Very confused… don’t know whether I should feel angry or guilty. (boyfriend, woman)
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My boyfriend is currently on a diet and off the alcohol. On Saturday night we went out to a football game where if our team lost, we were out of the competition. We won in an amazing last minute victory and all the fans were so excited. I had asked my bf earlier if he minded if I went out for a drink after the game, depending on the result. As the result was so incredible, and as I knew he was going to be on the team's website talking about the game for the rest of the night and I wasn't going to get much attention, I couldn't wait to go out and party.
I asked him again and again if he was sure he didn't want me to come home with him and he said no, go out and celebrate. The next day I was quite hungover and he was furious at me. He went off his brain telling me he had to catch the bus home all alone and that I was selfish for leaving him. I was so confused! This was coming from a man who once left me alone in the middle of the night because I had to get off the bus and use the bathroom and he didn't want to miss the beginning of yet another game we were going to so he let me get off the bus alone and wait alone at the freezing bus stop for another bus because he couldn't miss 10 measly minutes of a football game.
For the rest of the day he treated me like garbage, speaking to me terribly (he went out, and when he came back I asked him where he had been, he told me it was none of my f'ing business). I would never EVER speak to him the way he spoke to me yesterday, no matter what he'd done.
Now today I don't know whether to be mad at him or feel bad. I understand his frustration at our Sunday together being wasted because I was hungover, but I don't think he needed to speak to me the way he did. He was telling me I should show him more support on his diet/alcohol ban while encouraging me to go out and celebrate at the same time.
People ask me why I am drinking when he’s stopped, and I tell them it’s because I'm a grown woman who can make my own decisions. He quit smoking and I didn't. I dieted and he didn't. We are a couple but we are also individuals. He would never ask me to stop anything for him and I would never ask him to stop anything for me.
What do you make of it?
P.S. I know y’all are over my whingeing, but this is the only place I want to come to when I need advice. I can’t believe how moronic people are on other advice websites.
"For the rest of the day he treated me like garbage, speaking to me terribly (he went out, and when he came back I asked him where he had been, he told me it was none of my f'ing business). I would never EVER speak to him the way he spoke to me yesterday, no matter what he'd done."
"This was coming from a man who once left me alone in the middle of the night because I had to get off the bus and use the bathroom and he didn't want to miss the beginning of yet another game we were going to so he let me get off the bus alone and wait alone at the freezing bus stop for another bus because he couldn't miss 10 measly minutes of a football game."
Well, we all know who his true love is: football. I'd run, not walk away from that relationship. I wouldn't look back either. He sounds like a control freak.
Just another issue to pile on top of all the others you have. I don't really think there's anything anyone can say that you will want to hear or consider.
Dieting is hard. Cutting alcohol is hard if there's an underlying addiction. Both can make people crabby.
As for the drinking - Yes, you are individuals, but if he has stopped drinking you should be considerate and not drink around him. It is called being supportive. You are clearly not relationship material if you are so adamant about doing what you want to do regardless of what is going on with your partner.
Just another issue to pile on top of all the others you have. I don't really think there's anything anyone can say that you will want to hear or consider.
Dieting is hard. Cutting alcohol is hard if there's an underlying addiction. Both can make people crabby.
As for the drinking - Yes, you are individuals, but if he has stopped drinking you should be considerate and not drink around him. It is called being supportive. You are clearly not relationship material if you are so adamant about doing what you want to do regardless of what is going on with your partner.
She isn't though she is going to a bar herself....I don't think she should have to give it up completly because he can't control himself.
My boyfriend is currently on a diet and off the alcohol. On Saturday night we went out to a football game where if our team lost, we were out of the competition. We won in an amazing last minute victory and all the fans were so excited. I had asked my bf earlier if he minded if I went out for a drink after the game, depending on the result. As the result was so incredible, and as I knew he was going to be on the team's website talking about the game for the rest of the night and I wasn't going to get much attention, I couldn't wait to go out and party.
I asked him again and again if he was sure he didn't want me to come home with him and he said no, go out and celebrate. The next day I was quite hungover and he was furious at me. He went off his brain telling me he had to catch the bus home all alone and that I was selfish for leaving him. I was so confused! This was coming from a man who once left me alone in the middle of the night because I had to get off the bus and use the bathroom and he didn't want to miss the beginning of yet another game we were going to so he let me get off the bus alone and wait alone at the freezing bus stop for another bus because he couldn't miss 10 measly minutes of a football game.
For the rest of the day he treated me like garbage, speaking to me terribly (he went out, and when he came back I asked him where he had been, he told me it was none of my f'ing business). I would never EVER speak to him the way he spoke to me yesterday, no matter what he'd done.
Now today I don't know whether to be mad at him or feel bad. I understand his frustration at our Sunday together being wasted because I was hungover, but I don't think he needed to speak to me the way he did. He was telling me I should show him more support on his diet/alcohol ban while encouraging me to go out and celebrate at the same time.
People ask me why I am drinking when he’s stopped, and I tell them it’s because I'm a grown woman who can make my own decisions. He quit smoking and I didn't. I dieted and he didn't. We are a couple but we are also individuals. He would never ask me to stop anything for him and I would never ask him to stop anything for me.
What do you make of it?
P.S. I know y’all are over my whingeing, but this is the only place I want to come to when I need advice. I can’t believe how moronic people are on other advice websites.
What i make of it is your man is a flipping toolbox really. If that was my bf and he talked to me like that he wouldn't have to worry about seeing the big game because i would bring it to him with my size 6 foot up his ass. Serious leave this jerk because you could do better.
There's no excuse for a man to treat his woman like garbage unless she's about to cut his man parts off with a butcher knife.
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