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so i have a dilemma... i had this best guy friend, we were INSEPERABLE, i trusted in him 1000%, how ever he is very immature, in the sense that he would make me cry, we would fight ALL the time, however there was something that would ALWAYS make me go back to him. ALWAYS. He was actually my "first" ... he would throw tantrums, i just put up w so much BS... and we'll that just made things harder, long story short, he moved away bc of his job, we still kept in contact, we would talk on the phone EVERYDAY, and well one day he decided that he wanted to marry some girl he met at a club after knowing her for only a couple of months. I was heartbroken. Not bc I was jelous or anything, but because i knew that THAT was not the type of girl for him. I told him "you cannot turn a ***** into a housewife" but regardless, we ended up getting into a VERY heated back and forth via a social networking site, and he actually put on blast how i had lost my v-card to him on the site, and well i was VERY hurt, bc i only told him that he was dumb for making such a rash decision, so pretty much alot of things that SHOULDN'T have been said, we're said. I was hurt bc basically for some other girl he let our friendship go. I had helped him out SOO much when he was struggling financially and never ONCE did i ever call him out on anything, but the thing is that this happened, about 5 months ago. Since that argument i called him told him all the things that i had bottled inside for two years, and we called it quits on our friendship. ... and well yesterday i logged in to my facebook and i had a message from him. He said that he was sorry, that i had been right in everything that i had told him, that he was sorry that he'd left something so precious and the best thing that had happened to him go, and that he hoped that one day i could forgive him... i am still in kind of a shock bc to me he was dead. it sounds horrible, but i had made myself get used to the fact that i didnt have that friend to talk to at the end of the day anymore, that he was just not here anymore. and the only thing i could think when i read that message was, no. i was put through so much for two years, sooo much, i let him put me though i cannot go back to this... i currently have a great boyfriend, whom i care for deeply and not for an instant would i leave him, but my concern is that i don't know what i should reply to my friend, if i should reply... i just do not know...
i have forgiven him but i just don't know what to say, or if i even want him in my life anymore. i just can't fathom how someone could hurt and do the things he did to me to a "friend" ....
i have forgiven him but i just don't know what to say, or if i even want him in my life anymore. i just can't fathom how someone could hurt and do the things he did to me to a "friend" ....
This has to be your decision, but if it were me, I would be leary bringing him back into your life now, especially since you have a BF and things are good there. No need in rockin` the boat.
I guess I don't know why you choose friends that "make you cry all the time." I can't even really wrap my head around this...but you got to do what makes you happy.
i guess it was the fact that on his "good days" we were great. but he knew what to tell me to come back... very manipulative. or maybe he just knew me too well. i tried so muchhh to let him go before he left, and his leaving helped me unattach my self from him greatly ... i have probably read that damn message a thousand times, i HONESTLY do NOT know what to say. i dont think i should even reply at all... uuugghhh...
so i have a dilemma... i had this best guy friend, we were INSEPERABLE, i trusted in him 1000%, how ever he is very immature, in the sense that he would make me cry, we would fight ALL the time, however there was something that would ALWAYS make me go back to him. ALWAYS. He was actually my "first" ... he would throw tantrums, i just put up w so much BS... and we'll that just made things harder, long story short, he moved away bc of his job, we still kept in contact, we would talk on the phone EVERYDAY, and well one day he decided that he wanted to marry some girl he met at a club after knowing her for only a couple of months. I was heartbroken. Not bc I was jelous or anything, but because i knew that THAT was not the type of girl for him. I told him "you cannot turn a ***** into a housewife" but regardless, we ended up getting into a VERY heated back and forth via a social networking site, and he actually put on blast how i had lost my v-card to him on the site, and well i was VERY hurt, bc i only told him that he was dumb for making such a rash decision, so pretty much alot of things that SHOULDN'T have been said, we're said. I was hurt bc basically for some other girl he let our friendship go. I had helped him out SOO much when he was struggling financially and never ONCE did i ever call him out on anything, but the thing is that this happened, about 5 months ago. Since that argument i called him told him all the things that i had bottled inside for two years, and we called it quits on our friendship. ... and well yesterday i logged in to my facebook and i had a message from him. He said that he was sorry, that i had been right in everything that i had told him, that he was sorry that he'd left something so precious and the best thing that had happened to him go, and that he hoped that one day i could forgive him... i am still in kind of a shock bc to me he was dead. it sounds horrible, but i had made myself get used to the fact that i didnt have that friend to talk to at the end of the day anymore, that he was just not here anymore. and the only thing i could think when i read that message was, no. i was put through so much for two years, sooo much, i let him put me though i cannot go back to this... i currently have a great boyfriend, whom i care for deeply and not for an instant would i leave him, but my concern is that i don't know what i should reply to my friend, if i should reply... i just do not know...
i have forgiven him but i just don't know what to say, or if i even want him in my life anymore. i just can't fathom how someone could hurt and do the things he did to me to a "friend" ....
Let me get all of this straight:
1. A guy makes you cry because he is mean, and you consider him your best friend.
2. Just because a man met a woman in a club, it must mean the woman is a bimbo.
3. You call your friends "dumb" when they do things you don't approve of.
4. You air your disputes on social networks, for all of your friends and family and the world to see.
From the picture you paint, I would say your current boyfriend must be a very patient man.
1. A guy makes you cry because he is mean, and you consider him your best friend.
2. Just because a man met a woman in a club, it must mean the woman is a bimbo.
3. You call your friends "dumb" when they do things you don't approve of.
4. You air your disputes on social networks, for all of your friends and family and the world to see.
From the picture you paint, I would say your current boyfriend must be a very patient man.
Or maybe he's in 10th grade, too.
1. my fault.
