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Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?
Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.
Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.
I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.
What should I do?
Seriously..Go and volunteer...You can make new friends...and also make a difference to someone elses life..
VOLUNTEER
I can relate to TKramer. I'm a very solitary person despite having grown children and a good long term relationship. I just have a couple of friends, and I do mean a couple, as in two LOL
I only ever have a friend or two around and even there are times I don't. I like being alone, love my family and b/f but do require alone time. I desire it, crave it and want it sometimes.
As for you and your situation, going to college is a tough time for a lot of folks your age. When my kids got out of HS, my son and daughter both took time off before deciding to go to school or work and they noticed it big time. No friends in sight. They all went off to college and looked around shaking their heads. They got really bored, really quickly. They did indeed feel alone and bored but, it's a huge transition period in your life.
This is the point in your life where you start making new decisions about who your real friends are and it's when you are going through some changes yourself and will make new friends that have more in common with you...
Go with it, don't get down about it. Things will work out but this is going to be a tough time in your life.
OMG I feel the EXACT same way that you do stressedcollegegirl. DO NOT think that u r alone. I am so sorry for the brutal summer that you had to endure but things will get better. Hopefully I suggest to try joining a club, get out there and make new friends! Someone out there will appreciate that nice young sweet girl who took the time to initiate a conversation.
One of the things I do besides work is I walk dogs for extra income. I dont know maybe its because I love animals but seeing those dogs make me sooooo happy. Just try to find something that you like to do and pretty soon u wont be worried about ur old friends. I know its easier said than done but just try.
OP, you sound pretty depressed to me and when you're depressed, everything just seems harder and people seem unfriendlier. I agree with the advice to force yourself to join the club or some other thing. Or pick up a new musical instrument or start another new hobby of some sort--it may just be what you need.
Its probably situational depression. College can do that to just about anyone. We tend to grow and mature in college. Sometimes we might transition into a different set of friends, it can take a while to make these new life long relationships. They might be totally different as the people you once thought you had a lot in common with. Try to get into a routine of eating, doing laundry, having coffee or what ever. It will be good for your depression. Having a routine will help you meet people with the same schedule as yours.
Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?
Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.
Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.
I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.
What should I do?
As I have gotten older the concept of "friendship" has become less and less interesting to me. When you are younger, friends come cheap and easy - but they are not true friends, as it seems you are discovering.
Now, my dh is my best and only true friend. (I do have two people from my childhood who live a thousand miles away or more, that I keep in contact with). I have learned that most people (90 percent) are friends only when they want or need something from you. Otherwise, they are too busy with their lives to concern themselves with friendship.
My advice is two-fold. Find someone to spend the rest of your life with and make them your best friend *or* resign yourself to be your own best friend. Learn to be happy alone and in your own company. Enjoy solitary activities like reading, going to museums, listening or playing music, writing or reading books. It makes it a lot more fun and interesting to live a life where you are not dependent upon someone else to entertain you.
Also, if you feel depressed, you might consider taking some B Vitamins. Depression can be directly linked to B Vitamin deficiency. It might make you feel a lot better about not having a gaggle of so-called "friends" hanging on you.
I well remember the feeling you are having from when I was young. It is VERY common. And my daughter calls me a lot too and often feels friendless. LOL.
We all feel like everyone else is out there having fun while we sit home alone. And all the social sites and networks today just exaggarate that. Go ahead and join something, it WILL make you feel better. The breakup with your bf probably has a lot to do with it too, give yourself time to get past that.
Thank you everyone for your responses! I felt so much better after reading them.
I decided to call a friend of mine last night and I found out that she was going through a similar phase as well. But we both made a pact to get though these low times.
Today (rather in the wee hours of last night while on the phone w/ said friend), I decided to do something for myself that I've wanted to do for a long time (but haven't gotten the chance to do): go to Boston. Needless to say, it was fun going to a city I've dreamed about going to by myself. Took lots of pictures (which will be hopefully be developed and posted sometime this month). That for sure cheered me up....a lot! Everyone can always use a break in their routine lives, and I certainly needed that.
Now I'm curious...does anyone also feel that traveling is a good pick-me-upper (either alone or w/ others)? If traveling isn't your spirits-lifter, then what is? What really gets you going and loving life when you're feeling down and out?
travel is a great upper, as is working in the animal shelter
When I felt like crap my last semester at school, I volunteered several times at the animal shelter-nothing made me feel better than playing with the puppy in the office and a few of the pitbulls
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