazz hands~
Its called sharing and caring. Do we all need a refresher course in kindergarten here or what? The future is unwritten. You don't know what she is or isn't going to do to help out them when she gets on her feet.
Adult relationships should ALSO be understanding and compassionate. Sometimes people fall in **** they can't get out of themselves.
Not getting your way for only 6 weeks and then having a fit about too is not exactly
I asked my boyfriend about this + the situation. He said:"He would not help a couple women move stuff?" And then he laughed. And I thought maybe he was siding with "no help" so I asked "what". "People just disgust me. I'm lazy but not that lazy."
He always does help people move though. He considers it a good workout if nothing else. I don't know why people make a big deal of it. Order a pizza and get some beers and make it moving party. Or you can pout all alone in your principles. I am sure thats much more fun and flattering than breaking a sweat carrying a few boxes etc.
Unhelpful people are perpetually miserable. Just something I noticed. And I always wonder why they are so unhelpful & self centered if its not making them happy. Its not fun for anyone else either.
Pick a new style and put on a happy faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.
~ jazz hands~
So because I don't want to help her move I'm not willing to help? What about the last six weeks? I did state what she did, but what I don't get is where I was "having a fit about it"? I described what she did SO you better understand the final decision I made. If ALL I was asked to do is help move her into the apartment then I would understand the whole making me feel guilty over not helping "the women" move the big boxes thing. I no longer fall for the "damsel in distress" thing unless its MY wife and daughter. Sorry, but she needs her own man for that one.
So because I don't want to help her move I'm not willing to help? What about the last six weeks? I did state what she did, but what I don't get is where I was "having a fit about it"? I described what she did SO you better understand the final decision I made. If ALL I was asked to do is help move her into the apartment then I would understand the whole making me feel guilty over not helping "the women" move the big boxes thing. I no longer fall for the "damsel in distress" thing unless its MY wife and daughter. Sorry, but she needs her own man for that one.
You drove a car around and paid someone else to clean and all of a sudden you think you are the next messiah. It just blow my mind.
Your choice to not help was out of spite.
So because I don't want to help her move I'm not willing to help? What about the last six weeks? I did state what she did, but what I don't get is where I was "having a fit about it"? I described what she did SO you better understand the final decision I made. If ALL I was asked to do is help move her into the apartment then I would understand the whole making me feel guilty over not helping "the women" move the big boxes thing. I no longer fall for the "damsel in distress" thing unless its MY wife and daughter. Sorry, but she needs her own man for that one.
Unfortunately the USA is being ruined by people with an entitlement mindset.
You can see how it's being twisted around to "you are the problem", "you owe", "you need to help more". There is not a thing about this grown woman you should be responsible for.
This is this other woman's problem. She needs to pay professional help or not. It's her problem, her issue. Probably part of this woman's problem is she needs to learn how to handle her own issues and responsibilities, not try to make it other peoples problems.
Well after six weeks of having to put up with my wife's best friend and her daughter she has found an apartment and is moving Saturday. She flew last night down to Atlanta to pick up her stuff and she is driving the U-haul up to NY to her new apartment. Everything is great except my wife now expects me to spend the day and help move her stuff into her new apartment. I was honest with my wife and told her I did my good deed by putting up with her friend, sharing my car, and taking her daughter places (when the child's father dropped the ball NUMEROUS times) and also dealing with the annoying fact that my wife's friend seldom gives advance notice when she needs (1. Her child picked up from day camp. 2. When she needs to borrow my car to run errands. 3. When she has to take care of those little things one has to do when one relocates from city to city such as enroll your child in school, or find adequate after school care while you are at work, but I digress.)
To put it plain and simple I'm tired. I was a good host for six weeks and now I want to enjoy my weekend off. As far as I'm concerned moving should be and is her problem. I choose not to make it my problem. My wife of course has volunteered the whole family to help her move. To avoid this I have decided to volunteer and do some OT at work. I figured if I have to do manual labor I may as well get paid for it. My wife is upset with me, but I told her I didn't want to help her friend move from the start. This time I can live with the outcome because I know I did the right thing and put up with being displaced for six weeks.
I agree but in your situation I'd be the first one helping get her out of your house LOL
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