2. I never said the girl was a bimbo, but i made my assumptions based on what HE had told me about her, last time I checked a girl that goes out from Thursday-Monday isn't exactly willing to settle down one minute to the next.
3. I didnt approve bc i dont think that you are ready to marry someone from one day to the next. If people thought out the act of marriage before doing so their wouldn't be as many divorces.
so i have a dilemma... i had this best guy friend, we were INSEPERABLE, i trusted in him 1000%, how ever he is very immature, in the sense that he would make me cry, we would fight ALL the time,
First you should never say you trust someone when they crap all over you and cause you to cry. A trusted person wouldn't do that to you. That should have been your FIRST red flag that he's not the friend you thought he was.
however there was something that would ALWAYS make me go back to him. ALWAYS. He was actually my "first" ... he would throw tantrums, i just put up w so much BS...
He's immature. You don't have to put up with anything. When a "friend" acts like this you need to learn how to quell that fire before it gets out of hand.
and we'll that just made things harder, long story short, he moved away bc of his job, we still kept in contact, we would talk on the phone EVERYDAY, and well one day he decided that he wanted to marry some girl he met at a club after knowing her for only a couple of months. I was heartbroken. Not bc I was jelous or anything, but because i knew that THAT was not the type of girl for him.
You were jealous. That's why you got into the heated argument. You were his first, you lost your virginity to him, of course you were feeling jealous.
I told him "you cannot turn a ***** into a housewife" but regardless, we ended up getting into a VERY heated back and forth via a social networking site, and he actually put on blast how i had lost my v-card to him on the site,
Be careful what you ask for! You throw your mess out for ALL to see you can be sure that your "friend" isnt' going to hold back. You're both immature for letting something so personal be spread all over creation.
and well i was VERY hurt, bc i only told him that he was dumb for making such a rash decision, so pretty much alot of things that SHOULDN'T have been said, we're said. I was hurt bc basically for some other girl he let our friendship go. I had helped him out SOO much when he was struggling financially and never ONCE did i ever call him out on anything,
You helped him because you love him. He's the one benefitting from everything here and you're the one being manipulated by him. I get that you two had your "thing" but that was over immediately after it happened. It's clear that you hold this guy to a higher pedestal then I'm sure he does for you. Have you ever once asked yourself what he's actually done for you? Aside from the intimate part, what has he actually done FOR you as a true friend would?
but the thing is that this happened, about 5 months ago. Since that argument i called him told him all the things that i had bottled inside for two years, and we called it quits on our friendship. ... and well yesterday i logged in to my facebook and i had a message from him. He said that he was sorry, that i had been right in everything that i had told him, that he was sorry that he'd left something so precious and the best thing that had happened to him go, and that he hoped that one day i could forgive him... i am still in kind of a shock bc to me he was dead. it sounds horrible, but i had made myself get used to the fact that i didnt have that friend to talk to at the end of the day anymore, that he was just not here anymore. and the only thing i could think when i read that message was, no. i was put through so much for two years, sooo much, i let him put me though i cannot go back to this... i currently have a great boyfriend, whom i care for deeply and not for an instant would i leave him, but my concern is that i don't know what i should reply to my friend, if i should reply... i just do not know...
In all reality, just from your entire post. I don't feel you're ready to have a b/f. I think it's too soon, I think you have a LOT of unresolved issues from your ex and the fact that you're putting this out there now shows that I'm right. If your b/f is wonderful then leave this past right where it is, IN the past. The answer is right above in bold "I currently have a great boyfriend...... I care for him deeply" - so the answer for should you reply is NOOOO.
i have forgiven him but i just don't know what to say, or if i even want him in my life anymore. i just can't fathom how someone could hurt and do the things he did to me to a "friend" ....
Exactly what I already said. A TRUE friend would not do those things to you.
I would not even give the ex the time of day, it's in the past and that is where it should stay. You have a new b/f, you say you care for him so put your energy into your current relationship and don't go backwards.
Thank you. You are absolutely right. it should stay in the past where it belongs indeed.
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... he would throw tantrums, i just put up w so much BS... and we'll that just made things harder, long story short, he moved away bc of his job, we still kept in contact, we would talk on the phone EVERYDAY, and well one day he decided that he wanted to marry some girl he met at a club after knowing her for only a couple of months. I was heartbroken. Not bc I was jelous or anything, but because i knew that THAT was not the type of girl for him. I told him "you cannot turn a ***** into a housewife" but regardless, we ended up getting into a VERY heated back and forth via a social networking site, and he actually put on blast how i had lost my v-card to him on the site, and well i was VERY hurt, bc i only told him that he was dumb for making such a rash decision, so pretty much alot of things that SHOULDN'T have been said, we're said. I was hurt bc basically for some other girl he let our friendship go. I had helped him out SOO much when he was struggling financially and never ONCE did i ever call him out on anything, but the thing is that this happened, about 5 months ago. Since that argument i called him told him all the things that i had bottled inside for two years, and we called it quits on our friendship. ... and well yesterday i logged in to my facebook and i had a message from him. He said that he was sorry, that i had been right in everything that i had told him, that he was sorry that he'd left something so precious and the best thing that had happened to him go, and that he hoped that one day i could forgive him... i am still in kind of a shock bc to me he was dead. it sounds horrible, but i had made myself get used to the fact that i didnt have that friend to talk to at the end of the day anymore, that he was just not here anymore. and the only thing i could think when i read that message was, no. i was put through so much for two years, sooo much, i let him put me though i cannot go back to this... i currently have a great boyfriend, whom i care for deeply and not for an instant would i leave him, but my concern is that i don't know what i should reply to my friend, if i should reply... i just do not know... 
No need in rockin` the boat. 
