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Sounds legit but you never know. It's always good to have a friend call during a date to give you an out if you need one. Just in case I don't think you should contact him for at least a few days.
Definitely don't buy gifts next time! That's definitely too much, I think it comes off as either desperate or pressure to commit.
Ok, I should have written what Clawson said! Great post, and very true. SWB, you have so much to offer; anyone else who doesn't recognize that isn't worth your time (or your tears!).
I also agree that confidence is sexy; insecurity and desperation are not. Please don't latch all of your hopes and dreams onto one person. It's too much pressure and they WILL run. You're a good person in your own right; please remember that.
SWB you are such a great guy and a great catch for the right man. I think the gift was given too soon. Slow down and just chat for a while and see what happens. Lunch maybe before a dinner date. You are sooo cute, just keep trying.
Now don't cry and don't jump to conclusions. Try not to be overly emotional it won't help. Remember u r the prize! Wait til u hear from the guy before u decide u have been blown off. Try not to call him if he does not call u. If he is not the guy for u count yourself lucky u found out on the first date before u waste anymore of your time or money. I think u should relax and focus on being good to yourself and when u least expect it u will meet someone who wants to be friends with u. Don't forget u r the prize. And never pay when a man is willing to. Some guys like to take charge and I say let them pay.
Playing hard to get is not always a smart thing to do. But I think you may have come on too strong. The first date is NOT the time for a gift. The guy can bring flowers or candy, but the woman doesn't. You were certainly expecting too much from a first date. It just doesn't work that way.
Another thing that bothers me is that you made reference to the fact that it was a good time for a date as your parents were out of town. If you are old enough to be out of high school and employed, this should not be a factor in your dating. Maybe it's time to think about moving out into a place of your own.
Ok, I should have written what Clawson said! Great post, and very true. SWB, you have so much to offer; anyone else who doesn't recognize that isn't worth your time (or your tears!).
I also agree that confidence is sexy; insecurity and desperation are not. Please don't latch all of your hopes and dreams onto one person. It's too much pressure and they WILL run. You're a good person in your own right; please remember that.
I too agree with what Clawson and Sandy and Sun Queen said. You are the prize.
But I remember your age--and that yearning feeling--as if it were yesterday.
Just try to chill out awhile and see what happens. Don't sell yourself short.
I feel for you SWB, I've been there on both sides. It is a difficult line to walk. Getting excited because you think you might have met someone that you connect with, doing too much, doing too little--nervewracking games you have to play and then disappointment and picking yourself up and letting go if you're on the side of rejection. Rejection is a tough one--you know it has nothing to do with you but it still hurts. I understand why people give up dating. Most of the time, I give it up but we live in a couple focused world and it is a basic human drive to want to connect to someone on a deeper level, physically and emotionally even when you have a life you enjoy. So it comes up every so often. Thank god for menopause it has lessened my sex drive (but not the desire for touch.) Some benefits to getting older as a single person. Staying busy helps.
The gift thing is a touchy thing yet can be good. The only gift I received that felt inappropriate was a bouquet of flowers sent to me at work from someone that hadn't met me yet--my daughter had set me up with the man. It made me a little nervous but that was my hangup--it was meant well. The gifts given on a first date that I got a kick out of were gifts of meat from men. I like things not the norm and somewhat weird and it seemed symbolic of taking care of me and it made me laugh because it was so unusual. One guy was a rancher who raised organic chickens and the other hunted and gave me backstrap of a deer he had just killed--I think that is the best part of the deer (and it was good.) I also like just one flower, preferably a garden or wildflower given with a smile. No big deal but thoughtful. Anyone who has been dating should understand the intent is good.
I want to learn meditation and yoga - just in case I meet someone who I am attracted to so I stay balanced through the beginning. Well and also stay balanced in my life. I seem to either go all out for something or hold back from fear. I'm still learning at 54 and expect it will continue until I am back to dust. Hang in there. Be yourself and the right guy will like your courage and passion for life and go for it.
Couple of things for next time - never buy a guy a gift on a first date (comes across like you're trying too hard, this won't be appreciated).
Make a first date short and sweet, you had too many things planned - dinner, icecream, movie, swim, dancing. Give the guy small doses to begin with, leave him wanting more.
First date, do not buy gifts for a man. Do not pay, you may offer to pay for your portion, or split the check. You are acting crazy. This was your first date in three years? What is that all about?
One, never cry over a man. He is probably not thinking about you.
Two, move on...if he calls, fine, if not, you are still a terrific person. Move on, find someone else to date. Get away from the computer...go out...
Do not pay, you may offer to pay for your portion, or split the check.
i'll give you a hint: Reston isn't a chick
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