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Old 08-18-2010, 02:27 PM
 
Location: OKC
551 posts, read 1,274,213 times
Reputation: 405

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I have a friend who finally a year ago was able to leave her husband. He is still harrassing her. Has recently found out where she lives and has said he is going to come to her house and shoot her. She has called lawyer and cops and they say there is nothing she can do.

Now, she has just called my in tears because he posted all of her personal information on craigslist. It has been flagged and removed, but now she's getting text messages and such. Plus, her social and address was on the post. Again, is there nothing she can do?

I just would like some advice to give her. She has a five year old daughter that she's afraid she can't protect. This guy has already pulled a gun on her.

What legally can she do?

Thanks!
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:31 PM
Status: "Life gives you what you need to awaken" (set 5 days ago)
 
8,788 posts, read 6,077,303 times
Reputation: 18485
I find it hard to believe the Police and a lawyer have told her there is nothing that can be done to protect her but I am not familiar with US law.

If this really is the case then she needs to contact a Women's Refuge for advice. She may have to uproot and move to another area.
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:36 PM
 
5,019 posts, read 9,250,372 times
Reputation: 6756
National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE

They should be able to answer her/your questions.
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:37 PM
 
29,990 posts, read 21,034,176 times
Reputation: 12387
Quote:
Originally Posted by FourOhFive View Post
I have a friend who finally a year ago was able to leave her husband. He is still harrassing her. Has recently found out where she lives and has said he is going to come to her house and shoot her. She has called lawyer and cops and they say there is nothing she can do.

Now, she has just called my in tears because he posted all of her personal information on craigslist. It has been flagged and removed, but now she's getting text messages and such. Plus, her social and address was on the post. Again, is there nothing she can do?

I just would like some advice to give her. She has a five year old daughter that she's afraid she can't protect. This guy has already pulled a gun on her.

What legally can she do?

Thanks!

She should document his threats and take them to the police and also to court to get an order of protection. Simply put, she should keep going up the law enforcement chain of command until she gets that hearing for an order of protection.

Police have no duty to protect.

She should move to a location or an abused women's shelter where this ex-husband cannot find either her or her daughter. She'll need the help of an attorney if the ex-husband has any custody rights. Above all she must operate within the law.

If the husband has custody rights and threats/violent behavior can be proven, social services should be contacted via tha lawyer to have those custody rights removed.

If she is a law abiding individual who is eligible to own a gun she should get training for self-defense and be responsible for her own safety.

It is a very sad fact that women make bad choices for husbands and fathers of their children. Sometimes those consequences are very real and involve violence against women and their children.

If your friend is in Oklahoma: http://www.ocadvsa.org/member_programs.htm

Last edited by lifelongMOgal; 08-18-2010 at 02:42 PM.. Reason: link added
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon
2,014 posts, read 1,743,100 times
Reputation: 5170
Depending on the state, the Hubby's little Craigslist gambit sounds like a couple of Torts and a Felony or two. That's something he's already done, not something he's threatening to do. If it can be traced to him...

In any event, she needs to get LIFELOCK, or AVG's competing product, like yesterday.
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:51 PM
 
Location: 'Shangri-La 'mountains west of Wolf Creek, Oregon
12,850 posts, read 9,155,236 times
Reputation: 8059
Go to the nearest Woman's Abuse Shelter, IMMediately.
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,917 posts, read 11,705,933 times
Reputation: 5307
She can definitely get a restraining order that will restrict his proximity to her. My neighbor's girlfriend had the exact same thing happen and the exhusband has also threatened to kill my neighbor so he also got a restraining order as well as getting a permit to carry a weapon. She needs to document everything. I hope she printed what was on the internet because that in itself reveals that his intentions towards her are not good.
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 1,358,897 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by FourOhFive View Post
I have a friend who finally a year ago was able to leave her husband. He is still harrassing her. Has recently found out where she lives and has said he is going to come to her house and shoot her. She has called lawyer and cops and they say there is nothing she can do.

Now, she has just called my in tears because he posted all of her personal information on craigslist. It has been flagged and removed, but now she's getting text messages and such. Plus, her social and address was on the post. Again, is there nothing she can do?

I just would like some advice to give her. She has a five year old daughter that she's afraid she can't protect. This guy has already pulled a gun on her.

What legally can she do?

Thanks!
If he had actually pulled a gun on her in the past, then the story about the police saying there is nothing they can do is not true.
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Old 08-18-2010, 03:14 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,176 posts, read 12,671,417 times
Reputation: 13610
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I find it hard to believe the Police and a lawyer have told her there is nothing that can be done to protect her but I am not familiar with US law.

If this really is the case then she needs to contact a Women's Refuge for advice. She may have to uproot and move to another area.

Been there done this...its a game, he'll find her and continue the same. Its amazing how much these men are able to get away with and avoid prosecution.
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Old 08-18-2010, 03:33 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,176 posts, read 12,671,417 times
Reputation: 13610
A lot will depend on how much has been previously reported to the police, women in domestic violence keep to much to themselves, there either afraid to contact the police or foolishly tell themselves he'll stop and don't want to press charges.

She needs to talk to the police every single time and insist on reports, document or keep personal notes on everything, if hes phoning record the conversations and get a victims services advisor who knows the judicial system. She can also contact an attorney or legal aide.

I'm having trouble believing an officer told her theres nothing they can do, thats not true, shes being stalked harassed..but no... they can't protect her 24/7 and she should be in a shelter for domestic violence. There locations aren't disclosed and can offer her protection she and the child need. She also needs to go to family court.

Last edited by virgode; 08-18-2010 at 03:41 PM..
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