He called me fat. (loving, single, American, personality)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Being told that you're overweight is NECESSARY! It's especially necessary if you care about the other person and their health. Being overweight is very dangerous to one's health.
If your boyfriend was an alcoholic would you keep quiet? Why wouldn't you accept him for who he is? Don't perpetrate this double standard in the name of some politically correct BS!
Being overweight is becoming an epidemic in this country and a massive health concern because of all the political correctness being spread around of not telling overweight people that they are fat and need to change their habits.
Now, I do agree that this man's approach was not proper, he should've encouraged her to lose weight the proper way instead of being derisive with his language but the fact remains that he should communicate that she is overweight and needs to lose it!
Newsflash: Overweight people have mirrors. They know they're overweight. It does not need to be pointed out to them by you or anyone else, so knock off the self-appointed fat police routine.
The only constructive way to discuss someone's weight with them is in terms of their health, happiness, and longevity, out of genuine love for the person--and that requires that the relationship be solid, stable, close, sincere, and trusting. Anything else just comes from the unhelpful criticizer's own selfish motivations. "Yeah, fatty, lose weight so I can get it up and get my rocks off/not be embarrassed to be seen with you in public/stroke my ego by showing off a hot piece or arse to my friends, etc."
so i told you the truth, which i dont even think is that bad! i think its in the top 30% all by itself, and when its related to you, it goes way up to the top, JUST because its yours. if it wasnt yours, the honest truth is its in the top 30%. also the honest truth is that cause its yours, it goes up to the top. i had every reason to tell you what i was actually thinking. i had no reason to lie.
if i am anything, i am an *******. an ******* that wants to tell you whats on his mind, and believe we can make it through it. Thats why i didnt deny looking at other girls. thats why i wanted to explain to you why i do. thats why i wanted to tell you exactly what i think about your body. i dont want to avoid problems, specially when it comes to my relationships. i want to meet them head on and get through them. I realize that makes me an *******. But thats who i am, and you had a year to figure that out. If you dont love that about me, you never loved me.
---30% means of all the bodies hes ever seen...and if he keeps seeing attractive ones, my percentage will continue to go down.
so i told you the truth, which i dont even think is that bad! i think its in the top 30% all by itself, and when its related to you, it goes way up to the top, JUST because its yours. if it wasnt yours, the honest truth is its in the top 30%. also the honest truth is that cause its yours, it goes up to the top. i had every reason to tell you what i was actually thinking. i had no reason to lie.
if i am anything, i am an *******. an ******* that wants to tell you whats on his mind, and believe we can make it through it. Thats why i didnt deny looking at other girls. thats why i wanted to explain to you why i do. thats why i wanted to tell you exactly what i think about your body. i dont want to avoid problems, specially when it comes to my relationships. i want to meet them head on and get through them. I realize that makes me an *******. But thats who i am, and you had a year to figure that out. If you dont love that about me, you never loved me.
---30% means of all the bodies hes ever seen...and if he keeps seeing attractive ones, my percentage will continue to go down.
The guy is being honest. He really likes you, and thinks your body is good enough, but certainly not all that.
You either live with it, lose some weight to become better looking to him, or find someone who thinks you are hot as-is. Those are your 3 choices. Personally I think you should go with option #3, but its your choice to make.
This is not a permanent relationship you are in, that much is obvious to me at my age now... I'm guessing you are in your early 20s. You'll remember this one, trust me.
i disagree: he stays with the OP because he is too lazy and insecure to find someone who fits his physical qualities and his emotional qualities that he wants in a woman.
our OP has maturity, but she also has self confidence issues, the boyfriend is unknowingly taking advantage of these confidence issues by making these honest (but distasteful) remarks.
i agree with your premise that the boyfriend is just being honest, but he doesn't realize it hurts her. he is angry that he can't have what he wants (a model girlfriend with the brains of our OP) so he'll stick with brains and criticize the rest.
i have been on both ends of this type of relationship. i've been the critic and i've been criticized. it hurts to be in that situation, but the fear of being alone is greater than the emotional pain experienced in the relationship.
however, after a night of drinking and careless sex (with the boyfriend) we felt better, and i'm betting after a good bed session our OP feels better as well, until her boyfriend goes back to making his dumb*** remarks again. then the cycle starts all over again.
