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That is an awesome way to evaluate the subject matter. Thanks for helping me out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
They are if being in the group matters to them. The individualists don't have problems with the group because they don't care about them, don't want to be a part of them. The group only controls those who are group oriented. The groups can't control those who don't want to be included into them so they can only control those who wish they could fit in.
In a poorly managed workplace, cliques can become a problem because they can control, they are allowed to do so by management but that's a workplace one should leave and get to one that is better managed.
Has anyone seen this social phenomenon at work, college, church, families, business, group of friends, etc? Someone will be really nice, cooperative, and cordial with 10 select people but will make an effort to be snide and ugly to one person i.e., giving the cold shoulder, being argumentative, not empathizing, pushing the person away figuratively, making body gestures of repulsion, etc. The person being difficult has the power and protection to be that way. The person being shunned is sort of the loner or the unpopular person. Anyone ever seen this? How can you explain that? I'd like to make sense of that. I've been the victim of that phenomenon a few times. However, I have thankfully not experienced that since my college years where I noticed an emphasis on homogeneity and limited speech. I think it's a power trip IMHO. These days I'm greeted with smiles and cooperation almost everywhere I go. It's so amazing what a change in culture can do for you!
Grown ups are just children with bills. I expect anything from them. And of course, they're sheep. I expected when I got in my 40's and 50's I'd be able to say goodbye to the childishness. I was wrong.
lol we are surrounded by dumb pieces of trash everyday ......
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeepoRsheep
Grown ups are just children with bills. I expect anything from them. And of course, they're sheep. I expected when I got in my 40's and 50's I'd be able to say goodbye to the childishness. I was wrong.
Grown ups are just children with bills. I expect anything from them. And of course, they're sheep. I expected when I got in my 40's and 50's I'd be able to say goodbye to the childishness. I was wrong.
Yeah, I agree, regardless of age, people will behave as they have learned through the years. I notice a lot that people who love to be in groups and are scared of being "outed" and being alone, usually target someone they think fears the same things they do. They generalize and will try to bully someone who is a loner. In their mind, the loner is afraid to be alone and wishes really badly to be in a group, because that's what the bully himself craves. So they project all their insecurities on people who enjoy being apart and don't mingle with a lot of people . They gather their supposed "friends" and all plot to bully that person in some way. This makes them feel like winners. Which is what they have wanted all along. But in reality, bullies are people who lack leadership skills and have been rejected by other people who didn't think they were good enough to join their little group. This hurt them very deeply and now that they have a little group of their own, they need to prove that they now have the ability to reject others, as they themselves were rejected. In their mind, everyone craves to be accepted into whichever group will take them. So in order to prove to themselves that they are now at the top and quite popular, they seek to reject others and many will indeed go as far as bullying, especially when the person they are rejecting doesn't give a damn about being accepted by that particular group in the first place. That person brings bad memories of other people who rejected them in the past, and they seek importance in some way. So they end up bullying and lying, and scheming. Anything to take back control of the situation.
I would bet that cliques go on in nursing homes. You can bet there's some group of cackling hens trying to exclude someone for some reason even at that stage of life.
I am pretty sure everyone has either been on the receiving or giving end of this issue a time or two in life. I myself, haven't got a problem making new friends and/or getting along with new people. Because I know where I draw the line. I follow the general vibes I get from people from the time I meet them.
