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trust me... ive been to therapy so i really dont need to hear that again... nothing seems to work.. its been about 2 1/2 years and i think of her daily..
Sorry to hear it didn't work for you but you have to know this behavior is not productive to you moving forward with your life. She left you and regardless of the reasons why, plain and simple....if she wanted to be with you she would have.
Do you really think, considering the way she left you, she's worthy of such "memorialization"?
trust me... ive been to therapy so i really dont need to hear that again... nothing seems to work.. its been about 2 1/2 years and i think of her daily..
You're not the only one, I think about my ex pretty often and it's been 2 years. I think that's also partly due to talking to him a bit not that long ago. It was also the defining relationship of my adult life so far, and you just don't forget a relationship of that length and meaning.
They aren't necessarily particularly upsetting thoughts at this point, but sometimes they do make me a bit glum. Thinking about someone you were so deeply involved with isn't unnatural or unhealty, it only becomes a problem if it's making you unhappy, or it becomes obsessive, or is in any other way impeding your life.
This is despite being in a relationship with someone else, so I can say that involvement with another is not a guarenteed way to solve your issues. It can help a lot if your last involvement was not serious, but if you have emotional issues regarding your last relationship, casual sex is not going to help at all, at best it will be a distraction (at worst it will make it worse) and then when it's over everything you distracted yourself from will still be waiting for you to resolve.
i dont want to sound weak but i continue to put so much thought into a person who left me over two years ago. i saw the red flags, ignored them and now im paying the price for it. i still feel awful about it and like it is holding me back from being happy and living a fulfilling life. I've tried everything... now i pretty much walk around and am desprate, its hard to enjoy life, hobbies and friends because i want a girlfriend so bad. im 27 and feel like ill never have love again. what a mess
i dont want to sound weak but i continue to put so much thought into a person who left me over two years ago. i saw the red flags, ignored them and now im paying the price for it. i still feel awful about it and like it is holding me back from being happy and living a fulfilling life. I've tried everything... now i pretty much walk around and am desprate, its hard to enjoy life, hobbies and friends because i want a girlfriend so bad. im 27 and feel like ill never have love again. what a mess
Why do you want a GF so badly? How would it be fulfilling in your life? Be honest.
Also, how are your relationships with your female family members? Do you have a decent amount of female friends?
i dont want to sound weak but i continue to put so much thought into a person who left me over two years ago. i saw the red flags, ignored them and now im paying the price for it. i still feel awful about it and like it is holding me back from being happy and living a fulfilling life. I've tried everything... now i pretty much walk around and am desprate, its hard to enjoy life, hobbies and friends because i want a girlfriend so bad. im 27 and feel like ill never have love again. what a mess
Are you still in contact with your ex? I can't remember if you mentioned that, or not. Yesterday I blocked my ex's email address. That was really, really hard to do, but I think the minimal contact we were having was keeping me from moving on. I mean, it's only been since February for us, and it's still pretty raw for both of us; he broke up with me when I was down in Chile visiting him. The day before I came back to the states, he blindsided me, tearfully telling me he wasn't going to be able to move to the states, we weren't going to get married, it was over. He was denied his visa, a year before, and when it came time for him to give it another shot, he was too afraid to make the move to a new country. So I made the 16+ hour trip back (including a layover) in a total haze. There's more to it than that, but I don't want to take over your thread.
If you have any contact with her at all... stop. Because you aren't ever going to heal. Tell friends not to update you about her, make sure you can't see her facebook or anything. It's so hard to do, I know. But I think it's the only way.
Are you still in contact with your ex? I can't remember if you mentioned that, or not. Yesterday I blocked my ex's email address. That was really, really hard to do, but I think the minimal contact we were having was keeping me from moving on. I mean, it's only been since February for us, and it's still pretty raw for both of us; he broke up with me when I was down in Chile visiting him. The day before I came back to the states, he blindsided me, tearfully telling me he wasn't going to be able to move to the states, we weren't going to get married, it was over. He was denied his visa, a year before, and when it came time for him to give it another shot, he was too afraid to make the move to a new country. So I made the 16+ hour trip back (including a layover) in a total haze. There's more to it than that, but I don't want to take over your thread.
If you have any contact with her at all... stop. Because you aren't ever going to heal. Tell friends not to update you about her, make sure you can't see her facebook or anything. It's so hard to do, I know. But I think it's the only way.
I am no longer in contact with her, but often find myself thinking of the good times, sorting through pictures and watching the old home movies. Sometimes i creep around on the net to see what she is doing, went on her facebook the other night (yes i know) and she still has pics posted of us. shes in CA and i moved to NY and i just do not meet women i really want to date. my relationships with the females in my fam are great. however, my dad left when i was young and i always hoped he would accept me and never did and now i pretty much walking around hoping a woman will accept me for who i am. therapists have told me that this is my problem, i am scared by my father's neglect and now i attempt validation with every girl i meet.
just like Boodhabunny says it can take years to get over it... im not nuts... it just depends on the feelings involved and what really went down. when a person gets left for someone else that can leave emotional scarring and it can take years to heal.
To be clear, I don't think it's healthy or productive for it to take years. I was emotionally "stuck", and I believe you are too. It's not a good place to be.
I was stuck in my belief that I was the victim. I held on to that belief because I didn't want to accept my share of responsibility.
In my case, I eventually became "unstuck" after a friend made some very harsh (yet truthful) remarks to me. I didn't appreciate it at the time but her words hurt and they jolted me out of my emotional fog enough to see that she was right. It was a turning point for me, and I wish I could have dealt with it years sooner than I did.
Life is short, my friend. Enjoy it while you can. Why give someone else (someone who doesn't love you) the power to prevent you from living fully?
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