U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 09-02-2010, 05:53 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 19,229,508 times
Reputation: 5487

Advertisements

A friend found this and emailed it to me just for fun so I just thought I would share. I don't condone cheating but sometimes it is inevitable so if you are thinking about it, you might find this useful.



I am a late 30's married, educated, professional , handsome male and I have had numerous affairs. Right or wrong, it is what it is. The following is a list of must-do's if you plan on having an affair and not getting caught. All of the following are based on firsthand lessons learned:

1. Date/sleep with only people who are also married. Single men/women are nothing but trouble. While the logistics may be easier, they are never satisfied with the amount of time you can spend with them, they become jealous of your significant other, and they have nothing to lose and generally do not care much about getting caught. And, unless they are perfectly willing to date you despite the fact you are married, it involves creating elaborate lies about being separated and all that nonsense. That's not to mention the fact that once your single lover finds out you're lying, they usually go straight to your spouse to "get even". Other married people offer protection in that they also generally do not wish to be found out. Not to mention the fact that there is a reasonable expectation amongst the two of you that responsibilities may make either of you unavailable. Cancellations are not held against you like they are with single people.

2. Never use your own home or the other person's home for your activities. While it may be more expensive, there is zero chance of your significant other walking in on you if you are in a hotel with the door locked. No surprise returns at the last minute to worry about. Additionally, having your lover in your home inevitably means there is evidence left behind. The scent of them in your bed, a hair that is a different color than your spouse's, a forgotten item of clothing.

3. When arranging for a hotel, never use your credit card to reserve it. Hotels will often tell you "the card is only used to hold the room, no charges will be made." Inevitably, some retard at the hotel runs the card mistakingly or they use it after you have stayed there to cover anything you didn't settle up on (parking, a phone call, whatever). Once your significant other sees a hotel charge on the card, the gig is up. Instead, slowly withdraw cash over the course of weeks (so as not to draw attention) and keep it in a secret place to pay for your rooms in cash. Reserve the room using a pre-paid debit card or go to the hotel in person to make the reservation and pre-pay it with your cash. If you are having a regular get-together with your lover, try to use the same place over and over. Develop a relationship with the staff. Hotels will only let you check in after 3pm. Most early check-ins are at 1pm. If you are meeting during the day and need it earlier than that, call ahead and tell them you are travelling and need a room to participate in a conference call or to prepare for an event that takes place early in the day.

4. Become more adaptable when it comes to traditional female-male roles. Don't be afraid to split the costs of outings, hotels, meals. It's easier for each of you to explain a $25 lunch than it is for one of you to explain the $50 lunch. Paying for the $140 hotel room is easier to hide if you each pay half. While women may expect men to cover most things, and men may feel a sense of responsibility to do so, your chances of being discovered decrease if you remain flexible.

5. Adapt the Osama Bin Laden communication methodology. That is, absolutely no texting or phone calls on your cell. Instead, create an anonymous yahoo or gmail account and access it ONLY when you are at work. Never email from home, it's just not worth it. There are too many keystroke programs out there that record what you have typed that can easily be installed without your knowledge.

6. Delete, delete, delete. This means everything. Delete all emails from your lover, even if they have photos you want to keep. Delete all your sent emails. Delete your deleted emails. Delete the history each and every time you use the computer. I learned this the hard way when one of my lovers saved her favorite saucy emails despite telling me she was deleting and her significant other busted her with a keystroke program and got into her email account by finding her password (yes, she used her home computer).

7. Always pay in cash for everything that you do together. Dinners, lunches, outings, EVERYTHING. It's not very hard to figure out that the lunch you claim to have had by yourself in town should not have cost $75 when it shows up on your credit card.

8. Adapt a policy of working out, dressing well, and wearing cologne/perfume every day. Nothing stands out to your significant other like a sudden need to change your appearance and/or the way you present yourself. It's called "change detection". Like a cop who patrols the same beat every day and expects the area to look a certain way, he will quickly notice any change. If you are a slob most every day of the week, and all of the sudden you are going "to lunch with an old friend" and you are dressed to the nines and smelling great, your significant other will get suspicious. If you gradually start to make yourself presentable EVERY day, they won't think there is anything amiss.

9. Don't save momentos or tokens that remind you of your lover. No panties, no t-shirts, no jewelery, NOTHING. If you don't have anything to be discovered, you never have anything to explain.

10. Always shower after meeting with your lover. This is obvious. While it may not be obvious to you, the scent of another woman/man is a dead giveaway and very noticeable to your significant other. This is especially true with women. They can detect even the perfume of another woman that you did nothing more than embrace for a prolonged period of time. If you have a shower at your workplace, use it after meeting. If you meet at a hotel, always take one before going back to work or home.
Rate this post positively

 
Old 09-02-2010, 05:57 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 38,129,477 times
Reputation: 42587
Why did your friend send this to you?
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 19,229,508 times
Reputation: 5487
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Why did your friend send this to you?
I asked him the same question and he said just for shyts and giggles.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:13 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 19,952,718 times
Reputation: 8668
An on-the-money list, Mr. Mao - good work!
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 19,229,508 times
Reputation: 5487
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
An on-the-money list, Mr. Mao - good work!
Much obliged Phil!
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:20 AM
 
29,491 posts, read 36,019,504 times
Reputation: 39144
"I don't condone cheating but sometimes it is inevitable"

Inevitable? Hardly.

The thing is, people that cheat, have such little self-control and respect, they'd never be able to abide by such a list in the first place.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:23 AM
 
656 posts, read 2,512,211 times
Reputation: 1195
I know this thread is not to be taking seriously

But despite this list covering most of the tracks

It doesn't cover the fact that the wife/husband has known you intimately over how many years? She/He probably knows YOU more than you do!

They will always notice something is different, no matter how small it is. Its like a bloodhound on the trail of a fox. The only guarantee you have is don't an affair or Kill the Wife/Hubby
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:24 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 19,229,508 times
Reputation: 5487
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom;15726778[B
]"I don't condone cheating but sometimes it is inevitable"[/b]

Inevitable? Hardly.

The thing is, people that cheat, have such little self-control and respect, they'd never be able to abide by such a list in the first place.

I should rephrase that with:

"I don't approve with cheating but weak people do oftentimes".
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:31 AM
 
Location: between here and there
1,030 posts, read 2,855,049 times
Reputation: 936
Hmmmmm...some extremely extensive effort to "cover your tracks".....maybe if you put as much effort into your marriage, affair coverage wouldn't be necessary? Just a thought.......
Rate this post positively
 
Old 09-02-2010, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,495,359 times
Reputation: 3735
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
"I don't condone cheating but sometimes it is inevitable"

Inevitable? Hardly.

The thing is, people that cheat, have such little self-control and respect, they'd never be able to abide by such a list in the first place.
I have to agree. Cheating isn't one of those things I'd call "inevitable". Paying taxes? Inevitable. Cheating? Not so much.

People cheat for a lot of reasons but they always do it because they want to. It doesn't happen by accident and it doesn't happen against their better beliefs LOL

The list is what it is, it was well thought out by someone who obviously makes it their life goal to cheat and not get caught. The fact is, even if you don't get caught, at some point you will screw up or your conscience will get the better of you. Or so I'd like to believe. LOL
Rate this post positively
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top