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You made some good points. Another possible reason that by no means applies to everyone but that is common enough to be a problem is when a woman is used to taking care of herself and then meets a man who is just going to be too much work. Sometimes women expect an adult man to have grown up and learned to take care of himself. You might meet a man who has a great personality, sex is good, etc., everything seems great in the beginning, but then you find he doesn't seem to have the ability to make himself a sandwich, or operate a washing machine, or clean a toilet...it gets old after a while. He might be resentful because his expectations are that a woman is supposed to do all those things, and her expectations are very different, and the relationship just doesn't gel.
I don't really know if that's the case for never-married women, but I know this comes up in conversations amongst divorced women.
Sing it!
I can't speak for anyone else, but that is exactly why, after my divorce, I didn't "gel" with many men in my traditional dating group--in their 40s (who would now be in their late 40s/early 50s). I daresay I wondered what kind of parents they were to their kids. Did they just feed their kids take-out when their kids were with them? Did their kids bathe in a grungy bathtub? Within a few dates I could tell why a few of them were divorced.
You made some good points. Another possible reason that by no means applies to everyone but that is common enough to be a problem is when a woman is used to taking care of herself and then meets a man who is just going to be too much work. Sometimes women expect an adult man to have grown up and learned to take care of himself. You might meet a man who has a great personality, sex is good, etc., everything seems great in the beginning, but then you find he doesn't seem to have the ability to make himself a sandwich, or operate a washing machine, or clean a toilet...it gets old after a while. He might be resentful because his expectations are that a woman is supposed to do all those things, and her expectations are very different, and the relationship just doesn't gel.
I don't really know if that's the case for never-married women, but I know this comes up in conversations amongst divorced women.
She doesn't suddenly wake up at 30, and say, damn, I forgot to focus on relationships ... let me get started now (LOL). By age 30, she expects the man to be a grown up too. When there's a disconnect, the relationships don't gel and these women wind up single.
I meet more 20-something women who have it more together than their male counterparts. The girls are in school -- not necessarily choosing male-dominated, type-A-personality work -- but studying to be medical assistants, nurses, teachers and to do office work. They're dating and already commenting about their frustrations with finding "decent" guys.
Meanwhile, I get the impression that the guys are doing everything they can to impress their buddies. For example, I saw two guys the other day on the train whom I'll call "frick and frack." They were perfectly coordinated with their hats, outfits, matching sneakers, flashy jewelry and pants hanging all the way off their azzes ... literally. Other guys are getting drunk and into fights weekend after weekend, roaming around in packs, or cruising in cars, cat-calling at women, with seemingly no tact whatsoever. And, the guys get angry when the women don't respond.
Can these guys be taken seriously? What are their ambitions and what are they doing to fulfill them? Would you date them? Hire them? Given these options, I don't think the women are smug or have standards that are too high when they choose not to date these men. Of course this isn't ALL men, but I do see it a lot.
Again, with girls getting serious about life's responsibilities faster than boys, by the time they're 30ish, they've reached the point where they're more focused on having a serious relationship than the average guy. It's not that he isn't into her ... he's just not ready.
BTW, since when should you be tossing in the towel at 30? That's still a mere baby in today's world.
Last edited by happylois3; 09-19-2010 at 02:36 PM..
successful career women just arent as attractive to men as successful career men are to women...its just not a criteria for men as much as beauty and perhaps youth is...and there just dont seem to be as many women who are willing to date a man on a lesser career level...women still have some catching up to do in that regard...Career driven females are in a lose lose proposition in terms of market value if they wait until they are established in careers and refuse to date down...From the sounds of it, they should just continue to be content as sex buddies and drop the horse and carriage bit.
Believe it or not these so called successful women are still having sex with men that are not their boyfriends or husbands. Most of these women are all having sex with the same type of minority dude. Never realizing that the guy they want is wanted by other women so why would he settle with her? Women never look for THEIR OWN man..they always want THE BEST man, even when other women have access to that same BEST man. Its a lose lose situation.
Quite simply, the older we get we realize we don't need a man to define who we are! So, at least we are wisening up. Also with the advancement of sex toys and such.....who needs them? And don't forget the love em and leave em motto is working out pretty damn well for us too!
+1
As a dude I love women that use sex toys!! Its healthy, they are not hoeing around and their value is maintained. She can buzz her way to pleasure multiple times and still be a classy woman in a wise mans eyes. Then you have those "I dont use vibrator/dildos I need a real man" women that are just lost!
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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What was that that Bridget Jones said when asked this question? "It doesn't help that under our clothes our entire bodies are covered in green scales"?
Way to much has been put into this thread. The simple fact of the matter is women hold the power when it comes to entering a relationship because Men will choose anything exeptable to us, we're not that picky. Everything guys look for in relationships we expect to happen after the first date, not before it.
If your friends aren't aiming too high, are communicating rather than hinting, and looking for a person rather than a list of criteria they would most likely be doing fine. even at their age.
Some women are just more self confident these days and realize that independence is a good thing, they realize that they don't have to fit into society's mold of getting married, having kids and buying a house while driving a mini van.
They are more educated these days, more independent, HAPPY in their independence and view men as something that's nice to have around but NOT a necessity.
Then you have the rest of the women in the same age group who would rather be dependent, drive the mini van and pop out 4 kids.
It is 2010, some women are just moving forward and being more forward thinking. I never did fit into the mold that I spoke of. I've always been very indepedent.
Same here....though I did make the mistake of getting married ( to an ass unfortunately ) and now I realize I am just not the marrying kind.
Sorry, but I do think that feminism is partially the reason. Not the ENTIRE reason and definitely not the first few stages of feminism, but the recent whole "you go girl" culture combined with this sense of entitlement (I deserve XYZ because I am a woman) has made for masculine women who are very demanding while not offering men what their masculinity craves (ie: femininity). Men and women are equal, but we are not the same and I wish more people would acknowledge that.
Go ahead, flame me. The fact is that most people are drawn to those that compliment them as an individual (like puzzle pieces) rather than those that compete with them.
Short answer is it could be any combination of the following:
Divorced
Focusing on career instead of settling down
Crotch hopping their 20s away instead of settling down
Seriously overweight
Very rarely do women actively choose to be single. It's typically a result of one or more of the above factors.
Sad to say, this post is accurate. Sometimes the truth hurts but its still the truth...
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... let me get started now (LOL). By age 30, she expects the man to be a grown up too. When there's a disconnect, the relationships don't gel and these women wind up single.