I had an issue similar to another poster, we had a group of about 15 people on our team in one small area that I managed. The oldest of the bunch, was labeled the ring leader. Her comments were always aggressive and had an attitude like she was due some sort of special treatment because of her age. Although the oldest of the group she acted like the youngest. She fed off the fear of her little group by making certain comments about management, other co-workers or clients and if they didn't agree with her or add to the convo, she would personally attack them and make them feel like they were wrong for not agreeing with her. I addressed the situation indirectly in 2 preshift meetings, trying to handle it more professionally, trying not to single her out. Which I should have embarassed her for some of her actions towards my other (positive & productive) employees, but I didn't. Once her shift started, I overheard her having a conversation about her being able to say what she wanted because it was her mouth and nobody is gonna tell her how to act or what to say out of her mouth cuz she is a "grown ass woman". That really pissed me off. So I pulled her to the side and let her know this would be her first and last warning that if she didn't refrain from the unprofessionalism and the overall negative attitude she supplied to the callroom, I could find someone else to replace her with the positivity we need in an already stressful environment. At first, she felt like I was attacking her, and tried to play the victim, but when I started addressing everything that I had witnessed personally and then went in to complaints from co-workers, and not to mention a few clients I had to calm down because of her attitute, she realized all her little "friends" were ratting on her and didn't accept her behavior. I also pointed out that I heard her "grown ass woman" comment and advised her that she had it completely backwards. A grown ass woman doesn't conduct herself in such a manner. I hoped my conversation with her would help her recognize our reality and the fact that she knew other co-workers had complaints but didn't know exactly who it was made her very uncomfortable. She went back in the callroom and didn't say anything else to anyone for the rest of the day. She didn't show up for work the next day. So, it worked out for everyone. You just have to show these types of people that there stupidity does not and will not affect you. The attention to their tactics is what keeps them going.
Furthermore, going into a workplace, your focus shouldn't be to fit in with other coworkers, it should be to do your job, make your money and go home. If you make a few friends, good, but keep in mind this is the real world. You can't trust everyone and anyone that may talk to you is not your friend. Unfortunately, I don't think we will ever be rid of it.
I am pretty sure everyone has either been on the receiving or giving end of this issue a time or two in life. I myself, haven't got a problem making new friends and/or getting along with new people. Because I know where I draw the line. I follow the general vibes I get from people from the time I meet them.
I had an issue similar to another poster, we had a group of about 15 people on our team in one small area that I managed. The oldest of the bunch, was labeled the ring leader. Her comments were always aggressive and had an attitude like she was due some sort of special treatment because of her age. Although the oldest of the group she acted like the youngest. She fed off the fear of her little group by making certain comments about management, other co-workers or clients and if they didn't agree with her or add to the convo, she would personally attack them and make them feel like they were wrong for not agreeing with her. I addressed the situation indirectly in 2 preshift meetings, trying to handle it more professionally, trying not to single her out. Which I should have embarassed her for some of her actions towards my other (positive & productive) employees, but I didn't. Once her shift started, I overheard her having a conversation about her being able to say what she wanted because it was her mouth and nobody is gonna tell her how to act or what to say out of her mouth cuz she is a "grown ass woman". That really pissed me off. So I pulled her to the side and let her know this would be her first and last warning that if she didn't refrain from the unprofessionalism and the overall negative attitude she supplied to the callroom, I could find someone else to replace her with the positivity we need in an already stressful environment. At first, she felt like I was attacking her, and tried to play the victim, but when I started addressing everything that I had witnessed personally and then went in to complaints from co-workers, and not to mention a few clients I had to calm down because of her attitute, she realized all her little "friends" were ratting on her and didn't accept her behavior. I also pointed out that I heard her "grown ass woman" comment and advised her that she had it completely backwards. A grown ass woman doesn't conduct herself in such a manner. I hoped my conversation with her would help her recognize our reality and the fact that she knew other co-workers had complaints but didn't know exactly who it was made her very uncomfortable. She went back in the callroom and didn't say anything else to anyone for the rest of the day. She didn't show up for work the next day. So, it worked out for everyone. You just have to show these types of people that there stupidity does not and will not affect you. The attention to their tactics is what keeps them going.
Furthermore, going into a workplace, your focus shouldn't be to fit in with other coworkers, it should be to do your job, make your money and go home. If you make a few friends, good, but keep in mind this is the real world. You can't trust everyone and anyone that may talk to you is not your friend. Unfortunately, I don't think we will ever be rid of it.
wrong you have to fit in with other coworkers in addition to doing your job.
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