Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
- Last night my new girlfriend confessed that she had had sex with her ex before. I told her that I didn't care about that because she did that because of love. Then she said "let's break up! I'm not a virgin anymore. I don't deserve your love, you deserve a better girl". I think everyone has his or her sad past, but the most important thing is we gotta forget the past and look to the future. I really do not care about her past, I just wanna have a good and long relationship with her. What am I supposed to do?
- Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot in advance!
Was she supposed to be a virgin when she met you ? Sounds as though she is looking to get out of a relationship she isn't too happy with ... And, that would be with you. Why would you settle on someone who doesn't want to be with you ?
You say she is a "new" girlfriend ... I would say the first six months are the fresh, and courting period of any relationship. People are on their best behavior in the beginning and then their guard starts coming down, and true colors start shining through- whether those colors are the same, better, or they transform into a big hairy beast is another story. But, this is "new" and I would say, she is feeling something that is different from what you are feeling.
With that, find someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. The person who says they don't care seems to have all the power, and right now, that would be her.
If you have one foot in the past, one foot in the present, you're going to pee all over today- and maybe that's what's going on .... Move on.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Sounds like she's trying to get you to break it off so she doesn't have to. I'd cut the line and let her go. Life is too short to spend it wanting someone who doesn't want you back.
OK, my first instinct is to join with the crowd and say break it off.
BUT, there may be a cross-cultural thing going on here. I have to ask, where is your girlfriend from, originally? Some cultures place such a heavy emphasis on virginity that women are told they are worthless if they are not virgins, regardless of the reason. She may be sincere in thinking she's not good enough for you. (I'm not saying she isn't worthy of you, just that she may honestly believe it to be so.) In that case, if you want to stay together, it'll take some time and effort to reassure her, but I'd say stick it out, if you're actually into her.
On the other hand, she may be trying to do the reverse breakup.
go have sex with her ex, and call it even. wait, no.
perhaps she wanted you to get mad at her when she did that.
she probably feels like she cheated on you and wants some form of recognition that she did something wrong because she feels you are too laid back.
maybe grabbing some red wine and dominantly expressing your distaste in what she did will make her feel secure, and make her feel like you care about the relationship. or hell, maybe she just wants a good fight for the make up sex after.
^possibly lots of backlash for that one, but when i'm with a woman, she wants me to be a man not a girlfriend.
Are you a virgin by chance? Maybe she thought your first time should be shared with another virgin? I doubt she's pushing you away because of any cultural guilt. Sounds more like she's looking for an excuse to break it off.
All you can do is let her know that you don't care about her past and you want to move forward and create your own memories and experiences with her. If she insists on breaking it off, let her go. It's early enough in the relationship that you can recover and move on with minimal heartache.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
wait, no.
