28 and no game... (dating, how to, women, young)

[Preditor74]

Ok, I need some help.

Like the title says, I am a 28 year old male who has NEVER been on a date before, never had sex, and just have no game what so ever.

All my life I've been overweight, which did a number on my self esteem (I'm 5'10", and my highest weight was 275lbs). I've been working at this recently and have dropped below 200lbs now, which is a first since I was in middle school.

My problem is I still am completely intimidated by the opposite sex. In the past year I've asked three girls out who I thought might be giving me hints, but turns out I was "just a great friend." This of course doesn't help my self esteem either. This is just getting very frustrating! Am I completely hopeless?

[SeattleCat]

No, you are not hopeless. When I was in high school I was painfully shy around girls. I mean like afraid to talk to them shy. When I got to college I joined some clubs and made some female friends through common activities and interests. It was purely platonic at first, but being friends with them did help me practice talking to them and before I knew it I was asking women out and dating. So, I would try to make friends with some women right now. Get used to being around them and talking to them. Don't worry about asking anyone out...yet. I am guessing that soon you will exude confidence around women and that will attract them. Yeah, you're a bit of a late bloomer, but you'll be fine. My dad did missionary work throughout his young adult life and claims he didn't have a date until his mid-thirties when he met my mom, so don't sweat it. Everyone goes at their own pace.

[buddy5]

Originally Posted by Preditor74

Ok, I need some help.

Like the title says, I am a 28 year old male who has NEVER been on a date before, never had sex, and just have no game what so ever.

All my life I've been overweight, which did a number on my self esteem (I'm 5'10", and my highest weight was 275lbs). I've been working at this recently and have dropped below 200lbs now, which is a first since I was in middle school.

My problem is I still am completely intimidated by the opposite sex. In the past year I've asked three girls out who I thought might be giving me hints, but turns out I was "just a great friend." This of course doesn't help my self esteem either. This is just getting very frustrating! Am I completely hopeless?

Seattle has some good advice. You could also volunteer
in an endeavor that you like. Especially if you like kids.
There are lots of boys and girls who don't have good male
role models. Moms find activities for their youngsters to
grow, as they interact with other kids and acceptable role
models. You can help someones little boy or girl achieve
something and women will want to be around you. If you
don't get a date, at least you know your are helping the
community.

[Ep-]

go out, do **** you like, have fun, talk to anyone and everyone and youll get better. asking out 3 girls aint much. i think i asked out 3 girls in HS and got shot down, then went to college and got better at stuff.

if all else fails become friends with some patron platinum

[miyu]

You need to be making a whole new circle of friends, asking some new girls out, and hang around people who don't know you from your pre-weight loss period. People have preconceptions from the past and it's hard to get rid of them.

[Joy333]

Great job on the weight loss!!!! You have to get out and meet new people!!!! I agree with the preconceptions from the past posted by miyu. Also...have you tried online dating?????? Just a thought. Good luck to you.

[carra]

Preditor, sorry if I'm making it blunt but one of the most important things you have to do is trying to get in shape. It will not only make you more attractive, it will also take care (partially of course) of your confidence problems.

Know however it's not going to be easy. Want motivation? look at this thread.

[TheJagMan]

Hit up a book store and read a dating book. It will provide you with confidence, provide you with the best odds of what to say or do and how to "read" the girl's body language...

[WestPhillyDude75]

Originally Posted by Preditor74

Ok, I need some help.

Like the title says, I am a 28 year old male who has NEVER been on a date before, never had sex, and just have no game what so ever.

All my life I've been overweight, which did a number on my self esteem (I'm 5'10", and my highest weight was 275lbs). I've been working at this recently and have dropped below 200lbs now, which is a first since I was in middle school.

My problem is I still am completely intimidated by the opposite sex. In the past year I've asked three girls out who I thought might be giving me hints, but turns out I was "just a great friend." This of course doesn't help my self esteem either. This is just getting very frustrating! Am I completely hopeless?

Sadly I'm the same and Handsome without game. I never knew HOW guys got their game and steuggled with dating for years. But no one is going to help grown man with this problem which is also annoying and you will to find the answer on your own. I was in college in my sphmore year and this girl I was really interested in embrassed me in front of my friend. My friend asked her-"what's up with you and my buddy?

Her reply-"Nothing, because he is from philly and I can't believe he has no game"

One of the lowest points of my college era

[samston]

Originally Posted by Preditor74

Ok, I need some help.

Like the title says, I am a 28 year old male who has NEVER been on a date before, never had sex, and just have no game what so ever.

All my life I've been overweight, which did a number on my self esteem (I'm 5'10", and my highest weight was 275lbs). I've been working at this recently and have dropped below 200lbs now, which is a first since I was in middle school.

My problem is I still am completely intimidated by the opposite sex. In the past year I've asked three girls out who I thought might be giving me hints, but turns out I was "just a great friend." This of course doesn't help my self esteem either. This is just getting very frustrating! Am I completely hopeless?

Why be intimidated of anybody?

First, forget about feeling bad of being overweight. Anybody who tells you that people will shy away from you for being overweight is lying. Think of it. Most people in the US are overweight. are all of those people shunned and lonely lol. Of course not. We can see readily that overweight people can prosper socially. Social interaction is about connections above all else.

And you seem to base your self-esteem on what others think. You should highlight aspects of you that YOU like. This is the real root of self-esteem.

Lastly, getting dates is not hard. You just have to be yourself, and surround yourself with friends. More social contacts means more dates.