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If he has that attitude, the woman can have him. He's worthless anyway.
Yeah, that whole, "if you don't do it, someone else will" stuff is nonsense. Society has this whole concept that women should be at each other's throats for men, and if one woman doesn't bend over backwards and kiss a man's arse, someone else gladly will because, OMG it's better than being *gasp* alone!
Of course, a man's company is oh, sooooooo worth bending over backwards and being a servant, maid, cook, and lackey for him. Doesn't matter if he's a good man. He just has to be a man. Please.
Then there's the attitude that having a man is somehow supposed to be some prize or mark of superiority, like, "I'll take him and you won't have him ha ha ha ha."
Uh, yeah, that just tells me you can't stand on your own, ever. You don't want a man, you need a man and you have no self-worth without one. Big pathetic difference.
And finally, that whole "if you don't do it, someone else will" just begs for someone, such as myself, to say, "Yep, that's what they say about [insert sexual practice you don't like, ie anal/threesomes/bondage], too." It's exactly the coercive, pseudothreatening tripe the patriarchy has used to oppress women and keep them barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen since before June Cleaver. "You're nothing if you're alone, and if you don't serve me, you'll be alone."
The bottom line is that if a man loves you, he loves you for you, not for your ability to clean a toilet, and if he leaves because some co-dependent is going to take joy in doing his smelly laundry and cleaning his pee off the rim, all I can say is, "Oh, no! NOT THE BRIAR PATCH!"
Whew, nothing chaps my hide like the glorification of Betty Crocker.
I don't see anything wrong for today's woman to do cooking and cleaning. And this is coming from someone who is very independent and lived on their own for many years before marrying. I've known how to cook since I was five years old, watching my grandmother. When I lived on my own, I had to cook my own food and clean my own condo. No one did it for me. I don't see why that would change when I got married. If a husband and wife team exist, there is no gender battling. Note I said TEAM. Most gals can tell the difference. The home was always my domain, by choice, so I clean. Now that we have a child, my husband is doing the "housewifely" duty of helping me cook and prep food. Women not knowing how to boil water or more than dust is just as bad as men who don't know how to do either. What were you doing during your uncoupled years? Living in filth and eating out?
I cannot believe that in this day and age of supposed equality for women alot of people still believe there is such a thing as women's work. For goodness sakes the husband and the wife should split the chores.
Why is it that after a large family gathering the men go and sit down and watch tv and the women clear the table and wash the dishes.....infuriates me to no end but i digress I'm getting off topic here.
Wow, I've been working for days and I come back to this sweet doozie of a thread
2mares and Avienne got massive reps for their straightforward, no holds barred replies.
Last time I looked at the calendar we were in the year 2010 and we didn't have to play the little woman anymore, kowtowing and laying down our own life for our family.
While we may not be able to do it all nor have it all, we are lucky we have options and choices to be independent and strong, to participate in life rather than be the bystanders.
There are no housewives anymore, there are either equal partners or someone is doing too much and the other one is a lazy bum.
It is up to each couple to decide on who does what so each feels appreciated and not tied down by the constraints of days gone by.
I do not do house wife things because I am so much more than that.
Why is it that after a large family gathering the men go and sit down and watch tv and the women clear the table and wash the dishes.....infuriates me to no end but i digress I'm getting off topic here.
Not in our family it don't. All my male relatives (actually DH side), cook, clean and all watch the kids, as do the women.
I do what I do because I want to, or the result is something I want. I'll even do something because it means a lot to my partner. I won't do anything because it a box someone decided was my space to be in.
I certainly do not believe that my performance of "X" tasks will keep my mate. I'm a sum of a lot traits, but mule is not one of them.
Lots of venting, good for you all. It is often needed. May I reaffirm the original question?
In reference to my daughters, I do not have any, only sons. That is why I was interested in how young women see this. I was sorry that it seemed that this young women decided to bail out of her marriage because her husband wanted and expected her to cook and keep a house along with her full time job. I have been doing this for more than 27 years and have really enjoyed it. I am more of a cake mix gal, but I put alot of effort and love into that dang cake. I also enjoy housework, I find it relaxing and rewarding. I know the patty wagon will be along at any time to take me to the funny farm.
Some post really have made me pause and think. I surely did not want to insult anyone and we all make the choices and decisions that work for us. Aren't we lucky to live in a time where there are multiply avenues for us as women. I went to school during desegregation and the beginning of Title Nine. The world keeps changing. I just hope everyone will allow themselves the absolute pleasure of a happy home. It is worth it without question. Best of luck to all and I have enjoyed our conversations.
Lots of venting, good for you all. It is often needed. May I reaffirm the original question?
In reference to my daughters, I do not have any, only sons. That is why I was interested in how young women see this. I was sorry that it seemed that this young women decided to bail out of her marriage because her husband wanted and expected her to cook and keep a house along with her full time job. I have been doing this for more than 27 years and have really enjoyed it. I am more of a cake mix gal, but I put alot of effort and love into that dang cake. I also enjoy housework, I find it relaxing and rewarding. I know the patty wagon will be along at any time to take me to the funny farm.
Some post really have made me pause and think. I surely did not want to insult anyone and we all make the choices and decisions that work for us. Aren't we lucky to live in a time where there are multiply avenues for us as women. I went to school during desegregation and the beginning of Title Nine. The world keeps changing. I just hope everyone will allow themselves the absolute pleasure of a happy home. It is worth it without question. Best of luck to all and I have enjoyed our conversations.
If you enjoyed it, more power to you. I just hope that your sons don't expect the women they date to be the same way. I will say that my wasband's mother was the stereotypical housewife, and she did much too much for her kids, which crippled them both as adults. The son (my wasband) was, well, you get the picture from my rants. Just helpless and entitled. The daughter was spoiled and ran up credit card debt on things like $8 toothbrushes. When her parents bailed her out of $22K in debt, the first thing she did was turn around and by a $200 jacket.
The young woman you mention had a very good reason for bailing on her marriage: She wasn't being treated with respect. She probably saw a life of toil and servitude stretching out before her, and it probably both angered and depressed her.
Life is too short for that. Three years of it was all I could take, and I'm glad I got out.
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