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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
I suppose. But turns out he knew his wife pretty well, didn't he?
Let's just say his suspicions paid off. I don't know how well anyone can really know another person, no matter how long you've been together. I don't even claim to know siblings and parents that well. Circumstances can bring out a side to people we never knew existed--that they, themselves, may never have known existed--but that's another topic.
Last edited by Whyte Byrd; 09-02-2010 at 09:26 AM..
A man is as faithful as his options. A man can't run fast enough from pootang. It's easy for y'all (women) to say no, y'all get offered sex atleast once a day. Men are lucky to get offered once a month.
Affairs don't happen by accident. Long before the initial encounter, the seeds of doubt are planted that a need isn't being fulfilled within a marriage, be it true or not...and so the subconscious begins searching for ways to patch the hole.....some reconnect with their partner. Others reach outside the marriage and the affair is born.
We are rudementary in our understanding of how powerful our mind and emotions work in unison to balance out our happiness in life.....ask anyone who has fought an urge (be it sexual orientation, career direction, etc) and finally gave in...they are the happiest they have ever been and find going against their natural grain was grueling......now I'm not saying that affairs should be commended because someone is following their heart but that when the mind calls out for something different, you need to examine the "whys" before the "whoopee"....no one ever is better after an affair....and I have made a pact with my husband that if the urge comes up, tell me upfront and we'll work things out or walk away....
So again, affairs don't just happen. There is a trail of it's beginning that can go back years and because of our ability to block out what we often know is a difficult perdicament, when one does turn from their marriage, it SEEMS like a came out of nowhere but, ultimately, a weak link was there for a while, waiting to be sparked....
Sex addicts would be an exception to this rule IMO but that is an entire different thread titled "Why Did Tiger Throw Away His Perfect Life?"
Affairs don't happen by accident. Long before the initial encounter, the seeds of doubt are planted that a need isn't being fulfilled within a marriage, be it true or not...and so the subconscious begins searching for ways to patch the hole.....some reconnect with their partner. Others reach outside the marriage and the affair is born.
We are rudementary in our understanding of how powerful our mind and emotions work in unison to balance out our happiness in life.....ask anyone who has fought an urge (be it sexual orientation, career direction, etc) and finally gave in...they are the happiest they have ever been and find going against their natural grain was grueling......
So again, affairs don't just happen. There is a trail of it's beginning that can go back years and because of our ability to block out what we often know is a difficult perdicament, when one does turn from their marriage, it SEEMS like a came out of nowhere but, ultimately, a weak link was there for a while, waiting to be sparked....
Sex addicts would be an exception to this rule IMO but that is an entire different thread titled "Why Did Tiger Throw Away His Perfect Life?"
Good post.
You usually know feelings are there waaaaaay before something happens. You feel the tugs of unhappiness waaaaaay before your heart and mind starts wandering. You may or may not be able to articulate it. Maybe if more people spent time understanding why they felt a certain way, they wouldn't be so quick to run out and act on their new feelings.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltownusa
Affairs don't happen by accident. Long before the initial encounter, the seeds of doubt are planted that a need isn't being fulfilled within a marriage, be it true or not...and so the subconscious begins searching for ways to patch the hole.....some reconnect with their partner. Others reach outside the marriage and the affair is born.
We are rudementary in our understanding of how powerful our mind and emotions work in unison to balance out our happiness in life.....ask anyone who has fought an urge (be it sexual orientation, career direction, etc) and finally gave in...they are the happiest they have ever been and find going against their natural grain was grueling......now I'm not saying that affairs should be commended because someone is following their heart but that when the mind calls out for something different, you need to examine the "whys" before the "whoopee"....no one ever is better after an affair....and I have made a pact with my husband that if the urge comes up, tell me upfront and we'll work things out or walk away....
So again, affairs don't just happen. There is a trail of it's beginning that can go back years and because of our ability to block out what we often know is a difficult perdicament, when one does turn from their marriage, it SEEMS like a came out of nowhere but, ultimately, a weak link was there for a while, waiting to be sparked....
Sex addicts would be an exception to this rule IMO but that is an entire different thread titled "Why Did Tiger Throw Away His Perfect Life?"
Well said. Except, there is no 'perfect life'. I know a lot of men think he must have had a perfect life because his wife was beautiful but apparently, beauty isn't enough to maintain a marriage. Not that she did anything wrong. Just saying, we're outside looking in. Things are never really as they appear.
Well said. Except, there is no 'perfect life'. I know a lot of men think he must have had a perfect life because his wife was beautiful but apparently, beauty isn't enough to maintain a marriage. Not that she did anything wrong. Just saying, we're outside looking in. Things are never really as they appear.
I know. My Tiger comment was tongueincheek.....
I think his entire life has been a fabrication of what's preceived as perfect in society so those of us who struggle with the basics can only scratch our heads when the Tiger's of the world fall so hard: "Hey the guy had it ALL...What happened??????"
It's the eternal Catch 22: Money will make me happy: Many with money aren't. Falls along the lines of the Hierarchy of Needs.....
If we could just grasp the fact that happiness is not defined monetary wealth but by contentment of life and stop oggling the richest of the world and realize it is the happiest man who has the most wealth, wouldn't life be sweeter?
Now enough channeling the Dalai Lama.....back to Affairs 101
Last edited by Fallingwater79; 09-02-2010 at 09:40 AM..
I agree that it's not like tripping over a rake. But if you are proposing that we are never to have friends of the opposite sex or hang out with our coworkers, I will have to disagree.
The hotel and dating websites...that's different.
Nah, I have male friends. I have walls in place to make sure things are not capable of going further than they should though. (e.g. I never go out drinking one on one with a guy, if I am the least bit attracted to someone other than my husband, I make sure we are never alone, etc)
That said, I go out to lunch daily with male coworkers. It's just always in a group setting with at least one other person, or it's someone whom my husband knows and is friends with and is comfortable with me being around, who I have no attraction to. Some people might not need that extra precaution, but I'd rather be too careful and miss out on a happy hour than get caught up in something I shouldn't be doing.
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