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Old 09-28-2010, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Clayton, MO
1,159 posts, read 1,550,260 times
Reputation: 1547

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*Hi! New here!!*

Men: Can you honestly be "just friends" with a woman who is attractive to you and who at one point showed interest in you?

Here is the scenario:
You are in a committed relationship, but find yourself attracted to a woman you work with, physically and mentally. You have been talking to her at work. Your employer has now asked you to avoid socializing with her because rumors are now circulating about the two of you. You still see her in the halls and still have a few moments to talk.

Do you remain just friends?
Do you try and persue friendship outside of work?
Would you tell your girlfriend about her?
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Location: North of the border!
662 posts, read 1,078,776 times
Reputation: 1297
No man ever "wants" to be just friends with an attractive woman. We aren't wired for it.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,293 posts, read 12,798,896 times
Reputation: 6637
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy.Rivers View Post
*
Men: Can you honestly be "just friends" with a woman who is attractive to you and who at one point showed interest in you?

Do you remain just friends?
Do you try and persue friendship outside of work?
Would you tell your girlfriend about her?
These are all choices. You can do whatever you want. Just because you are attracted to someone doesn't mean anything has to come of it. Of course, if you play with fire you increase your chances of getting burned.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:24 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 7,312,994 times
Reputation: 12261
I would say no because anytime you are attracted to someone physically and mentally there is always a chance it could be taken further if the right scenario presented itself. These types of friendships are best kept as civil and professional as possible, especially in the workplace.

Tread lightly.....very lightly.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 18,632,672 times
Reputation: 5464
I could certainly try.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:45 PM
 
635 posts, read 1,524,195 times
Reputation: 368
A man could be friends with an ugly woman...A man cannot be just friends with an attractive woman.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,396,462 times
Reputation: 10958
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy.Rivers View Post
*Hi! New here!!*

Men: Can you honestly be "just friends" with a woman who is attractive to you and who at one point showed interest in you?

Here is the scenario:
You are in a committed relationship, but find yourself attracted to a woman you work with, physically and mentally. You have been talking to her at work. Your employer has now asked you to avoid socializing with her because rumors are now circulating about the two of you. You still see her in the halls and still have a few moments to talk.

Do you remain just friends?
Do you try and persue friendship outside of work?
Would you tell your girlfriend about her?
I can be cordial to her, but recognize that I am in a committed relationship already. How much I share with that person I'm committed to depends on her jealousy, and how she takes it, but I would prefer to be open and honest about it.

For the most part, I do not try to pursue friendships with other people, and she would get as much of my attention as any of my other acquaintances. Which isn't much at all.

EDIT: For the record, I live with an ex-girlfriend--and there is no thought of returning to that relationship. There are no roadblocks to her having a boyfriend or me having a girlfriend, as far as I'm concerned. We don't even talk to each other, really. We're cordial, but separate.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:57 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,920,582 times
Reputation: 1725
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy.Rivers View Post
*Hi! New here!!*

Men: Can you honestly be "just friends" with a woman who is attractive to you and who at one point showed interest in you?

Here is the scenario:
You are in a committed relationship, but find yourself attracted to a woman you work with, physically and mentally. You have been talking to her at work. Your employer has now asked you to avoid socializing with her because rumors are now circulating about the two of you. You still see her in the halls and still have a few moments to talk.

Do you remain just friends?
Do you try and persue friendship outside of work?
Would you tell your girlfriend about her?

LOL i have never been able to keep too many male friends.....so i go with no.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,322 posts, read 8,366,831 times
Reputation: 8665
I can be friends with an attractive woman. I seem to have no difficulty putting her into the friend category (subcategory without benefits). I have a few such female friends now. Yes, my wife knows about them, and we often socialize together, though sometimes I'll meet them for lunch or dinner alone. Even if they try to turn it into something more, I'd still not succumb, and would give them only one chance to behave or I'd have to terminate the friendship.

If I weren't IN a relationship, then I might reconsider their category and/or subcategory - assuming they were also interested.

As for your work situation, that can be complicated. Rumors will persist and spread, even if there is no good foundation for them. People love gossip, and some enjoy ruining reputations, deserved or not. I'd move the friendship outside of work, avoid each other at work, and certainly inform my wife or g/f (it's the right thing to do, though of course you know she'll probably find out herself or someone will tell her eventually, so better to come from you if things are really on the "up and up").
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Old 09-28-2010, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Clayton, MO
1,159 posts, read 1,550,260 times
Reputation: 1547
Thank you for the replys so far.

Now my question is, what is your motive for having this friendship. If she is attractive, is it possible (and or how likely) that your motives are without intention of persuing anything more....or can your motive be to simply have this woman as a friend without the intention of possible something else?

In your past experience, have you had friendships with attractive women where you were not trying or hoping for more? Can "platonic" really mean what it implies?
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