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To OP, your wife sounds a lot like my wife. First, ignore the people who are posting pictures of Andrea Yates. If you feel your kids are in danger, obviously do something about it. But it doesn't sound as if that is the case. And ignore those who are saying "get rid of her". She's not a dog, she's someone you've committed your life to.
Staying at home with the kids is extremely difficult for some moms. They just don't have the personality for it and the frustrations that come with raising kids can cause them to lash out. I've seen it with my own eyes. You may just want to consider having your wife go back to work and put the kids in some type of daycare. But her issues do need to be addressed regardless of what you do.
My wife suffers from depression and there is a link between the depression and the anger. Be careful about going to see a psychiatrist about this. I think it's a good idea, but in my wife's case the dr. just loaded her up with Valium and while she was no longer angry she pretty much seemed high all day long. Personally, I would suggest counseling. Talking about it is critical. It sounds funny but your wife needs to understand that this is wrong. Sometimes they get so angry that they lose sight of what is acceptable behavior.
The biggest problem is that she is modeling behavior for your kids. I don't know if you posted their ages, but they will assume this is normal behavior and they will do the same thing. If they haven't hit tantrum age yet, then you are in for a really rough spell once they do because they will throw fits of their own on a daily basis. I've seen it first hand. And obviously, this only adds to your wife's frustrations.
Give her some time off whenever possible. Definitely encourage counseling and/or anger management. But definitely do something before your kids start doing the same thing...
I agree about Andrea Yates - she had a pyschotic break precipitated by postpartum depression. She was delusional and hearing voices. Our OP's wife is just raging and temper tantruming - big difference.
However, we can not underestimate the effect her poor behavior is having on her children, their self-esteem and the favorable odds that they will themselves go on to mimic this behavior.
My wife is constantly throwing temper tantrums where she cusses and throws objects and slams her fist into the wall when she gets angry. This is not behavior that I would want my children to emulate. Any little thing can set her off and she throws these fits about once or twice a week. I try to avoid her as much as possible. She seems to have to learned this behavior growing up in her home where this was considered "normal". I would appreciate advise on how to deal with this.
This post should be the Relationships section
Avoid her?
No dont avoid her..Let her know when she throws a hissy fit you wont tolerate it.
She knows your going to let her act like a bratty child so she continues to do it.
She not at home with her parents where it was normal
Shes an adult
Take the kids and leave her and tell her your not coming back until she gets some help..
If you stay she know you will tolerate anything.
Anything sets her off??
WOW she has some major issues
and you have MORE if you stay with her and allow this
This post should be the Relationships section
Avoid her?
No dont avoid her..Let her know when she throws a hissy fit you wont tolerate it.
She knows your going to let her act like a bratty child so she continues to do it.
She not at home with her parents where it was normal
Shes an adult
Take the kids and leave her and tell her your not coming back until she gets some help..
If you stay she know you will tolerate anything.
Anything sets her off??
WOW she has some major issues
and you have MORE if you stay with her and allow this
The OP has quit posting so we have no clue what he's going to do or is doing.
I just hope he's doing SOMETHING - poor behavior like this should not be tolerated.
Frankly I am appalled. Replace wife with husband in that original post and nobody would be talking about vows.
That was my thought as well. I made that point earlier but no one responded. Who would suggest that a woman stay (and keep her children) in a home where the husband is putting his fist through the wall and throwing things around a couple times a week? Who would say that a man who becomes violently angry at the slightest little thing should be left caring for small children all day long? It would not be described as 'poor behavior' or a 'temper tantrum' if it was a man. It's a double standard for sure.
My wife is constantly throwing temper tantrums where she cusses and throws objects and slams her fist into the wall when she gets angry. This is not behavior that I would want my children to emulate. Any little thing can set her off and she throws these fits about once or twice a week. I try to avoid her as much as possible. She seems to have to learned this behavior growing up in her home where this was considered "normal". I would appreciate advise on how to deal with this.
Frankly I am appalled. Replace wife with husband in that original post and nobody would be talking about vows.
Ok, but we're talking about the wife, not the husband. What's the point of saying "replace wife with husband"? Why not just say "replace punching walls with punching children"? (and cue reply saying "that is what is going to happen next" in 3...2...1...).
Don't turn the reality around, it is what it is. It's not a good thing but don't make it out like he needs to flee with the children to save their lives immediately.
The reality of raising kids is that it is never a clear, straight path. It is often very difficult and sometimes you wind up in a really bad place. But you pick yourself up and deal with it as best as you can. Being a parent brings out both the best in you and the worst in you. You have to allow yourself to make mistakes, and your partner has to allow you to make mistakes. And sometimes, when an issue is raised that obviously needs to be dealt with, you deal with it. But anyone suggesting that he should just leave is being ridiculous.
It's amazing to me how many "experts" these boards bring out. If you have not had a personal experience with what someone has posted about, then don't offer your opinion. Because you don't know what you're talking about.
My wife is constantly throwing temper tantrums where she cusses and throws objects and slams her fist into the wall when she gets angry. This is not behavior that I would want my children to emulate. Any little thing can set her off and she throws these fits about once or twice a week. I try to avoid her as much as possible. She seems to have to learned this behavior growing up in her home where this was considered "normal". I would appreciate advise on how to deal with this.
From the OP's words....HE asked for advice and has not been back.
HE is concerned. HE does not want his children to emulate her behavior.
This is not normal behavior!
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Who would suggest that a woman stay (and keep her children) in a home where the husband is putting his fist through the wall and throwing things around a couple times a week? Who would say that a man who becomes violently angry at the slightest little thing should be left caring for small children all day long? It would not be described as 'poor behavior' or a 'temper tantrum' if it was a man. It's a double standard for sure.