This. Omg this. OP, ignore every other post here. Both I and this person have lived this experience (both sides of the coin). At some point you or he needs to have the strength to move on and let this relationship die.
It seems like more and more, we are becoming a society of retards that have absolutely no common sense. The woman is overweight but hey don't you ever call her that, let try not to hurt her feelings, how about calling a BBW? Big Beautiful Woman, sure, because laziness has become a way of life for a lot of people, so lets make everybody feel good about themselves, no matter how pathetic they are!Hey, being overweight is not that bad, nevermind the fact that you double your chances of having heart attack, developing diabetes, dying young but hey, your a BBW! Nothing is wrong with you! If guys are not attracted to your big belly, then something is wrong with them!
I mean he seen my body type before we started dating. If he wasnt attracted to my body, he should have not furthered this relationship. Why would i have to lose more weight? I was fine with it until he tore me down...
I agree. It would be a little different if you had gained a bunch of weight after meeting him, but that is not the case.
He's not the right man for you. The sooner you come to grips with that fact, the sooner you'll be free to find someone who loves everything about you.
I think it's time to let this one go and move on. NEXT!
It seems like more and more, we are becoming a society of retards that have absolutely no common sense. The woman is overweight but hey don't you ever call her that, let try not to hurt her feelings, how about calling a BBW? Big Beautiful Woman, sure, because laziness has become a way of life for a lot of people, so lets make everybody feel good about themselves, no matter how pathetic they are!Hey, being overweight is not that bad, nevermind the fact that you double your chances of having heart attack, developing diabetes, dying young but hey, your a BBW! Nothing is wrong with you! If guys are not attracted to your big belly, then something is wrong with them!
Hold on a sec... under other circumstances I would agree with you. But here, she was fat from the beginning. (My understanding anyway.) If he didn't like fat girls, he should not have dated her to begin with. Stepping up to her as a fat girl, then complaining she is fat a year later, is ridiculous.
At 22, image is still somewhat important. Have you gained since meeting? If so I would hit the gym and the weights. Because if its not for him it will be for you (most importantly) & the next guy you meet.
It seems like more and more, we are becoming a society of retards that have absolutely no common sense. The woman is overweight but hey don't you ever call her that, let try not to hurt her feelings, how about calling a BBW? Big Beautiful Woman, sure, because laziness has become a way of life for a lot of people, so lets make everybody feel good about themselves, no matter how pathetic they are!Hey, being overweight is not that bad, nevermind the fact that you double your chances of having heart attack, developing diabetes, dying young but hey, your a BBW! Nothing is wrong with you! If guys are not attracted to your big belly, then something is wrong with them!
You're right, but you're wrong, hes not approaching this from a health standpoint, its not visually appealing to him and thats where there is a difference.
There are other ways to go about it than telling someone flat out they're fat, wheres your common sense.
It seems like more and more, we are becoming a society of retards that have absolutely no common sense. The woman is overweight but hey don't you ever call her that, let try not to hurt her feelings, how about calling a BBW? Big Beautiful Woman, sure, because laziness has become a way of life for a lot of people, so lets make everybody feel good about themselves, no matter how pathetic they are!Hey, being overweight is not that bad, nevermind the fact that you double your chances of having heart attack, developing diabetes, dying young but hey, your a BBW! Nothing is wrong with you! If guys are not attracted to your big belly, then something is wrong with them!
Nice. Real nice. It's a wonder you can't seem to attract any classy women.
Hey, sleeping around and being a manwhore isn't that bad either. So you increase your chances of contracting an STD and dying young, but hey, you're a player, right? Nothing wrong with that!
Overweight people know they are overweight. Nobody needs your (general you, of course) dumb arse pointing it out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
