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Old 05-16-2012, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
1,298 posts, read 1,034,572 times
Reputation: 1539
Well...finally Something I KNOW about. Trial and error. As a step-parent, here is my advice. Treat all children fairly...same chores, etc. Never play favorites. As with exes, I have had plenty of ups and downs with bonus daughter's mom, (threads on here). But, I do not interject myself into this situations, I keep my mouth shut unless asked for my opinion. It's the best way, and yes, I have a sore tongue.

But, it's paid off...me and my childrens dad and my hubby gets along, as I do with his wife..my hubby's ex, I just plain ole ignore her. Again, each situation is different...take it day by day.
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:01 AM
 
Location: US
5,148 posts, read 5,270,822 times
Reputation: 5137
I think I am going to speak with a lawyer before I ever have a kid to avoid this BS mess that can happen. Ugh. Contract to keep it nice and civil.

Something like:
http://maiamidwifery.com/downloads/P...her_Father.pdf

Anyone have experience with that type of situation and written down official agreements that address the details?(sorta the prenup of breeding i guess)
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:14 AM
 
13,116 posts, read 11,729,542 times
Reputation: 7518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
I think I am going to speak with a lawyer before I ever have a kid to avoid this BS mess that can happen. Ugh. Contract to keep it nice and civil.

Something like:
http://maiamidwifery.com/downloads/P...her_Father.pdf

Anyone have experience with that type of situation and written down official agreements that address the details?(sorta the prenup of breeding i guess)
I don't know that you can? You just gotta hope and pray if you divorce, that your husband pixs a sensible, mature and confident woman for a new wife...
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:15 AM
 
1,058 posts, read 714,170 times
Reputation: 1032
If 2 people are able to remain friends after a break up, either they are still in love or never truly were.
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Old 05-16-2012, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
1,298 posts, read 1,034,572 times
Reputation: 1539
I agree, Ohio. BUT, Iloved one, but after the divorce, I didn't like his arse AT ALL.
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Old 05-16-2012, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Suburbs Of Memphis, TN
330 posts, read 232,028 times
Reputation: 353
Quote:
Originally Posted by round4 View Post
Well...finally Something I KNOW about. Trial and error. As a step-parent, here is my advice. Treat all children fairly...same chores, etc. Never play favorites. As with exes, I have had plenty of ups and downs with bonus daughter's mom, (threads on here). But, I do not interject myself into this situations, I keep my mouth shut unless asked for my opinion. It's the best way, and yes, I have a sore tongue.

But, it's paid off...me and my childrens dad and my hubby gets along, as I do with his wife..my hubby's ex, I just plain ole ignore her. Again, each situation is different...take it day by day.

^^I agree you gotta take each situation and handle it the way it works for you and your family(kids especially), and absolutely take things day-by-day!!

A guy I dated years back, had two boys. Their mom wasn't really around much, but she would just show up at our house, when their dad wasn't home and want to see the kids, make empty promises and never come when she was scheduled, nor call ahead of time- needless to say we had words a few times and never saw eye to eye. I acted in the best way I could for the benefit of the boys. We were civil to one another when the kids were around, but if it were just her and I; we woulda had it out!! My daughter's dad and the guy I was dating were the same way, they were civil when the kids were around, but if they were to be face to face on the street with no kids around, it woulda been ugly!

I highly commend those of you who are able to have a good relationship with your ex or the ex of your SO. That speaks highly of all the adults involved, and benefits the children greatly. I think it also allows each parent to be comfortable at events/celebrations as well as opens the door for much needed co-parent communication!! Good Job!!
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:29 PM
 
18,612 posts, read 14,204,171 times
Reputation: 15319
Boundries? Yeah, stay the hell out of my life. And pray you never cross my path in public. If you do, do not approach me, talk to me or otherwise think I am a friend. There is nothing to say to one another. If she is dumb enough to talk to me I will tell her to **** off and die.
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:42 PM
 
18,868 posts, read 14,942,728 times
Reputation: 24844
I talk to my ex about two or three times a year. It is usually a very focused, directed conversation about kids.

We don't have a "relationship". I have known the man for 35 years..we are friendly....but not enmeshed.

I was involved with someone...I felt like I was his "second" wife in a strange Menage a trois..with his first wife. It was completely enmeshed. They saw each other all the time. Talked on the phone constantly...he expected me to go to her house all the time for family command performances...

Really...I understand being friendly with ex...I am friendly with mine...we don't fight. We are civil. But I don't know what is going on with him on an hourly basis....heck..we are not even Facebook friends.

I am not jealous....but I felt like this guy had unfinished business with his ex.....I left him to work it out.
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:44 PM
 
18,612 posts, read 14,204,171 times
Reputation: 15319
There are times to be civil with an ex. The main case is when there are kids involved. Anything else... There is no reason for contact. There is a clear reason why they are an ex.
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:52 AM
 
Location: On the Ohio River in Western, KY
3,322 posts, read 3,134,156 times
Reputation: 3058
All I will say is that I miss my ex...





































...but my aim is getting better daily!
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