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Old 09-17-2010, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,678,259 times
Reputation: 2157

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Trying to keep it on topic - this thread is about the benefits of marriage, not the pitfalls of divorce.

A strong marriage still offers many benefits: There are legal, social, emotional, spiritual and religious benefits to marriage.

Perhaps that won't always be true; the role of marriage is changing before our eyes, and for a lot of people the benefits no longer seem worth the risks. I completely understand that. But for a significant number of people the risks and rewards are worth it.

Fortune favors the brave.
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,678,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Yes, but usually you can just walk away without further problems. Risk of breaking up may be higher, but all other risks are lower. Seems worthwhile to me!
Try telling that to the poster, Vanilla Gorilla. She needs a pep talk.
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Old 09-17-2010, 04:36 PM
 
6,547 posts, read 7,266,132 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
A strong marriage still offers many benefits: There are legal, social, emotional, spiritual and religious benefits to marriage
Maybe some countries may offer tax breaks and how nice is that, but as for social/spiritual/religious stuff, you can enjoy those without being married. I enjoy those with different women just fine .

Quote:
Perhaps that won't always be true; the role of marriage is changing before our eyes, and for a lot of people the benefits no longer seem worth the risks
That's right. If the benefits seem minimal, the risk of failure so high, and the law is biased towards you (for men), of course many guys will think twice about getting married.

Fortune favors the brave? I can see that in other areas of life but when it comes to marriage, sadly, more than 50%-60% of brave men who got married have been ignored by fortune and biased laws towards men don't help on this.
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Old 09-18-2010, 05:17 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,678,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Maybe some countries may offer tax breaks and how nice is that, but as for social/spiritual/religious stuff, you can enjoy those without being married. I enjoy those with different women just fine .
There are plenty of benefits to being single but, for me, there is a world of difference between being single and being married. They are as different as night and day. I believe that marriage matters, that the benefits are enormous, and that it's worth defending. Marriage has benefited me personally on an emotional/social/spiritual level. I don't necessarily think everyone needs to be married to enjoy these things, but I know that I do.

EMOTIONAL BENEFITS: I can't give 100% of myself to a relationship where one or both of us are hedging our bets "just in case". Most of the justification I hear for couples living together is all about hedging bets. That is not my style.

PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS: Only within marriage have I ever felt able to totally let go, be vulnerable, unguarded, and give myself completely to my husband in ways that I could never do with a mere boyfriend. For one thing, that level of trust manifest itself in ways that are really..., um..., enjoyable. **blush**

SOCIAL BENEFITS: Marriage fosters social connections. The community, government, professional peers, friends and family recognize and accept us as a united pair. As a married couple we are shown more respect and are perceived as more stable.

THE BENEFIT OF RESPECT: Parents and family members take spouses more seriously and will give your beloved the respect he/she deserves. I once lived with a man for four years and when we visited his family during the holidays, we were asked to sleep in separate rooms. It was awkward and uncomfortable. His family also organized a big family vacation (on a cruise ship) -- all expenses paid -- except for me, that is, because I wasn't a member of the family. Ouch!

BUSY-BODY/JERK REPELLENT BENEFITS: Anyone who has been single for any length of time can expect to be questioned relentlessly about their status. The longer you are single, the more likely you'll be viewed with either suspicion or pity. People can be real jerks about it too. But no matter how politely they try to phrase it, the underlying message is always "What's wrong with you?" Marriage is still seen as the ideal state of being by most people.

SPIRITUAL BENEFITS: I am not a particularly spiritual person but my marriage has awaken a spiritual side of me that I never knew existed before. In its essence, marriage is a selfless act. It is the act of giving oneself to somebody else and becoming one. According to the Talmud, a man without a wife is considered incomplete. Again, marriage is considered the ideal state. Big surprise.

COUNTER CULTURAL BENEFITS: Marriage swims upstream against the tide of today's self-centered popular culture of "ME". So be a rebel and get married!

Last edited by boodhabunny; 09-18-2010 at 05:38 AM..
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Old 09-18-2010, 06:45 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,581,800 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
There are no guarantees either way, it's more about managing your risks.

That being said...you would hope that marriage would ensure a regular sex partner, affection--if that's what you're looking for, and some sort of financial and physical security.

Of course, as we've said, none of these are guarantees, but there are no doubt some people who seek these things from a marriage.
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Old 09-19-2010, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Northside Of Jacksonville
3,337 posts, read 7,107,067 times
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Yes, marriage has it's benefits but the risks are on par or outweigh the benefits. Who wants to get married knowing they'll have ups and downs? That's ridiculous I don't consider marriages that have ups and downs as an actual marriage, more like a yo-yo relationship. Oooo baby I love you so much then "you make me sick, get out of my life and home". The divorce rate continues to suggest that marriage isn't all the defenders make it out to be. When the divorce rate declines, then I'll have more faith in marriage but until then, it is what it is as far as me and marriage go.

Quote:
Anyone who has been single for any length of time can expect to be questioned relentlessly about their status. The longer you are single, the more likely you'll be viewed with either suspicion or pity. People can be real jerks about it too. But no matter how politely they try to phrase it, the underlying message is always "What's wrong with you?" Marriage is still seen as the ideal state of being by most people.


I agree with this. The number of times I've been interrogated about my marital status is frankly sickening. It's like folk feel sorry for me that they resort to setting me with up. Boo...I can get women on my own accord but as stated before, I have no desire to be in a relationship, not now and maybe never. That's my perogative Besides, there's a lack of quality women out there so I keep it moving on the trashy, ghetto, too-much-attitude, overly opinionated types.
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Old 09-19-2010, 07:47 PM
 
Location: between here and there
1,030 posts, read 3,074,904 times
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wow and this post thread goes on....it may as well be put to sleep by the powers that be with these two affirmations:

some people hate marriage
some people love marriage
and depending on your vantage point, the other side seems unfavorable to you.....

From these posts, apparently a lifelong LOVING relationship is much rarer than divorce, living together, and playing the field....maybe that's why it's so maligned: very few believe in Bigfoot either and the naysayers abound....
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:39 AM
 
1,342 posts, read 2,159,300 times
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The only benefits marriage offers in this day and age are legal, ie Taxes, Insurance, etc as any stigma of having a marriage-like relationship have died out--ie living together, having kids out of wedlock, etc.

The unintended consequence of 30+ years of no-fault divorce is that marriage has also become a winning lottery ticket for the lower earning spouse to cash in once they're "bored" or whatever else excuse they use to en things.
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:49 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, Fl
838 posts, read 1,872,545 times
Reputation: 492
Geez Nutz76 ... at least add "in my opinion" to your post
Attached Thumbnails
What are the benefits to marriage these days?-marriage.jpg  
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Old 10-10-2010, 02:09 AM
 
13 posts, read 47,298 times
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There are no benefits of marriage these days in North America. Lots of liabilities actually especially for a higher income earner. The past posts and other stuff I read elsewhere shows it clearly.
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