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Old 09-10-2010, 07:29 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,426,677 times
Reputation: 36811

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I found out today that a lifelong friend of mine (non-relative) passed away from a terminal cancer.

I regret not flying out to see them when they called with the news of their illness months earlier.

My reasons:

I thought there was more time/denial.

I had obligations.


I should have gone anyway. I regret it 100%!

Do you have any regrets relating to the passing of a loved one, friend, or family member?

If so, what are they?

Last edited by picklejuice; 09-10-2010 at 07:59 PM..
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Old 09-10-2010, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,595,690 times
Reputation: 24023
This is a little reversed, but I felt that my ex denied me my time to say good-bye to his mom and Dad, both.
Everyone else was there and got to say their good-byes, but me. I always resented him for that. I loved them too.
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Old 09-10-2010, 07:42 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 4,431,797 times
Reputation: 2865
Oh ya. I'll never make that mistake again. RIP Arthur G Whittier.
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Old 09-10-2010, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 79,039,435 times
Reputation: 22814
I could've been in the same situation - only with my parents... I was planning to go back home in summer and had made other plans for that Christmas. I'd already bought tickets, but something told me summer was going to be too late, and it was going to be. I'm so glad I went with my gut feeling. Wasn't gonna be able to forgive myself otherwise.
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Old 09-10-2010, 07:57 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,426,677 times
Reputation: 36811
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I could've been in the same situation - only with my parents... I was planning to go back home in summer and had made other plans for that Christmas. I'd already bought tickets, but something told me summer was going to be too late, and it was going to be. I'm so glad I went with my gut feeling. Wasn't gonna be able to forgive myself otherwise.
Glad to hear your story, sierraAZ!
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Old 09-10-2010, 08:41 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,423 posts, read 39,951,648 times
Reputation: 41900
So far no.

I'm sorry that things worked out that way.
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Old 09-10-2010, 09:32 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,426,677 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
So far no.

I'm sorry that things worked out that way.
Thanks, Chow.
It's a pretty bad feeling.
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Old 09-10-2010, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,369 posts, read 18,008,881 times
Reputation: 18406
Yes, with my dad and best friend. My dad was admitted to a hospice and on my 26th birthday while I lived 5 hours away, my aunt called to tell me he only had a week or two to live. I had planned on getting down there as soon as possible, but he died two days later. My mom was at his side just before he died. I believe he knew he was about to go. My mom had asked if he wanted anything and he gently told her "just let me rest". She left, and he died less than 30 minutes later. I called her right after she got the call from the hospice that he had died. I wanted to let her know I was coming down first thing in the morning. She was crying hysterically and told me he had just died. He was only 49 when he left this world.
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Old 09-11-2010, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Outside always.
1,517 posts, read 2,040,236 times
Reputation: 1570
This is too hard for me to talk about...but I will say I was there with my mom....my regrets are being a typical teen and not always treating her with all the love I felt.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:12 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 7,308,363 times
Reputation: 12261
My brother and my grandmother.

My grandmother had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. I wanted to go and see her but debated about taking the time from work. It was not her first bout with heart attacks so I kind of felt like it wasn't that serious and she would be ok. My husband kept insisting that I go and see her. I gave in and we went to visit her and brought her some new gowns to wear while she was there. We laughed and had a good visit. It was the last time I saw her alive. She eventually got out of the hospital and went on with life but a few weeks later she suffered a massive heart attack and died.

I felt incredibly guilty for even giving it a second thought about whether to go and see her or not. Had it not been for my husband insistance, I would have missed telling her I love her just one more time.

With my brother, I allowed my anger with another relative keep me from going home to visit during the Thanksgiving holiday. I decided to stay home and cook. The next month, my brother was killed at the age of 31. I found out from my mother they were looking forward to my visit and could not get in contact with me because the relative I was mad at would not give them my phone number. I won't go into that part...

I also found out my brother was displaced, was walking the road at 4:00am with no where to lay his head and was killed by a trucker that could not see him for the fog. Imagine my guilt of having a home and a place for him to stay but I did not know he was going through such a hard time. I wrestle with guilt and anger. Anger at myself, my mother for not telling me or giving him a place to live, guilt at not reaching out one more time to help him.......*sigh*

You just never know and for those who get a second chance......take it...for all it's worth. Take that opportunity to give that hug, kiss or just to say "I love you" for you never know if you'll get it again.
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