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Old 05-12-2008, 02:36 AM
 
Location: USA
1,246 posts, read 2,079,396 times
Reputation: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamInShape View Post
Is it ok to flirt with other people when you are married?? If the answer is yes--how far do we go with the flirting??? Touching hand??? Winks?? Flirty Smile??? Blowing kisses???
I haven't read through all the responses but in my opinion. NO, it is not okay to do so and married couples should refrain from doing so. Even as innocent as the person may think the flirting can be, it can easily escalate into something more and just as easily begin to chip away at the marriage relationship and the security/trust level of their partner. It is just not worth it and should be avoided.

As for touching hands, winks and blowing kisses... my opinion is that goes beyond innocent flirting for anybody.. married or not. Flirty smiles, however, can be a delicate one. What one person's may consider a flirty smile, can be just a friendly smile in another person's opinion. This I would think would need to be addressed between the couple if one felt a gave the appearance of something beyond simple friendliness.
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:29 AM
 
681 posts, read 1,748,840 times
Reputation: 504
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamInShape View Post
Is it ok to flirt with other people when you are married?? If the answer is yes--how far do we go with the flirting??? Touching hand??? Winks?? Flirty Smile??? Blowing kisses???
It is NEVER okay to flirt with other people when you're married. It sort of depends upon what you define as "flirting"... but I'd say that all of the four things you mentioned above constitute "flirting".

I figure it like this... it's never okay to do something with/to a member of the opposite gender when your spouse is NOT there if it's something that your spouse wouldn't like to witness if he/she WERE there.
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines..
1,939 posts, read 3,861,587 times
Reputation: 742
Wow, I guess it depends whats flirting. Personally, my husband will call waitresses, hun or dear, I hate that. It drives me crazy. It only happens on occassion, but he gets upset when I get angry. Ohh if I called a waiter or bartender something like that, Id be in deep water. I think everyone wants to know they still can get attention from the opposite sex, but there is limit. Touching, winking, sexual gestures of any kind or soo wrong. But I think being friendly is acceptable..
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Old 05-12-2008, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Mile High City
10,279 posts, read 10,976,417 times
Reputation: 8885
Flirting is fine to a certain extent. If it goes any further or if I were to ever feel uncomfortable, I'm woman enough to voice my opinion right there and then. Usually the women are way too intimidated by me to even think of flirting with my blob, er, man.
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Old 05-12-2008, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Minneeeesoootah
3,489 posts, read 4,371,235 times
Reputation: 3315
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamInShape View Post
Is it ok to flirt with other people when you are married?? If the answer is yes--how far do we go with the flirting??? Touching hand??? Winks?? Flirty Smile??? Blowing kisses???
It is ok to flirt as in being slightly extra smiley. NO hand holding or kiss blowing or winking. That is crossing the line.
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Old 05-12-2008, 08:23 AM
 
Location: In the woods next to the ocean
3,987 posts, read 8,358,869 times
Reputation: 6025
Communication can be either formal, professional, casual, personal, or intimate. Regardless of the gender of the communicants, it should be open and honest.

Flirting, sexual innuendoes, and other such psuedo-sexual games cheapens the communication and makes the party at whom it's aimed into a potential sex object, if only on the level of fantasy.

I find it demeaning.
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Old 05-12-2008, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,079 posts, read 8,604,723 times
Reputation: 3616
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamInShape View Post
Is it ok to flirt with other people when you are married?? If the answer is yes--how far do we go with the flirting??? Touching hand??? Winks?? Flirty Smile??? Blowing kisses???
Here is my response and I think a lot of folks will feel the same... just a guess.
By nature I'm very flirtatious, so much so that I don't even notice and my kids laugh at me all the time as does my fiance. (kids are adults). I just have that kind of personality and I could see how the wrong person would take it as something more when in fact, it's just my personality. I get along well with everyone and everyone that I mean, in general likes me. (or so I'd like to believe), LOL
Anyway, I do flirt but it's more with the eyes, body language and smile. I would never purposely flirt with someone (unless I was single) just to be a flirt.
When I first signed on here, a man right away started sending me emails which to me were a little over the top having not known me other than my posts. He is married - I would imagine if I were his wife, I'd be quite peeved that my hubby was randomly flirting in a very suggestive manner with other women.
That kind of stuff is a big turn off. If it's your personality and you just are that way then fine but if you're in a committed relationship, then other than friendly banter, I think the flirting should be kept between your mate and yourself.
I would certainly never touch another person in a suggestive manner, although again - my personality is that I am a very touchy-feely person, so woman or man, who Im talking to - I might put my hand on their arm or hand when joking or something of that nature. If you are taking flirting beyond that, with the touching, kissing, holding hands then it's not flirting, to me that's cheating. I'm sure my fiance would feel the same way. Also, the blowing kisses thing suggests you want something more and to me again, it's not cool and a little more than flirting.
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:53 PM
 
3 posts, read 6,471 times
Reputation: 12
Default Flirting is a natural part of human life.

Geez, to the person who thinks flirting is a sign of insecurity...I'm sorry but I think when the spouse of the flirter gets upset, they're the one who is insecure. When you flirt with someone, you're one of the most secure people out there. I think flirting is a natural part of life. I am very happily married and I love flirting. My hubby does too. If you are NOT secure enough with your love then flirting might be a problem. At least for the insecure spouse.

I can't believe all the women/guys here getting upset at their spouses saying "hon" to the waitress or being over friendly to another person. If they're doing it in FRONT of you, it is NOT disrespectful. It's better to do it in front of you because they feel secure enough in your relationship.
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:54 PM
 
Location: southern california
49,278 posts, read 45,802,045 times
Reputation: 40363
only where people have good boundaries. southern flirting is ok. don't do it here.
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Old 05-17-2008, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,238 posts, read 26,298,625 times
Reputation: 10565
My wife danced with other guys when we went out. Didn't bother me any--I don't like dancing, she did.

She had a guy get a little fresh, and she put the kibosh on it right away--pointed me out. She asked why I didn't "help her out". Why? Because she was doing just fine on her own. Had she NEEDED me, I would have acted THEN. But why start a fight over "nothing"?
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