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Rude but true nevertheless. You need to stop making excuses and get out. I still don't understand why you are allowing your children to stay in this situation. You said their father would love to have them and would support them. Let him have them for now. Survive now and you can fight for them later. What I see is a selfish mother who thinks staying in this type of environment is a sacrifice when true sacrifice would be to let them get out of this situation. Once you can support yourself, you can get them back. I grew up in an abusive relationship and you know what, right now, I have no love for my mother. I lost total respect for her because she chose to stay in a marriage that was physically and emotionally abusive. She made us also stay and suffer along side with her because she was not brave enough to stand up on her own feet. And today, when my brother and I talk to her, she uses us as an excuse as to why she stayed in the marriage and likes to play the victim which makes me sick. GET OUT - your children will respect and understand the sacrifice you made for them.
Lady, That poster was not only rude by down right mean. You are talking about how your mother handled this type of situation but that doesn`t mean that Ready will stay in it. I believe that`s why she is reaching out right now. She is tired of it. You know, these type of abusers play a lot of mind games and some women fear leaving because the abuser threatens them. Some of these type of men will go after the woman after she left. Obviously your mother stayed in this situation and played the victim card but this is not the case with everyone.
Abusive relationship --- need any advice I can get.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cl723
Nite ryder, She is reaching out for help, not your critizism
Yes, I realize that. But people can't be helped that don't want to help themselves. Moving from one relationship to another and shacking up with a guy when you have two kids is not an answer to bettering yourself. I'm sorry, she needs more than just help, she needs a miracle. A person who keeps making bad life choices can not expect a good outcome. She is the only person that can help her situation. What can any one of us say to her that will help her? She needs to understand that she is the cause of these problems, and the only way to fix them is to change what she is doing.
Nite, right now she needs advice on getting out of her volitle situation. Not how she, in your words, screwed up her life. I`m sure your life hasn`t been perfect and you haven`t always made the right choices.
Hearing it from the prospective of someone growing up in this kind of environments not such a bad thing, the OP has said her children are happy and unaware of whats taking place. They know more than she realizes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cl723
Lady, That poster was not only rude by down right mean. You are talking about how your mother handled this type of situation but that doesn`t mean that Ready will stay in it. I believe that`s why she is reaching out right now. She is tired of it. You know, these type of abusers play a lot of mind games and some women fear leaving because the abuser threatens them. Some of these type of men will go after the woman after she left. Obviously your mother stayed in this situation and played the victim card but this is not the case with everyone.
I don't have any words of validation, support or advice for you because you don't deserve them. It's all been said and given already and you're still making excuses. There's plenty of women out there who have made it on their own working full time jobs, taking care of their children and earning their degrees at night.
I can only hope that your children's father finds out about this and gets them taken away from you for their sakes. Stop trying to glorify yourself to an internet audience by claiming to be the martyr in this situation. You have plenty of options and have done the only thing that shouldn't be an option; staying. You're a selfish person and a poor excuse of a mother.
You know, all you have done is show that you do not understand the complexities of living in an abusive relationship.
Often it is not so simplistic, and is a cycle and chain of events that lead a person down this path.
To think that those comments are helpful, is just ignorant on your behalf.
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Abusive relationship --- need any advice I can get.
