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I've been on both sides. I've been in a group that shunned a certain person, and I've also been a person shunned before.
Have you ever stopped and thought that maybe there was a reason you're being shunned? As for me, I was being a bit of a dick when my old group of friends 'shunned' me and it wasn't until a few years down the road that I realized it.
I've been on both sides. I've been in a group that shunned a certain person, and I've also been a person shunned before.
Have you ever stopped and thought that maybe there was a reason you're being shunned? As for me, I was being a bit of a dick when my old group of friends 'shunned' me and it wasn't until a few years down the road that I realized it.
I have a situation like that at my job right now....our departments pretty small...about 14 ppl. and mostly all under the age of 30. but theres one woman who is in her mid 50's. And she complains about everyone, everything, and has the 'I am older so therefore I am so much wiser' attitude. And she shuns everyone because she treats us all like we're 5. Even the boss. But she's good at her job which is why I think she hasn't been let go.
But in turn, she is shunned by everyone here because no one wants to hear the old wenches mouth.
They are just insecure, jealous and probably even mentally sick. They just get off on bullying and putting down others, and this is what makes them happy. Pretty sad really.
Has anyone seen this social phenomenon at work, college, church, families, business, group of friends, etc? Someone will be really nice, cooperative, and cordial with 10 select people but will make an effort to be snide and ugly to one person i.e., giving the cold shoulder, being argumentative, not empathizing, pushing the person away figuratively, making body gestures of repulsion, etc. The person being difficult has the power and protection to be that way. The person being shunned is sort of the loner or the unpopular person. Anyone ever seen this? How can you explain that? I'd like to make sense of that. I've been the victim of that phenomenon a few times. However, I have thankfully not experienced that since my college years where I noticed an emphasis on homogeneity and limited speech. I think it's a power trip IMHO. These days I'm greeted with smiles and cooperation almost everywhere I go. It's so amazing what a change in culture can do for you!
Yes, I see it everywhere, it is very highschool, immature, bully/cowardice behavior.
I've been on both sides. I've been in a group that shunned a certain person, and I've also been a person shunned before.
Have you ever stopped and thought that maybe there was a reason you're being shunned? As for me, I was being a bit of a dick when my old group of friends 'shunned' me and it wasn't until a few years down the road that I realized it.
I have been shunned, but don't shun back. If I can't deal one on one with the person, I am not gonna drag my friends into an embarrasing situation like that.
That is why I vent on places like here instead of to my real life freinds.....don't have the bully mentalty.
I'm the same as you. It's hard for me to shun someone I do not like or hate. I always bring up some topic that is humorous. Or I try to find common ground so we can talk over it for a minute. I actually try to like difficult people. And, then I move on. It's just not in my nature to shun. I guess I'm too sweet ha ha.
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswee
I have been shunned, but don't shun back. If I can't deal one on one with the person, I am not gonna drag my friends into an embarrasing situation like that.
That is why I vent on places like here instead of to my real life freinds.....don't have the bully mentalty.
Oh my gosh, so true! Our firm hired a new girl fresh out of college (I'm still in college) and the one person I don't get along with decided to take the new girl "under her wing" and now she's a total ***** like the other woman, thinking she is so superior to me because she has a degree...I'm working on it!
I pass gas really loud, never wash my armpits, I walk into people, and I yell out filthy jokes every minute of the day. <sarcasm>
This is like asking why didn't Stalin like Hitler? Get it...........they were both a-holes. Bwa ha ha
There are some social phenomenons that people will never understand. Because, it is so convoluted and there are so many variables and so many opinions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893
What do you do or act like to get this cold shoulder? It must be your attitude. Does it stank? Alot of people have stank attitudes but don't even realize it.
Last edited by artsyguy; 09-25-2010 at 10:38 PM..
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